Chiefs Chiefs Fan Diseases - Page 4

**The Franchise** · 02-26-2009, 04:55 PM

From a poster on WPI....who got it off of Arrowhead Addict.

Attention to Quarterback Deficit Disorder - This one is rather easy to define, and is classified by a chronic state of denial when it comes to quarterback being the undisputed most important position in the NFL. These victims will often state that you can’t have a quarterback until you have a dominant line, not realizing that a race car is just a worthless hunk of parts without a great driver behind the wheel.

Bob Gretz Syndrome - A cerebral state of rampant homerism that has spiraled out of control. Most of the time, the victim doesn’t even realize that the rose-colored glasses are permanently strapped to their face. While the enthusiasm is nice to see, the tangents of those struggling with BGS can get rather annoying.

Bradyomania - Typically associated with those in Chiefs Nation who are experiencing frequent hallucinations about the Chiefs finding a franchise quarterback in the seventh round, or even Tyler Thigpen turning out to be that guy. This is a harmless condition, but it can have quite an effect on one’s social status if these hallucinations become public, as the victim can become isolated.

(Aaron) Curry Fever - An obsessive-compulsive disorder that typically goes hand in hand with memory loss. Those with Curry Fever often forget that in the past 20 years only three linebackers have been selected in the top three — Kevin Hardy, LaVar Arrington and Quentin Coryatt. Somehow those stricken with Curry Fever fail to remember that all three of these players have to be considered draft busts. They refuse to realize that LBs who can’t rush the passer and are picked in the top five have not fared well. Curry Fever victims also like to compare Curry to pass rushers like Derrick Thomas (picked fourth in ‘89) and Lawrence Taylor (taken second a half-century ago), even though he’s not a pass rusher (9.5 sacks in four years of college). If when approached about this fact someone responds, “yeah, but this year is different,” seek clinical care for them immediately — they definitely have a strong case of Curry Fever.

Hermitis - A chemical imbalance in the brain that leads its victims to believe that NFL rebuilding efforts take 3-4 years, or as long as college rebuilding efforts. Hermaphobia was most recently disproved by the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins, all in 2008.

King Carl’s Disease - A deranged mental state where the victim becomes obsessed with bargain hunting and duct tape-repair jobs. Every move is made with the intent to stay over .500, fill the seats and muzzle Chiefs Nation and the media. Unfortunately, some Chiefs fans have become KGD victims themselves. Some phrases that are commonly associated with this mental condition: “free agency is a waste of money,” “build through the draft — not free agency” and “first-round quarterbacks are too risky.” Anxiety over any aggressive front office move — especially spending! — is a common symptom.

Martyballism - This is similar to dementia, but only with Chiefs football. Some Chiefs fans have the tendency to remember the Martyball era in a more favorable light than they should. These fans are typically the same ones who think a dominant defense and caretaker quarterback are the only path to the Super Bowl. How quickly they forget that the only year Martyball made the AFC Championship, the Chiefs were led to that game by Joe Montana.

Vermeilaphobia - This paranoid frame of mind is almost always found in those also dealing with a strong case of Martyballism. Those suffering with Vermielaphobia tend to think that great offenses cannot make or win Super Bowls, when history clearly proves that viewpoint wrong. These victims also think any team that focuses more on offense will always just completely ignore the defensive side of the ball. Possibly the most irrational affliction currently diagnosed among Chiefs fans. One theory is that victims just prefer “meat and potatoes” football, and would rather win ugly in low-scoring affairs than in shootouts. Most rational fans just want to win in the fashion best suited for their favorite team, whether it be with defense, offense or, preferably, both.

kcbubb · 02-27-2009, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

You know, I almost started a poll the other day (I came "this" close) on the subject of comparing Stafford and Sanchez to Cutler.

It would have been very helpful to me because I haven't seen much of Sanchez and very little of Stafford (I was far too occupied last year to watch college football). I have, however, seen a lot of Cutler.

Knowing how these guys compare to him would be extremely useful in terms of arm strength, accuracy, headiness, etc..

FAX

Stafford has Cutler's arm or maybe better. But he was not the player that Cutler was in college. I watched Cutler a lot and Stafford is not Cutler. But he does have that kind of ability. Cutler could throw off his back foot as well as any college QB that I have seen in a long time. I think Cutler was much more consistent than Stafford and also had better games against elite competition with less of a surrounding cast. Vandy only won 5 games his senior year.

Stafford seems to have the physical abilities or even better of Cutler, but is not as good as he was with his consistency and overall level of play.

**gblowfish** · 02-27-2009, 10:18 AM

Nick the Sickness: A choking sensation under stress. Symptoms include the sprouting of a cheezy moustache and irresistable desires to slap a ball boy.

Huardtardation: Dizzyness, wobbliness, desire to hide on a bench with a towel over one's head.

Elliosys: Advanced case of Nick the Sickness. Becomes a fatal condition in extremely cold weather.

Barnett's Disease: Mental condition where one feel overwhelming urge to flash a hotel maid.

Risonisis: Manifests in a compulsion to steal audio equipment, imitate imaginary superheroes and marry a pyromaniac.

Kendrell Bell Syndrome: Acute kleptomania, lack of remorse for outright theft.

Boomeritis: Also know as "Wingman's Disease." Accompanied by jaundice, linked to "second banana" yellowing.

02-26-2009, 04:55 PM
The Franchise Most Valuable Villain Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $2065047	Chiefs Fan Diseases From a poster on WPI....who got it off of Arrowhead Addict. Attention to Quarterback Deficit Disorder - This one is rather easy to define, and is classified by a chronic state of denial when it comes to quarterback being the undisputed most important position in the NFL. These victims will often state that you can’t have a quarterback until you have a dominant line, not realizing that a race car is just a worthless hunk of parts without a great driver behind the wheel. Bob Gretz Syndrome - A cerebral state of rampant homerism that has spiraled out of control. Most of the time, the victim doesn’t even realize that the rose-colored glasses are permanently strapped to their face. While the enthusiasm is nice to see, the tangents of those struggling with BGS can get rather annoying. Bradyomania - Typically associated with those in Chiefs Nation who are experiencing frequent hallucinations about the Chiefs finding a franchise quarterback in the seventh round, or even Tyler Thigpen turning out to be that guy. This is a harmless condition, but it can have quite an effect on one’s social status if these hallucinations become public, as the victim can become isolated. (Aaron) Curry Fever - An obsessive-compulsive disorder that typically goes hand in hand with memory loss. Those with Curry Fever often forget that in the past 20 years only three linebackers have been selected in the top three — Kevin Hardy, LaVar Arrington and Quentin Coryatt. Somehow those stricken with Curry Fever fail to remember that all three of these players have to be considered draft busts. They refuse to realize that LBs who can’t rush the passer and are picked in the top five have not fared well. Curry Fever victims also like to compare Curry to pass rushers like Derrick Thomas (picked fourth in ‘89) and Lawrence Taylor (taken second a half-century ago), even though he’s not a pass rusher (9.5 sacks in four years of college). If when approached about this fact someone responds, “yeah, but this year is different,” seek clinical care for them immediately — they definitely have a strong case of Curry Fever. Hermitis - A chemical imbalance in the brain that leads its victims to believe that NFL rebuilding efforts take 3-4 years, or as long as college rebuilding efforts. Hermaphobia was most recently disproved by the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins, all in 2008. King Carl’s Disease - A deranged mental state where the victim becomes obsessed with bargain hunting and duct tape-repair jobs. Every move is made with the intent to stay over .500, fill the seats and muzzle Chiefs Nation and the media. Unfortunately, some Chiefs fans have become KGD victims themselves. Some phrases that are commonly associated with this mental condition: “free agency is a waste of money,” “build through the draft — not free agency” and “first-round quarterbacks are too risky.” Anxiety over any aggressive front office move — especially spending! — is a common symptom. Martyballism - This is similar to dementia, but only with Chiefs football. Some Chiefs fans have the tendency to remember the Martyball era in a more favorable light than they should. These fans are typically the same ones who think a dominant defense and caretaker quarterback are the only path to the Super Bowl. How quickly they forget that the only year Martyball made the AFC Championship, the Chiefs were led to that game by Joe Montana. Vermeilaphobia - This paranoid frame of mind is almost always found in those also dealing with a strong case of Martyballism. Those suffering with Vermielaphobia tend to think that great offenses cannot make or win Super Bowls, when history clearly proves that viewpoint wrong. These victims also think any team that focuses more on offense will always just completely ignore the defensive side of the ball. Possibly the most irrational affliction currently diagnosed among Chiefs fans. One theory is that victims just prefer “meat and potatoes” football, and would rather win ugly in low-scoring affairs than in shootouts. Most rational fans just want to win in the fashion best suited for their favorite team, whether it be with defense, offense or, preferably, both.
Posts: 92,316

02-27-2009, 10:18 AM	#47
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $16886178 VARSITY	Nick the Sickness: A choking sensation under stress. Symptoms include the sprouting of a cheezy moustache and irresistable desires to slap a ball boy. Huardtardation: Dizzyness, wobbliness, desire to hide on a bench with a towel over one's head. Elliosys: Advanced case of Nick the Sickness. Becomes a fatal condition in extremely cold weather. Barnett's Disease: Mental condition where one feel overwhelming urge to flash a hotel maid. Risonisis: Manifests in a compulsion to steal audio equipment, imitate imaginary superheroes and marry a pyromaniac. Kendrell Bell Syndrome: Acute kleptomania, lack of remorse for outright theft. Boomeritis: Also know as "Wingman's Disease." Accompanied by jaundice, linked to "second banana" yellowing.
Posts: 41,016