Man Crush Alert: Wh!tlock sportin' the man love for New HC

[T-post Tom]

Now "man crush" may conjure some disturbing images when regarding J@son Wh!tlock and gravity. But in this case it's just pure man love. Remember, this is the writer that got in trouble for homosexual comments about Drew Bledsoe. Does this article expose some latent tendencies? Freudian issues?

Money, Looks, Brains guide Chiefs
By JASON WHITLOCK
The Kansas City Star

Ten years from now, let’s hope NFL Films does a documentary on MLB — Clark Hunt, Todd Haley and Scott Pioli — and how they resurrected the Chiefs franchise and brought championships to a starving fan base.

On paper, MLB is a home run, a long-awaited answer to multiple prayers, a blending of youthful, talented, single-minded energy capable of jolting this entire city.

We’ve experienced the Good, the Bad and the Ugly; ridden on Planes, Trains and Automobiles; laughed at the 3 St00ges; danced to Earth, Wind and Fire; celebrated Bird, McHale and Parish; and lusted after Charlie’s Angels, but we’ve never seen anything quite like this trio.

Hunt, Haley and Pioli form a unique sports bond — an owner, coach and general manager who are social peers, unproven commodities in their new roles, groomed by the best of the best and entrusted with a monumental task.

This is Berry Gordy’s son getting together with Elvis Presley’s daughter and Carlos Santana’s apprentice to make “We Are The World II.”

Sounds good on paper.

It looked good Friday afternoon when Clark “Money” Hunt, Todd “Looks” Haley and Scott “Brains” Pioli sat at a podium in the Hank Stram Theater and introduced themselves at a news conference.

Of course, we’d met Money, the 43-year-old owner of the Chiefs, and Brains, the 43-year-old general manager of the Chiefs. The news conference was to unveil Looks, the 41-year-old new lead singer/coach of the band. He’d just come off tour, finishing a set at the Super Bowl that nearly brought the house down.

Money and Brains busied themselves interviewing other potential lead singers while they waited for Looks to finish his gig with the Arizona Cardinals.

Was Haley worth the wait?

We won’t know for a couple of years. But Haley was certainly the guy Pioli wanted all along. The son of former Pittsburgh personnel guru Dick Haley, Todd has a resume as spotless as … well … Hunt’s and Pioli’s.

Haley’s dad taught him personnel. Bill Parcells taught him to coach. Ken Whisenhunt taught him to delegate. And somewhere along the way, Haley learned the art of confident humility because he unleashed a bunch of it Friday during his 45-minute news conference. Unlike the fiery, emotional offensive coordinator we’ve seen barking at Anquan Boldin, Kurt Warner and Terrell Owens, on Friday Haley was soft-spoken, understated and measured.

A kinder, gentler Bill Belichick, if there is such a thing.

Haley fits in with Hunt and Pioli. They can all swap stories about their legendary mentors. Clark’s dad’s name is on the AFC championship trophy. You know the Lamar Hunt story. Pioli was the right hand to the modern-day Vince Lombardi, New England’s Belichick, and Pioli’s father-in-law is the modern-day Parcells, Miami’s Bill Parcells.

Seriously, has anything looked this good on paper?

In two months, the Chiefs went from a franchise face of King Carl, Herm and Father Time to Money, Looks and Brains.

It’ll be a few more months before we figure out whether there’s substance behind the new, exciting Mount Chiefsmore. You don’t win football games with resumes, secret job searches or old ideas.

Hunt, Haley and Pioli are young enough to embrace the challenge of being innovators. They should put their own spin on what they’ve learned from their elders. That’s what will separate them from their competitors. That’s what will brand them as a new force in the NFL.

Putting this team — MLB — together was easy. It simply required a modicum of thought. You had to sweep out the staleness of Peterson with three fresh faces. Carl Peterson chose a distinguished, retread coach for 18 of his 20 years. Marty Schottenheimer, Dick Vermeil and Herm Edwards were safe choices, coaches guaranteed to make at least one playoff run.

Haley is a swing for the fences. Here’s hoping MLB is the right team.

[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by SportsRacer

MLB? I don't get it.

Am I missing something?

Money (Clark)
Looks (Haley)
Brains (Pioli)

or man licking bastard

[el borracho]

Wow. What a crappy article about nothing. That was terrible.

[MikeMaslowski]

He's racist, he never once mentioned Herms curly black short hairs, not once. I wish the rooney rule applied for journalism.

RETURN OF THA CRACKA CHIEFS
By JaVon Whitlock
The Kansas City Star

Ten years from now, let’s hope NFL Films does a documentary on MLB — Clark Hunt, Todd Haley and Scott Pioli — and how they de-integrated the Chiefs franchise and brought crackers to feed a starving fan base.

On paper, MLB is a home run, the Babe Ruth kind not the Jackie Robinson kind, a long-awaited answer to multiple prayers, a blending of white youthful, talented, single-minded energy capable of jolting this entire city.

We’ve experienced the Good, the Bad and the Ugly; ridden on segregated Planes, Trains and Automobiles; laughed at the 3 St00ges; danced to ZZ Top; celebrated Bird, Stockton and Keith Van Horn; and lusted after Charlie’s Angels, but we’ve never seen anything quite like this Caucasian trio.

This is Donald Trumps son getting together with Elvis Presley’s daughter and Yonnies apprentice to make “We Are The World II.”

Sounds good on paper.

It looked good on White Friday afternoon when Clark “Missing” Hunt, Todd “Likeable” Haley and Scott “Blackguy” Pioli sat at a podium in the Hank Stram Theater and introduced themselves at a news conference.

Was Haley white enough?

Haley fits in with Hunt and Pioli. They can all swap skin colors and no one would be able to tell the difference . Clark’s dad’s name is on the AFC championship trophy. And all American money has white people on it. You know the Lamar Hunt story. Pioli was the right hand to the modern-day Vince Lombardi, New England’s Belichick, and Pioli’s father-in-law is the modern-day Parcells, Miami’s Bill Parcells(A LOT of old white people move to Florida.)

Seriously, has anything looked this white on paper?

In two months, the Chiefs went from a franchise face of King Carl, Herm the Negro and Uncle Ben to Missing, Likeable Blackguy.

Hunt, Haley and Pioli are white enough to embrace the challenge of being innovators.

Putting this team — MLB — together was easy. It simply required a snowstorm of thought, just look at all the white flakes and you know it’s right! You had to sweep out the darkness of Peterson with three creamy faces. Haley is a swing for the fences front of the bus type of guy. Where is the Rooney Rule in all this?

[MikeMaslowski]

Uh oh, I almost have an immediate regret for posting that....

All- It is all stupid humor and please don't get pissed about it....

[Mecca]

I enjoy how he turned basically the 1 line of "the chiefs went from old to young in management and now have new ideas" and tried to get an entire column out of it.

[JuicesFlowing]

Originally Posted by T-post Tom

And somewhere along the way, Haley learned the art of confident humility because he unleashed a bunch of it Friday during his 45-minute news conference. Unlike the fiery, emotional offensive coordinator we’ve seen barking at Anquan Boldin, Kurt Warner and Terrell Owens, on Friday Haley was soft-spoken, understated and measured.

A kinder, gentler Bill Belichick, if there is such a thing.

Okay. It was a news conference. He's not exactly expected to be cheerleading, doing cartwheels, or screaming.

[JuicesFlowing]

MLB, The Three Amigos ... people are just itchin' to come up with the best moniker ...

[Deberg_1990]

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis

Money (Clark)
Looks (Haley)
Brains (Pioli)

or man licking bastard

Im confused? I thought Pioli had the looks?

[EyePod]

Originally Posted by FAX

Hmmm. I have the uneasy feeling that, recently, Whittles is getting his inspiration from a Vodka bottle.

FAX

LOL. Did he switch from rum to vodka or something? I've seen him write some pretty crazy shit a la Jeff George man loving stuff. BTW, if you type into google "whitlock jeff" it automatically is ready to fill in "george" after it with 100,000 results. That's how much of a man crush Whitlock has on George. So sorry FAX, but I think that Whitlock has been hitting the bottle for a while now.

[jAZ]

Latent issues aside, that is just a tortured article. Just terrible.

[Basileus777]

I'm officially disturbed.