Cronus/Simply Red 2008: Modern Energy Solutions (1)

[Portlantis]

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Portlantis, and under a Cronus administration I would head the department of energy.

As Americans buckle under the burden of ever-rising gas prices and fossil fuels become increasingly scarce, the time has come to invest in alternative sources of energy. Over the next few weeks, I will share with you, the people, the innovative solutions that Cronus will implement to end our energy crises.

In the United States nearly 70 percent of our energy is created from the burning of coal, natural gas, or petroleum. Cronus would work to phase out all power plants that burn fossil fuels in favor of power plants that burn marijuana.

Converting cannabis into energy is a complicated process, but our scientists are already working on a chamber in which burning marijuana is used to convert the water within into steam. Below is a preliminary design sketch for one of these chambers.



A marijuana power plant would contain thousands of these marijuana chambers, all of them manned by highly-trained marijuana technicians.



The steam from these chambers will turn massive turbines, which will generate enough energy to power tens of thousands of homes.

While other candidates may be paying lip service to marijuana legalization, only Cronus will make ganja a cornerstone of his energy policy. This is why a Cronus and Simply Red are right for America and right for you.

[Simply Red]

Excellent.

[btlook1]

Originally Posted by Simply Red

Excellent.

Excellent except for the pot heads cause there won't be any left to smoke it will all have to go in to making power.
Where are you going to grow all of this pot?

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by btlook1

Excellent except for the pot heads cause there won't be any left to smoke it will all have to go in to making power.
Where are you going to grow all of this pot?

I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. I'm sending you something.

[Portlantis]

Originally Posted by btlook1

Excellent except for the pot heads cause there won't be any left to smoke it will all have to go in to making power.
Where are you going to grow all of this pot?

Humboldt County, the remote woods of Oregon and Idaho, hell, even in the fair state of Missouri, which, according to this random blog, is the pot capitol of the midwest. In fact, our marijuana-based energy policy will create thousands of jobs for Missouri farmers.

This is just another way in which Cronus and Simply Red are looking out for you.

[Logical]

Excellent work Mr Portlantis. Just one of the ways a CRONUS/Simply Red administration will make drugs work for you.

[Buck]

[Hammock Parties]

You can see CRONUS makeshift bong in the sig, beneath the flame.

[Ultra Peanut]

What are your thoughts on plutonium?

For getting you high, I mean.

[Logical]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

What are your thoughts on plutonium?

For getting you high, I mean.

It would be the CRONUS/Simply Red opinion that we will allow the UP campaign staff snort anything they want as long as they pay the taxes.

[ChiefJustice]

Where are the particle accelerators for nOOb and troll atoms?

We could power the Planet for centuries with that technology.

Again,I see a lack of foresight in the investment of our future.

[Abba-Dabba]

Originally Posted by BuckinKaeding

I had one of these guys call me this past weekend. He asked what I could do for him. Absolutely Nothing. Click.

[chasedude]

I think Spicoli could be the plant manager

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by chasedude

I think Spicoli could be the plant manager

Of course he could.

[Simply Red]

.