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Nick the Sickness: A choking sensation under stress. Symptoms include the sprouting of a cheezy moustache and irresistable desires to slap a ball boy.
Huardtardation: Dizzyness, wobbliness, desire to hide on a bench with a towel over one's head.
Elliosys: Advanced case of Nick the Sickness. Becomes a fatal condition in extremely cold weather.
Barnett's Disease: Mental condition where one feel overwhelming urge to flash a hotel maid.
Risonisis: Manifests in a compulsion to steal audio equipment, imitate imaginary superheroes and marry a pyromaniac.
Kendrell Bell Syndrome: Acute kleptomania, lack of remorse for outright theft.
Boomeritis: Also know as "Wingman's Disease." Accompanied by jaundice, linked to "second banana" yellowing.
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