Dear Believer.

HMc · 01-29-2007, 09:20 PM

Dear Believer,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your threads, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, HMc.

chop · 01-29-2007, 09:22 PM

Thanks for sharing your ignorance with us.

milkman · 01-29-2007, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chop

Thanks for sharing your ignorance with us.

You haven't been around much lately, have you?

Simplex3 · 01-29-2007, 09:30 PM

trndobrd · 01-29-2007, 09:32 PM

not sure about the rest, but as to (i):

although a football is refered to as "pigskin" it is actually cowhide. The Chiefs receivers seem to err on the side of caution on that one.

Not sure about your "footie". Cowhide form red cows?

**BigRedChief** · 01-29-2007, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HMc

Dear Believer,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your threads, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, HMc.

Holy Shit. Thats the post of the year!

**KcMizzou** · 01-29-2007, 09:33 PM

That was awesome.

Eleazar · 01-29-2007, 09:33 PM

Well, funny, but this needed a new thread why?

kstater · 01-29-2007, 09:35 PM

This must have taken hours to put together. Best post I have seen in a long time.

HMc · 01-29-2007, 09:37 PM

while i'll take the credit for finding it and applying it, it aint mine, its been going round the net for years. I like it though.

booger · 01-29-2007, 09:39 PM

Sully · 01-29-2007, 09:41 PM

One of the better episodes of West Wing included this.

**BigRedChief** · 01-29-2007, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cochise

Well, funny, but this needed a new thread why?

shaadup he's on a roll.

**Manila-Chief** · 01-29-2007, 09:46 PM

HMc ... Very humorious ... well done!!! Your point is well made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DJay23 · 01-29-2007, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Holy Shit. Thats the post of the year!

I'll second that.

01-29-2007, 09:20 PM
HMc from the very deep south. Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia. Casino cash: $9944900	Dear Believer. Dear Believer, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your threads, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them. a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die? i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan, HMc.
Posts: 2,792

01-29-2007, 09:22 PM	#2
chop Go Chiefs! Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Michigan Casino cash: $2634270	Thanks for sharing your ignorance with us. __________________ Never be satisfied with what you achieve, because it all pales in comparison with what you are capable of doing in the future.
Posts: 2,946

01-29-2007, 09:30 PM	#4
Simplex3 MVP Join Date: Sep 2003 Casino cash: $10004900
Posts: 28,527

01-29-2007, 09:32 PM	#5
trndobrd 'Stachecicle Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: The Tolerance Box Casino cash: $4665087	not sure about the rest, but as to (i): although a football is refered to as "pigskin" it is actually cowhide. The Chiefs receivers seem to err on the side of caution on that one. Not sure about your "footie". Cowhide form red cows? __________________ "I don't really think there is a need to raise or debate this point." -jAZ
Posts: 7,086

01-29-2007, 09:33 PM	#7
KcMizzou Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Parkville MO Casino cash: $10005170	That was awesome.
Posts: 54,695

01-29-2007, 09:33 PM	#8
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	Well, funny, but this needed a new thread why?
Posts: 80,659

01-29-2007, 09:35 PM	#9
kstater Custom User Title Join Date: Jan 2007 Casino cash: $1516563	This must have taken hours to put together. Best post I have seen in a long time.
Posts: 39,190

01-29-2007, 09:37 PM	#10
HMc from the very deep south. Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia. Casino cash: $9944900	while i'll take the credit for finding it and applying it, it aint mine, its been going round the net for years. I like it though.
Posts: 2,792

01-29-2007, 09:39 PM	#11
booger Don't Tug on Superman's Cape Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: clear out in the sticks Casino cash: $1128550	rep __________________ 2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
Posts: 12,512

01-29-2007, 09:41 PM	#12
Sully It Goes On Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lees Summit Casino cash: $10026331	One of the better episodes of West Wing included this. __________________ "And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car." - Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 18,295

01-29-2007, 09:46 PM	#14
Manila-Chief Supporter Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Memphis/Miss Casino cash: $10006883	HMc ... Very humorious ... well done!!! Your point is well made!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posts: 2,152