How To Make Love To A Woman
 

So this girl Ive been seeing for a while now is telling me she loves me and the next time she comes over (tomorrow night) she doesnt want me to **** her, she wants me to "make love to her". I haven't "made love" to someone in so long I don't think I remember how. Obviously it would come naturally if I was in love with her, but Im not so I need to fake this somehow. Any advice/tips would be appreciated.

first

This means you ask her first before you PIIHB.

from behind. No faking. just keep sayin "oh baby"

This thread is going to live up to CP Hall potential....


This should be comedy gold.

At first, I thought you said fist! ROFL Had to do a double take.

I want to watch. Who's got the best digital camera on this board ?

Nothing tells a woman "I Love You" like a Hot Carl. Trust me

Uhmmm......Try ****ing her gently?

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Do:

Lots of foreplay. Less "aggressive" penetration. Look her in the eyes. Lots of kissing. Lots of moaning.

Don't:

Grab her throat. Pull her hair. No spanking. No grunting.

just wanted to have the first post in a 1,000 post dogpile. :D

ROFLROFLROFL

Dang. I was going post that. :(

no Fun

Throw on some Barry White...then make sweet love to her down by the fireplace.

First question: Do you want to? Or do you just want to **** the shit outta her? Cause if you don't mant to 'make love' you won't... you will just be ****in'.

ps. thanks for another probable entry into the HOC, the lounge has been kinda boring today.

Quite simply she's gotta know the difference between like and love is spit or swallow. If she doesn't know that then there's no hope for making love and you'll be left with jackhammering her doo doo hole.

Whenever I'm with a woman I whisper softly into her ear, "touch my vagina," and she's like, "what!?" and I'm like, "that's what you're supposed to say."

She probably means she wants you to buy her some shit first.

You're probably right. He shouldn't buy her shit but he should let her climax for once.

Take off your dirty tube socks and act like you want to stay there for a while instead of hopping off her ass and leaving immediately.

Ask her lots of questions on what she wants (before you really get going and questions destroy her build towards orgasmth.)

Donger, not surprisingly, nailed this thread.
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FYP

I think she wants you to break up with her.

Ain't that the truth.

FFS download Tenacious D fuck her gently

ROFL

If you've got a better idea for getting out of post coital pillow talk then I'm all ears.

Some times you got to make some love, and ****in' give her some smooches too.

I think she wants you to film it, then post it on Chiefsplanet. Actually, im pretty positive that's what she wants.

Meh, she can do that herself manually while he's reaching for the towel.

Im a huge D fan, that was the first thing I thought of when she told me that. I dont know if I can keep it hard if I have to go slow and pretend I love her.

Melting candle wax on the clitoris usually works.

Normally I would agree, but this is love makin' we're talking about.

ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

That's exactly what you need to tell her. Honesty is what these women are always on about.

Just do everything all slow and dramatic ... think of some movie love scene type situation.

put some romantic type music on (not nine inch nails "i wanna **** you" or anything)

put you hands up to her face gently and then stare into her eyes. Then slowly kiss her cheek. give her a smile and then kiss her and hold it ... just hold you lips against hers for awhile.

remember ... slow and steady.

hug her, cuddle her a little BEFORE the deed.

stand up and then slowly pull your shirt off as you stare into her eyes then kneel down and lay your head in her lap. It will trigger her nurture instinct.

run your fingers through her hair and just play with it for awhile ... maybe lightly blow on the back of her neck.

kiss her closed eyelids


slow,dramatic and passionate ... movie style


no doggie style, no grunting and groaning and dripping sweat on her. No superman or donkey punch. ROFL

But still toss the wad on her face right?

Damn that sounds like a lot of work. How the hell am I supposed to get/stay hard through all that?

if you plan it out in your mind you will know that sex isn't coming for awhile so you won't get hard to begin with.

keep your pants on while you do stuff to start .... it shows that "laying pipe" isn't your first/only goal.

"incense, wine and candles.."

superfreaky..yaow

I think I better have a few drinks before she comes over. That should help me keep a straight face.

Yeah, you should dump her and find a girl who likes to ****.

depends on whether you ever want to jump her bones again or not.

if it's just a one time thing then just blow that junk, wipe it clean with her hair and leave.

Not if he's making love to her. I believe that calls for the between the breasts shot.

More close body contact. Move slower, relax, and candles don't hurt either.


EDit for CP absurd: By candles, I mean lit and on the nightstand. This is not to be confused with hot wax on the nipples.

Unless they're lit.

Seriously... just tell her that you are not in it for love and just want wet your willy. If she isn't down, find someone who is. Leading here down a road you aren't traveling is bad biz. Be a man-whore if that is what you want to do, but don't be a lying man-whore... that gives us all a bad rep.

Good idea. If you're lucky she'll mistake the slurring for sensuality. :D

I'd recommend ****ing.

i'm rick james biatch

rochambeau

ROFL Oh FFS!

i think it means not to drag that thing across her leg when you're climbing off.
sec

Correct. And refrain from yelling out: "HERE COME THE DEMONS!" while ejaculating.

Ah, the old snail trail.

I'm not sure that I've ever made love then. Nor am I all that certain that I would ever want to.

Shocking... no Wendler sighting yet. I'm amazed.

:)

on come on now ... you know that shit i was talking about would work on you.

ROFL

Scratch my previous post then. Turns out I have made love.

ROFL

dam, i just spit out my drink all over

Dude, if you do all that, yeah, you'll be making love. BUT you wont be having any fun yourself, and she'll expect it more because she'll know that you're capable of it.

Next thing you know, she'll never wanna ****, just "make love"

Just **** her like you normally do, make sure she cums this time, and then say, "I thought we were making love"

I prefer, "Fire in the hole!"

Candles. Chicks dig candles. Especially the ones that smell like something and aren't just for being able to see when the power goes out. And old birthday candles don't count.

Also, don't jizz on her boobs.

And remember the look of love.


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I actually really like her though and could see myself possibly falling in love with her some day...Im just not there yet.

With any bit of luck, she'll be more absorbent than a shamwow.

i'd recommend bondage while acting out a rape theme...

Prediction: Hall of Classics.

This has classic all over it.

No, he made love to it.

"I want to make love this time."

Read: Even though I've been telling you I've been getting off, I haven't.

No offense, but falling in love should come naturally. If you don't feel even a twinge of love for this girl at this stage of your relationship, it's highly doubtful that your love will be true in the future. But I suppose everyone is different. :shrug:

A little late for that advice. He's already been leading her down this road for months now. Not that it would matter, he wasn't interested in advice like this then either.

LMAO

Making love means "no condems please"

So in that regards, Be a Champion, and blow in her. Girls love to feel a nice fat wad being blown up in their gooey hole.

if you really want to hook that shit long term then just eat her out until she cums (at least twice) and then just cuddle and kiss her. She will eventually ask "what about you" and will try and return the favor or screw.

just say "Don't worry about me ... i just enjoy making you happy"

seriously ... if you can just lay there holding her with a hard dick and say that pleasing her is more important that getting your rocks off .... you are golden.


*please not that a beginner should probably "empty a chamber" before the date to help resist the urge to jam it inside her and pump it until you blow your load. fair warning.

That teaches girls how "not to return the favor"

Just the tip, just for a minute to see how it feels.

It just means she wants to snuggle afterwards while watching Greys Anatomy. She'd also prefer you stop wiping your dick on her curtains after the deed.

For further information and in-depth scenes, contact Roman Polanski.

You should have the place set with nice lighting... soft music, maybe some rose petals sprinkled about. Then, as she's lying there... reach to the side of the bed.

Hold up a banana, whipped cream... a dildo attached to a power drill, change the music to something loud and hardcore... then just smile.

Mr. Flopnuts has found that a genuine sounding "Oops!" will suffice in a pinch.

This can either work out really well or back fire horribly.