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Old 03-16-2010, 06:23 PM  
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Demonpenz Selling a Bike?
http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/mcy/1645662880.html

Chuck Norris 03 Kawasaki 636 ZX6-R - $4800 (dallas)

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Date: 2010-03-15, 4:58PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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OK, let me start off by saying this Kawasaki ZX6-R is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a bike to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Kawi would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that sexy.

It was never intended to drive to the Galleria mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Bath & Body Works. No, that's what your vespa is for. If that's the kind of “bike” you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This sex-machine was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous, nancy-boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a realman doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 636cc engine to outrun the cops. It's got specialblood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit, and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Kawi also has 5 gears so if you're being chased by Taliban-terrorists, you can outrun them with a gun strapped to your back and shoot them at high-speed intervals. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the hottie you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. I also just put in a brand new stator to replace the malfunctioning one from The Man(ufacturers) that sucked.
My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $4,800 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me
you'll give me $2,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt?
Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 17,000 miles on this two-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. It is in pristine condition, not a scratch on this monster. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry yourname. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my homes, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a
price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Led Zeppelin.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah,
you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

shoot me a text if you fit the description of someone who can handle sex on wheels,
214 772 8577
ace


•Location: dallas
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:53 PM   #2
Fairplay Fairplay is offline
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Old 03-16-2010, 07:21 PM   #3
WhitiE WhitiE is offline
so close
 

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do you have to be from planet kickass to ride it?
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:57 AM   #4
Pasta Little Brioni Pasta Little Brioni is offline
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Originally Posted by WhitiE View Post
do you have to be from planet kickass to ride it?
The only person badass enough to ride that thing is Midnight Vulture.
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Old 03-17-2010, 09:02 AM   #5
Sofa King Sofa King is offline
Bump it
 
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I'll give him $2000 for it.
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Old 03-17-2010, 09:30 AM   #6
Dayze Dayze is offline
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I'll give him $2000 for it.
for $2000, you'd better show up wearing one of your Wolfe shirts.
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Old 03-17-2010, 09:45 AM   #7
Radar Chief Radar Chief is online now
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MC Hammer pants and a green 600 Ninja?
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Old 03-17-2010, 09:56 AM   #8
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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What a piece of crap!
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Old 03-17-2010, 10:03 AM   #9
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Old 03-17-2010, 11:26 AM   #10
Dayze Dayze is offline
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Originally Posted by Dave Lane View Post
What a piece of crap!
shhh!
you go typing stuff like that, he's bound to find out.
at that point, you're faced with only one option: A Roundhouse kick to the face.
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