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Old 09-30-2016, 06:21 PM  
DenverChief DenverChief is offline
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Free legal advice.
A lawyer (L Scott Briscoe) decided to offer some funny free legal advice on his Facebook page. I submit some of the funnier bits.

Quote:
Free legal tip of the day #1. DO NOT post photos of yourself committing crimes A, B and C. They will become states exhibits 1, 2 and 3.
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Free legal tip of the day #2. Drinking ice water just before your drug test does not adequately explain why your urine sample is cold.
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Free legal tip of the day #8. Do not plan your next felony on the pay phone in the jail pod next to the sign that reads " All phone calls are monitored and recorded."
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Free Legal Tip of the Day #51. Your probation officer may take your more seriously if you say "My leg is not circulating and they may have to amputate," as opposed to "My leg ain't percolatin' and they may hafta laminate it."
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Free Legal Tip of the Day #47. "I had no idea that was there. I must have fallen on it . . . ". does not sufficiently explain to the judge how the plastic bag full of drugs ended up in your vagina. Neither does accusing the ER nurse of sticking it there during your examination.
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Free Legal Tip of the Day #39. In response to the question, "Do you think you could be the father?", "Yes" would be a more appropriate response than "Let me put it this way, that last night, I filled her plum full."
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Free Legal Tip of the Day #32. After stealing someone's debit card, do not use it to pay your home utilities, unless you wanted to give a deputy directions to your house.
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Free Legal Tip of the Day #23. When the judge asks where your daughter is, "She's in the ladies' room," would be a more appropriate response than ""She's poopin'."
And finally my absolute favorite (for creativity)

Quote:
Free Legal Tip of the Day #20. Men, when a woman asks you to send proof of your girth and length by holding your credit card next to it in the photo, it's not your pride and joy she's wanting to see. Major points for identity theft creativity.
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Old 09-30-2016, 06:24 PM   #2
Discuss Thrower Discuss Thrower is offline
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Old 09-30-2016, 06:38 PM   #3
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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Originally Posted by DenverChief View Post
And finally my absolute favorite (for creativity)

Quote:
Free Legal Tip of the Day #20. Men, when a woman asks you to send proof of your girth and length by holding your credit card next to it in the photo, it's not your pride and joy she's wanting to see. Major points for identity theft creativity.
That's how I stole KCNative's deodorant brand!!
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Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 09-30-2016, 07:26 PM   #4
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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I'm not a lawyer, but I have some pretty sound advice that appears rather timely:

If stopped or pulled over by a cop, stop. If said cop approaches you in a car, have your license, registration, and proof of insurance ready to give to said cop. Keep your hands on the steering wheel fully visible to the cop, until he asks for the previously stated items.

If you are not in a car, and a cop directs you to stop...you must stop. Keep your demeanor and manner courteous and friendly, even if the cop questions you or appears agitated. Keep your hands visible, and do not strike any threatening or menacing pose.

In all cases, be fully cooperative with the cop. If the confrontation takes a nasty turn, continue to cooperate and trust that if you follow the above guidelines...your lawyer will be able to secure justice for you, and you will likely receive generous compensation from the court system for your trouble.

Under no circumstances should you choose to commit suicide by cop, because it only makes you look stupid...and actually is counter-productive to the cause which your demented mind is hoping to further.

Thank you for your attention.
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Old 10-01-2016, 10:03 PM   #5
Mr. Kotter Mr. Kotter is offline
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DC....I thought it was a GREAT idea for a thread; surprised BL didn't jump in with lots and lots of stuff...
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Old 10-01-2016, 10:14 PM   #6
Baby Lee Baby Lee is offline
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DC....I thought it was a GREAT idea for a thread; surprised BL didn't jump in with lots and lots of stuff...
Too busy being a hyperbolic, pedantic, disingenuous, lying asshole transsexual.
Takes a lot of energy, and I've none to spare what with going off my transition meds and mood stabilizers.
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Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.Baby Lee is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 10-01-2016, 10:24 PM   #7
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Lee View Post
Too busy being a hyperbolic, pedantic, disingenuous, lying asshole transsexual.
Takes a lot of energy, and I've none to spare what with going off my transition meds and mood stabilizers.
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Old 10-01-2016, 10:32 PM   #8
Buzz Buzz is offline
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Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buzz is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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