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Old 10-11-2004, 04:47 AM  
Frankie Frankie is offline
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School Excuses, Arkansas style.
Sorry if you've seen these before. For those who haven't, these are supposedly real notes written to teachers, from parents, in an Arkansas school district. (Spellings have been left intact):


My son is under a doctor's care and should not take
P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
and I had her shot.

DearSchool: Please ekscuse John being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also the 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth
taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was
playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because
she has been bothered by
veryclose veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had
(diahre)(dyrea)(direathe) the shits. [Words were crossed out in the( )'s]

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He
had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irvingwas absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas
shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and
when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have
to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she
was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She
was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she has been sick and under
the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because
she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset
stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached
all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around, her father
even got hot last night.
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Old 10-11-2004, 04:57 AM   #2
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
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HA HA SUTHERNURS IS DUMN!!!
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Old 10-11-2004, 04:58 AM   #3
Abba-Dabba Abba-Dabba is offline
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I will never forget the day I recieved a sick call from another employee. Her gerbils were having the hershey squirts so she wouldn't be coming in that day. Let's just say she didn't make it another week.
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Old 10-11-2004, 04:58 AM   #4
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
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April 2000 jokes
... Sally won't be in school a week ... Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and ... ARKANSAS DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION. ...
http://www.members.tripod.com/HokusP...april2000.html - 101k - Cached - Similar pages
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Old 10-11-2004, 06:30 AM   #5
Crush Crush is offline
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Arkunsaw cun bi su stuped.
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Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Crush has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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Old 10-11-2004, 06:34 AM   #6
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
gangover.

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Quote:
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I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 10-11-2004, 06:45 AM   #7
DeepSouth DeepSouth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psicosis
HA HA SUTHERNURS IS DUMN!!!
I resemble that remark.
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