Cyber Sex gone wrong (Mature Content) - Page 3

Coach · 04-30-2004, 06:52 AM

Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
**pause**
DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja:How did you know?
Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:What the f**k?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
DirtyKate:F**k

chiefs4me · 10-29-2004, 10:15 AM

well personally,,,,,I just don't see the thrill in cyber or phone sex,,,,the real thing is much better,,,,

The Rick · 10-29-2004, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saulbadguy

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

This might be the funniest thing I've ever read in my entire life.

**gblowfish** · 10-29-2004, 10:19 AM

If memory serves, there was some guy in Columbia who was called the "Pizza Rapist." He'd call in for carry out, take the pie to his bedroom and hump it. Then he sent his detailed story to Penthouse letters. I guess it was his disease-free solution to annonymous sex.

Yikes said Zippy...

**gblowfish** · 10-29-2004, 10:26 AM

In Britian, some grocery stores are carrying the pizza equivalent to Viagra.
Story is here:
http://tinyurl.com/7yoll

COchief · 10-29-2004, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saulbadguy

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

Words to live by

Demonpenz · 10-29-2004, 05:34 PM

Demon: Lets get this party started
15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: Alright
Demon:I am kissing down your neck
15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: That feels good i am grabbing your dick now
Demon: I like that, do me a favor call me Rich Scanlon
15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: alright rich i am stroking you
Demon: Keep going, can you give me an end around to dante?
15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: What?
Demon:nothing keep going, keep doubting me
15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: What???
Demon: Oh man Gunther blitz, tony G on the Tight end drag keep going, oh Jared Allen sack I am so hot i think i am going to explode
Demon:AHHHHH START PRINTING PLAYOFF TICKETS

(Demon plays rock and roll part 2)

15yearoldgirlwhoisreallyaman has logged off (Reason? Demons a sick ****)

**Rain Man** · 10-29-2004, 05:39 PM

Those excerpts are great. They're great reminders that the Internet is just like life, but typed.

Nightfyre · 10-29-2004, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Those excerpts are great. They're great reminders that the Internet is just like life, but typed.

1 out of 12 times you find that the girl you were going to bone is a guy?

**gblowfish** · 10-29-2004, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Hey Endelt, you sure you're not related to Herb Zipper, Cyber Lover??
http://www.herbzipper.com/

Jenny Gump · 10-29-2004, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saulbadguy

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

Right thar is a slice of genius pie.

cheeeefs · 10-30-2004, 03:41 AM

I am crying I am laughing so hard. the entire girl/boy monologue had me rolling. and the rhino bit was superb.

**KcMizzou** · 10-30-2004, 03:55 AM

Damn, I hate to piss on the parade, but haven't we done all this before?

tk13 · 10-30-2004, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

Damn, I hate to piss on the parade, but haven't we done all this before?

Post stuff like this or chat with random women on the internet and act like we're a rhinocerus?

04-30-2004, 06:52 AM
Coach Champs! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $5808476	Cyber Sex gone wrong (Mature Content) Bloodninja:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate:Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! Bloodninja:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. pause DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though pause DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja:How did you know? Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the fk? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of st DirtyKate:F**k
Posts: 53,221

10-29-2004, 10:15 AM	#31
chiefs4me Whatever.. Join Date: Sep 2004 Casino cash: $10004900	well personally,,,,,I just don't see the thrill in cyber or phone sex,,,,the real thing is much better,,,,
Posts: 9,512

10-29-2004, 10:19 AM	#33
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17606178 VARSITY	If memory serves, there was some guy in Columbia who was called the "Pizza Rapist." He'd call in for carry out, take the pie to his bedroom and hump it. Then he sent his detailed story to Penthouse letters. I guess it was his disease-free solution to annonymous sex. Yikes said Zippy...
Posts: 40,843

10-29-2004, 10:26 AM	#34
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17606178 VARSITY	In Britian, some grocery stores are carrying the pizza equivalent to Viagra. Story is here: http://tinyurl.com/7yoll
Posts: 40,843

10-29-2004, 05:34 PM	#36
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $2992136	Demon: Lets get this party started 15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: Alright Demon:I am kissing down your neck 15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: That feels good i am grabbing your dick now Demon: I like that, do me a favor call me Rich Scanlon 15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: alright rich i am stroking you Demon: Keep going, can you give me an end around to dante? 15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: What? Demon:nothing keep going, keep doubting me 15yearoldgirlthatisreallyadude: What??? Demon: Oh man Gunther blitz, tony G on the Tight end drag keep going, oh Jared Allen sack I am so hot i think i am going to explode Demon:AHHHHH START PRINTING PLAYOFF TICKETS (Demon plays rock and roll part 2) 15yearoldgirlwhoisreallyaman has logged off (Reason? Demons a sick ****) __________________
Posts: 54,294

10-29-2004, 05:39 PM	#37
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3078491 VARSITY	Those excerpts are great. They're great reminders that the Internet is just like life, but typed. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,621

10-30-2004, 03:41 AM	#41
cheeeefs Aishwarya Rai Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Baltimore Casino cash: $10004900	I am crying I am laughing so hard. the entire girl/boy monologue had me rolling. and the rhino bit was superb. __________________ "Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. Let's think about the logic. You create man, man suffers enormous amounts of pain, man dies. They say you rested on the seventh day, well maybe you should have spent that day on compassion."
Posts: 3,028

10-30-2004, 03:55 AM	#42
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170	Damn, I hate to piss on the parade, but haven't we done all this before?
Posts: 54,695