Chiefs I wish Ben Niemann would leave forever

Cheater5 · 04-29-2021, 09:01 AM

Seriously, I do.

I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by him wearing #56 and soiling the legacy of Derrick Johnson. Maybe after three seasons I would have hoped he'd bulk up a little, and not get pushed around like a bitch by TEs, WRs, RBs and longsnappers. Maybe I’m being unfair (I'm not), or anti Iowa Hawkeye (nope).

The fun of inane threads is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the banality. Rich Scanlon is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how badly he sucked. He was a slow, white, unathletic linebacker that miraculously lasted four years in the league, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now Ben Niemann's time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that he should not return. It would not be enjoyable for him to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, because he sucks so badly and we don't care. It’s cruel enough that we have to watch his pasty undersized and slow ass trot out there on crucial third downs, wondering just wtf Spagnuolo sees in him. As long as he is released, no one will speculate about what became of him, nor wonder if the guy with the neck beard and music teacher arms behind the counter at the Lowe's Garden Center was the shittiest LB in Chiefs' history.

So really, there is no mystery. If this thread reaches 1,000 posts before patteu's, then you care more about the fate of a scrubby special teams guy / and suckass situational player than a member who's been here for 20 years.

(Sound of a feminine squeal as a Ben Niemann whiffs yet again on an open field tackle, or is out of position on a slant, or gets washed out filling a gap...)

04-29-2021, 09:01 AM	Topic Starter
Cheater5 Veteran Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Folly Beach, SC Casino cash: $4697550	I wish Ben Niemann would leave forever Seriously, I do. I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by him wearing #56 and soiling the legacy of Derrick Johnson. Maybe after three seasons I would have hoped he'd bulk up a little, and not get pushed around like a bitch by TEs, WRs, RBs and longsnappers. Maybe I’m being unfair (I'm not), or anti Iowa Hawkeye (nope). The fun of inane threads is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the banality. Rich Scanlon is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how badly he sucked. He was a slow, white, unathletic linebacker that miraculously lasted four years in the league, and with that act he became immortal. It is now Ben Niemann's time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that he should not return. It would not be enjoyable for him to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, because he sucks so badly and we don't care. It’s cruel enough that we have to watch his pasty undersized and slow ass trot out there on crucial third downs, wondering just wtf Spagnuolo sees in him. As long as he is released, no one will speculate about what became of him, nor wonder if the guy with the neck beard and music teacher arms behind the counter at the Lowe's Garden Center was the shittiest LB in Chiefs' history. So really, there is no mystery. If this thread reaches 1,000 posts before patteu's, then you care more about the fate of a scrubby special teams guy / and suckass situational player than a member who's been here for 20 years. (Sound of a feminine squeal as a Ben Niemann whiffs yet again on an open field tackle, or is out of position on a slant, or gets washed out filling a gap...)
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