I searched for "Sex Toys" on Chiefsplanet and Broke the F***king Internet!
 

Vibrator, dildo, marital aids....Chiefsplanet search aggregate times out. (I got the off-white screen of perversion!)

Why did I search for fleshlariats, muffcrunchers and diddlesticks? Because I'm ready to take our (Wife & I) sexing to the next mother****ing level. After 20+ years, its time for kinky, fetishy, fantasy and tomfoolery.

I'm not starting this shit. She's bought some vibrators over the years and its become part of our regular liquor-fueled throw down.

So, tell me you bald, goateed, bloated short dicks....what's rocking your middle-aged sex acts of argression?

I'm prepared for a sophisticated, enlightened dialogue

Put it in her butt.

PIIHB

Damn

Also, convince her she is a bit bi-curious.

(((writing this down)))

Let her know you'll be there for support and help her take these first steps towards true happiness. The cameras are only for positive reinforcement and helpful suggestions in the future.

making her squirt!

Dayton Moore disapproves of this thread

this took you 20 years?

better late than never.

Not a chance in hell I divulge that info here.

have fun!

Bring in a closer to put out the fire.


I'll PM you my info

Don't get your wife accustomed to vaginal insertion sex toys. Avoid them IMO. Handcuffs, scented candles, rope, whips, spank paddles, chains, lingerie, ball-gags, positioning wedges, dog collars, and blindfolds are smarter ideas that won't impact your regular sex life. Kinky is about the vibe and role play rather than the toys themselves.

Yes I'm serious.

any reason why?

asking for a friend

Spoken like a true two and a halfer

Well, i'm a fully thick haired, bearded, big dick, handsome stud, so maybe i'm not who you're looking for an opinion from but I'll share anyway.

If you want her to continue to unlock her inner freak then you need to express to her how much of a freak weirdo you are, and how much it turns you on.

Once she becomes comfortable with the idea that her sexual perversions are nothing to be ashamed of and are welcomed, then she'll be able to freely slut out for you in bed.

Vibes are a good start. Don't be intimated by large dildos either. They're a tool in the tool kit. Build up that tool kit. Take your time. A good sex session will last an hour+.

She should be spent afterwards. Lube everywhere...turn that pussy to mush...and don't be afraid to take an intermission.

LMAO

Off to the Romper in 3...2...1

My guess is that she would rather get off with the toy than you meaning you will become obsolete in her sex joys.

I know a guy who has jammed a lot of sex toys into some pussies and he thinks this is an irrational fear

No No No this is good discussion the man needs advice.


Why make glorify the Romper Room then everyone will want to go there and not making it a punishment.

Is that how you got your obsession with black dicks?

Unless you're undersized in the pants it should be a non-issue. Women like real dick even if it's smaller than a dildo. Vibes are what women like anyway since it offers clit stimulation.

Yes, she is probably using her Vibe when you're at work. Get over it.

There's probably something to be said for a woman feeling pushed to her limits with larger objects. Don't ever let a woman say size doesn't matter. It absolutely matters to a degree.

You can't be rockin' 5" or less and seriously think she's having an optimal time. Sorry to whomever is reading this with a us....below average member.

That's been my experience as well not a problem for me.

I like using toys on girls saves on back pain later.

Says the cuck....

Nobody says you can't love black dicks Detox.


It's your deal. We ain't judging.

lord knows you've had enough "closers" in your bed.

Your mom prob did. Is that why you ran away as a teen?

Pretty sure he was talking to you. Shouldn't you be giving advice to Archie instead of following me around like an obsessed school girl?

I'm starting to feel like i should be signing my posts for you so you can hang them on your wall and fawn over them.

Its a public service



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For anyone who doesn't frequent D.C, i once told PB that his wife likes to take black dick while he sits and watches. He's been following me around crying about black dick ever since.

Must've really pushed a sensitive topic there....I have to be more careful. Sometimes my comments apparently hit too close to home.

Try not to be too hard on him. Cucks are people two. He was probably born that way.

Tell the truth - you were bringing it up with other posters too. To most of us, It's a strange obsession you have.



We aren't judging you bro. Just like we ain't judging anything advised to Archie Swim here.

Hey man, no disrespect for cucks out there. I'm happy for PB. He's doing what it takes to keep her happy. Ka'dos to him. Takes a helluva man to accept that you're not man enough to please your woman.

A "man" that likes to be called Prison Bitch, who spams the board with gay threads, gets irrationally angry about a black dick comment and recommends cucking in a sex thread...

I'm not a detective or anything....but damn. There's some serious projecting occurring here.

No, PB. I will not **** your wife. Now leave me alone please and stop sending me PM's. I already said No.

ROFL

Alright, i'd suggest we get back to the original topic.

It might help if you tell us what you've tried already. Be very descriptive. Just trying to help.

They still have 1 900 numbers


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But how are people suppose to lend advice on what to do w/o knowing what you've tried and disliked?

Bring some burst back into this thread after PB's attempted derailment!

Sybian

?

Not much I dislike. The only thing she tends to be apprehensive about is getting on top. She thinks she's too fat and she doesn't want me to see her. I love the position because I don't have to work so hard and and I get a big rack in my face. Without going into detail, I get the impression she likes to be...umm...stretched out a little.


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Good for her.

Do it.

Lots of lube and take your time. Lick her clit in the process. You must give the tongue action to keep her in the zone. Otherwise you'll probably hurt her.

....cut the lights.

or just a small candle.


...put on enigma or pink floyd.

If she's self conscious i'd imagine the lights are off quite frequently.

He should probably just accept that she doesn't like it and entertain the things she DOES like.

I just wish I could convince her that I love her body


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A sentiment shared by most husbands. Women are weird.

you can...and I believe you. she just needs to see/hear it.

emphasize it.. touch her everywhere.

affirmation during will take you leaps and bounds..

Or a vibrator on the clit of course.

Get her "The Celebrator." You can thank me later.

The market research project that I most regret losing was a request to conduct female sex toy research in Puerto Rico. The client decided not to do the project and it broke my heart. I would have done a really good job for them.

Googled it. Make sure no one confuses it with a battery operated tooth brush LMAO

I would think in a pinch you could make that work


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Man, there are some weird convos on here. Not saying the toy thing is weird, just people giving suggestions

LMAO

What's weird about sex?

We gotta help each other out. Women are sexual combination locks


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i'd advise taking her "shopping". Not sure what the adult store scene is like in Wichita Falls, but in San Diego they're everywhere.

I'd guess she'd be embarrassed at first, but if she can get over it i'm sure being in a sex themed store lined with objects for her orgasmic pleasure would certainly heighten the senses.

Never know, maybe she'll be comfortable enough to pick one off the wall herself.

It's pretty simple. Play a game that both of you enjoy (cards, board game, whatever) and make articles of clothing the stakes. Each round or hand you both put in an article of clothing. Winner takes both items. Or if you want to draw it out use two or three markers, players decide whether to use markers or articles of clothing each round. The loser is the person who runs out of markers and clothing first, winner gets to have their way with the loser. Make a lot of suggestive comments during the game and she'll throw it just to see what you'll do when you win. When you win go to the bedroom, dim the lights, tie her to the bed and use your only your hands on her until she has finished at least a couple of times, do it enough to get her to start tiring out. And then just keep going with whatever "moves" you have in your playbook. Make an evening of it. If you do it well she'll take it as a challenge to make this part of your regular routine and come up with her own ideas of what to do when she decides to win.

Ewww....old people sex.

get fukt?

Google it

you know what sux about being in your mid 40s? You can find women in their 40s and 50s attractive....along with 30 year olds and 20 year olds. Its freaking frustrating

I think she said she was into pegging. Enjoy.

Well, we do have plenty of dildos here on CP.

Plenty of varieties too.
Short, fat and knobby and no balls -Tiger
Long smooth and Skinny - Sandy
Big and black - Arrow

I bet Prison Bitch is loud when he cums

Ask TimModBone

Agreed, incorporate sex toys into your play. My woman loves them and she always wakes me when it's my turn.

male sex doll

https://s27.postimg.org/jczuovyyb/malesexdoll.jpg

CP at its finest... Prolly the only thread with no hate!

Bring home a hot young female escort and tell her you're doing for her! :D

Two in the pink one in the stink

Adderal and Oxycodone..

It will be the best sex she has ever had and she won't be able to help but drop your name anytime good sex comes up with he friends.

That is way outside of the limits of this forum...

BTDT:

Doesn't work out well in the long term, she has to have met them before!

I'm saving up for the attachment that's the size of Shaq's arm holding a basketball!! Was gonna order the John Wayne's arm holding a colt 45 but they sold out of it!

Hitachi magic wand. Get the cordless one. The only toy you'll ever need. Her legs will go numb. My wife was apprehensive at first because it is a bit intimidating. But now, it's the go to. Absolutely worth it.

Explain this one. Liquor & SSRI's has me lasting for hours