A week? Give me a ****ing break.

Aside from one EPIC FAIL date, I have been pretty much ignoring women for about three months now.

TigerPig would make an oustanding wing man....my undescrimating friend, everyone needs one.

I couldn't even get hard around one. No thanks.

Not to mention the sheer horror factor. And the mental scars.

Someone sounds like he's never ****ed a hot chick...

I say ugly in the sense that most people think of it. But to me ugly is the self-entitled b*tches who think their p*ssy is a gift from God (as I said before).

Fat chicks are, well, fat. But that's okay. I'm no Abercrombie model myself. I'm not fat, but I'm short, pale and scrawny and that's actually worse for a guy than being thicker. Being imperfect oesn't mean you can't be fun to hang around, and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean you can't be amazing in bed. Like I said before, a lot of these bigger girls don't get nearly as msny chances to prove themselves, so when they get some action they do EVERYTHING they can to try and please the guy.

And eye contact is imperative. Closing your eyes is like not kissing.

Hot girls with self esteem problems --- jackpot.

:D

I think a lot of it for me is psychological. A fat chick tried to force herself on me once.

Are you sure you're a guy? I thought only women felt this way.

And anyway there are way different levels of fat, there has to be a limit there.

I think you're letting America's stereotype of the the worthy chick guide you.

How do you know you don't like sleeping with fat chicks? It's like saying you don't like eating something whenever you've never tried it. There are lots of disgusting looking foods that taste great. And vice versa.

I have. But keep in mind that hot isn't necessarily physically attractive. Ugly goes a lot farther than just having a face that looks like its been stabbed with a fork 300 times.

I'm definitely no Cassanova, nor am I going to pretend I am. I'm just a guy with lower-than-normal standards, who over the years has sort of learned how some to most women think and act. And there's two types of girls. The insecure ones and the arrogant ones. The arrogant ones look at you with judging eyes. Even when they rate you highly, its never as high as themselves. The insecure ones pretend to do this, but you can see right through it. Usually you can fuck with them and get what you want. I actually told a girl her boobs were too small and she needed to go get them done within FIVE minutes of meeting her. She got offended, but kept talking and asking me stuff. I actually ended up getting her number. You make them feel like they aren't good enough, and they start trying to do what it takes to make you change their mind.

Yeah, CP fat is anything in the triple digits, since we're all married to anorexic supermodels.

I'm really getting tired of your bullshit.

I'm not sleeping with a woman who looks like she can play some nose tackle, but I don't require them to weigh 120 either.

I'm going to go ahead and call it:

TigerPig will be n00b of 2010.

Okay, I will say that although I've had sex with some BIIIG girls, lol, it does start to bother me when there are rolls. But you should do what you want. So what if you don't have sex very often? Its not like it makes you any more or less of man, or person for that matter.

Just remember that when it comes to love, its not as romantic as the movies make it out to be. The key to having a good relationship, IMO is to make her love you more than you love her. Everyone thinks that's crap because people should love each other equally, but... yeah right. When you love someone more than they love you, it sucks. You might as well detach emotionally to make sure you don't get burnt. And then after a few months or a year or so you can ease in to a deeper level.

Yeah, the 'nice guys' take the whole "women like assholes" thing too far and think it means you really have to be an asshole (I should know, being a veteran nice guy), but not being a pushover and simply being assertive, similar to what you describe, can take you a long way.

LMAO

I strongly suggest you read "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" by Tucker Max. Then I strongly advise you to do NONE of the same things he does in that book. But you should just think about it. Keep it in the back of your head. If ANYTHING remember this: No matter who she is or how hot she is, SHE'S JUST A GIRL. She is nothing unless you make her something.

No, you've got to be a certifiable dickhead to get what you want.

Aw. :sulk:



Are there CC college classes I can take or a pill or something?

That's because most hot guys are dickheads, and for the same reason hot chicks can get away with being bitches.

put it in her ass. If she let's you it's love.

You have to be a charming dickhead.

Once again I'm no Don Juan, but I'll tell you one of the stuff I do. Sometimes it works, and sometimes you (literally) get hit.

I was at a party, and these two girls started making out. All the guys start cheering like idiots. So when they're done I ask the girls, "So do you girls make out when you're by yourself, or do you just do it around other guys to get attention?" They didn't say a word, because they knew I was right and I called them out on it. I didn't get anywhere with either of them, but I thought it was funny nonetheless.

Then there was a girl at a party who was wearing this tight-ass spandex shorts that showed off the bottom part of her cheeks. All the guys were checking her out, but I decided to be a prick. I went up to her and said, "Can I ask what the fuck is up with wearing pants like that?" She called me a prick, but one of the girls who saw me do it started chatting me up and gave me her number.

Another girl was drinking a beer, and her friend went to the bathroom and gave her her beer to hold. So as she's holding these two beers, I go up to her without having said ANOTHER word to her before and ask, "So do you usually like two at once?" She got offended, then laughed, and I actually went out on a date with her.

Just have fun. If its not your style to be a jerk then don't be. If its not your style to go out to parties like that, then don't. I just do what I do, and to be truthful its probably the wrong way to be doing it. But I have fun!

Good place to post this.

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Making love to woman is easy. Just rent a "Bridget Jones" dvd and attack her in the middle of it.

Any guy that would watch "bridget jones" with a woman MUSt be in love (or, you can at least make that argument).

This thread was moderately entertaining until the creepy fat kid with bulimia showed up.

Clay, you're always going to be fat in your head. No amount of exercise will fix you inside.

High cholesterol can be dangerous!

I'm sure the posts of my mediocre advice and mild-to-moderately-entertaining shenanigans didn't help the thread either, lol.

I don't know about you

I can be myself

How bout you?


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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jMyjjeSWak

As a lesbian trapped in a man's body, this thread makes me hot.

Watch "House", take notes.

Oh. My. God.

I agree with this to an extent. If a guy finds a woman who isn't fat and yet he still can't handle her weight, chances are pretty good that adding more weight to the situation isn't going to be any more pleasant. The same goes for being disgusted by cellulite...going from moderate cellulite to severe with vericose veins and razor-sharp stubble isn't going to have any "great taste."
:Lin:

Thats beautiful man

Grind up some corn. add a little soybean meal, some trace minerals and vitamins. Put about 4 ibs in the feeder and they won't care what the sex is like !

you should really consider changing your name to BrickTop

18 to 80, blind, fat, crippled, or crazy but nothing over six days dead.

Now you know how your dates feel.

My nomination for post of the year. This is pure comedy. Funny part is, he's DEAD SERIOUS... ROFL

I had to dig this thread up from the second page, because I'm depressed today and it makes me giggle.

I'm surprised he left out the dulcid tones and timless treasures of one Michael Bolton.

Odd, my threads usually hit 100 posts at a minimum, seems to me like there's a place for them here. And nobody is forcing you to open, read, and reply multiple times are they? Why dont you just go back to bitching about Pioli and when you see a thread created by me, muster up all your strength and skip by it.

Those songs were written for a reason, brah.

Irresistibly drawn to me? Yeah.

Skip Towne endorses them as well.

http://pix.motivatedphotos.com/2009/...hisonetime.jpg

That's not an update! Details details details...

ROFL ROFL

On Stern today they had an epic Sybian ride. They had the inventor in, who's 80 years old now, and he insisted in guiding the session. First off, if I'd been listening with the windows open, there'd be cops at my house right now. The girl went WILD. But the funny part was, the old guy was straddling her, operating the controls, guiding her position and 'coaching' her. When she reached max deployment, he told her to 'release the poison.'

Have they updated Artie's status?

You are a noob! Not long ago you where crying over your ex wondering what to do,now you need directions on how to "make love to another women". I repeat You are a NOOB!

No. Mum's the word.

Pic linked b/c it's creepy/racy, not NOT technically NSFW.

http://www.howardstern.com/image.hs?...ave-s-knee.jpg

Her name is Raven Alexis. She's a porn star. Can't give you links cuz of my noob status here.

text from Stern's website:

PORN STAR RAVEN ALEXIS

Porn star Raven Alexis stopped by for the ceremonial 123rd Sybian ride and said it was just another notch in her porn belt: "I haven't done anal [on film] yet, but I'm ready to do it in the future." Raven said she'd already crossed a lot of things off her bucket list, including mile-high sex--with a (female) flight attendant: "I ate her out and she ate me out...I love doing it in public."

Raven told the crew she loved to dress up for sex, at costume parties and at costume sex parties: "I have a Star Trek thing so I love wearing my Star Trek uniform." Raven added that she’s also married with two kids--a fact that shocked Howard: "Two kids? 23-years-old? Holy mackerel." David began to get impatient, wondering aloud how far they should push the 123rd Sybian ride: "Maybe we can turn it up so high her vagina explodes."

Oh, I remember this thread now. I think I said do it fast and hard, she'll love you after that. lol

Not that I am much of a Stern follower, but I at least know the cast of characters. What's the big deal with Artie?

For those who enjoy seeing women ride the Sybian, there's certainly plenty of options on the various aggregators out there (Youporn, etc.). There were also two sister websites exclusively dedicated to filming women riding the sybian -- one was women found here in the US and the other was foreign, mostly Eastern Europeans.

Not, you know, that I ever personally inspected any of these videos or anything. I just heard about them...

I love to watch women ride the Sybian.

If, by Sybian, you mean "my penis" or "my face".

Ha[s/d] a big H problem. Cost him his 'love' 'Daner' [ie, Danah]. Would miss work more than usual [a day, rarely 2 ever 2-3 months or so]. Usually after a road standup gig [usually where he indulged the dragon, coupled with travel and weird hours]. Gained a lot of weight, and got more moody, including a couple of downright scary on air fights. Looked to be cleaning up throughout 2009, lost weight, hired a 'babysitter' to stomp his ass if he leaned Heron-wise. Then right before Christmas, when he surpassed the age his Dad died [his dad died a quadriplegic in Artie's teens after falling off a ladder he was using improperly and didn't own, while self-employed as a roofer [so no lawsuit for his injuries].
Anyway, right before Christmas he plunged a Wolfgang Puck Chef's knife into his abdomen like a dozen times, knowing his mom was bringing a hot dish [food, not babes] over.

I haven't read this entire thread... so maybe you already answered this.....

"for awhile now?" What does that mean? Since your wife gave birth to another man's child?

Or are you talking about her?

ROFL

All these stories, from pregnant ex, balloon girl, to hot coworker, are very appealing to the board, yet I wonder how much it is true and how much is just mere fantasy?

Check the original thread date. This is a couple of months AFTER his wife cheated on him.

I'm going to share with you the great secret of "making love" to a woman. It's a simple secret, really. You just pretend that you're a lesbian in a porn film who's seducing a reluctant but curious straight woman, and do what you'd like to see if you were watching the film. And with that, you become the world's greatest lover.

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Might be time to change the name to porn planet...
Posted via Mobile Device

:thumb:

Put your thumb in her butt and gently ask her "is this what you had in mind"?

Whenever this shows up on Youtube, I encourage all.

Only keep the windows closed, for penitentiary concerns.

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For those of you wondering where 'get the poison out' came from on ESPN and talk shows and local news.

Doofie Cox's adolescent giggling in the background might be the funniest part.

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Just follow the song.

Let the music MOOOOOOOOVE you.

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Bump for lol