survivorplanet Round 3 Entries

[KurtCobain]

This thread is for Survivor Planet's Round Three "guest Judges". Here they can view each entry without a name attached to it.

Each story was to be under 500 words, and was to depict Matt Cassel being cut by the Kansas City Chiefs.

Entry A

CHAPTER ONE

Dwayne Bowe and Tony Moeaki were having breakfast one morning. Moeaki leaned back in his chair and thought to himself.

"Dwayne and I could never be made, because we were drafted by the Chiefs. It didn't even matter that my college coach was Kirk Ferentz. To become a member of a crew, you have to be 100 percent drafted by the Patriots, so they can trace all your statistics back to New England."

"It's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and a crew. It means that nobody can **** around with you. It also means you can **** around with anyone just as long as they aren't also a member. It's like a license to throw interceptions, it's a license to do anything."

Moeaki drank his coffee and wondered where Matt Cassel was.

CHAPTER TWO

The car pulled into a garage. Matt Cassel, Scott Pioli and Mike Vrabel got out.

"Hey, how many years ago was it you was made?" Cassel said to Vrabel.

"Ah, I dunno, 10 years ago," replied Vrabel."

"Ten years ago, eh? Brings back a lot of memories huh?"

Vrabel smiled.

"And how."

CHAPTER THREE

Back at the diner, Bowe walked outside to use a payphone. Moeaki thought to himself.

"As far as Dwayne was concerned, with Cassel being made, it was like we were all being made. We would now have one of our own as a member.

CHAPTER FOUR

The door to an empty room opened. In walked Cassel, followed by Vrabel and Pioli. Cassel looked around, puzzled. He realized the room was empty, and his eyes widened in a moment of horror.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed.

Pioli pulled a pistol from his jacket and shot Cassel in the back of the head. Blood fountained from his temple and he slumped to the floor, dead.

CHAPTER FIVE

Bowe, outside at the diner payphone, picked up the receiver.

"Yeah, who's this?" Bowe asked.

"This is Pioli," replied the voice on the other end of the line.

"Pioli, what happened, did we get it straightened out?"

"Well, we had a problem, and we tried to do everything we could."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you know what I mean. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it."


Entry B

On 9/25/2011 at approximately 2330 hours, I officer CrazyCoffey, responded to a radio call for a domestic disturbance at the Cassel residence on 123 Drive, Lee Summit MO (formally the Cowher residence, that I hear they are interested in buying again for some reason). Upon arrival I met with the reporting party a Ms(?) Claythina Windfull who stated the following to me;

Ms(?) Windfull was called to this location on this date at approximately 2030 hours in response to a "escort" call. Upon arriving at this location she(?) met with the owner of the residence who call himself "princess". (He also requested that Ms(?) Windfull call him that for the remainder of the evening). Windfull was invited in and the evening was progressing well until the ESPN coverage mentioned something about the football games from earlier that day. Princess started getting upset and asked to see Windfull's goodies to cheer him up. When Windfull showed her(?) manliness, or hairy cock and balls, Princess got even more irate. Princess told her(?) to leave immediately, because he wasn't into "that junk". Windfull was confused because she(?) was told by her pimp that she(?) was exactly what Princess Matt needed. Windfull was also hurt that Princess Matt would act in such a manner rejecting her(?) sexuality, so she(?) screamed "Don't ****ing judge me, you ****ing Casshole!!!!" and grabbed a kitchen knife and threatened to cut Princess Matt. Princess Matt dodged the knife and punched Windfull right in the face, breaking her(?) nose into three bloody pieces. It was thought to be the best use of his right hand all year, but that was when Windfull called the police.

I then spoke to Princess Matt, who only told me he was disappointed in the game today, and called an escort service for some tender loving care. He didn't ask for a he/she but the pimp must have thought it was funny to send Windfull. He was surprised to find a twig and berries where a hatchet wound was supposed to be. Princess Matt thinks the pimp was probably mad about the game, and Matt said he could understand the frustration.

Most concerning to Princess Matt was that this was the second time he was told he was going to be cut in the same day...

[KurtCobain]

Entry C

Sunday, October 2, 2011

It was 3rd and 12. The Chiefs were down 10-7 with 1:34 to go in the game. Cassel was shaking off the latest hit he had just taken from Jared Allen. Deciding on the play, he thinks of a slant that might gain them 5 yards. They're in field goal range. Sure Succop had missed the previous two from 42 and 36, but surely he could make a 32 yarder.

Cassel calls the play, around comes Allen again, and the next thing he knows, Cassel comes to with the medical personnel surrounding him lifting him up onto the cart to be wheeled off. It turned out that he was knocked unconscious when his head hit the ground. It was very likely that he would be out the remainder of the season. The horror of this sunk in about the time he realized that the crowd was chanting something. Were they cheering? They were. They were cheering for Stanzi.

After Cassel was taken off of the field, the Chiefs were now 3rd and 7 after the offsides call on Jared Allen on the previous play. Stanzi, makes the call, throws the ball to Bowe who falls into the end zone. The Chiefs are able to hold off the Vikings to win the game 14-10.

Even though they won that game, the Chiefs would finish the year 1-15. The draft is soon. I wonder who they'll take with the first pick?

[Bugeater]

I THOUGHT WE HAD UNTIL 9:00!!!

[KurtCobain]

Entry D

It was a chilly morning in Kansas City and the Chiefs had just finished out the season. Cassel had just cleaned out his locker for the last time and was walking down the hall towards the exit. When suddently he heard footsteps behind him.

"Your and idiot!", screeched a voice.

Cassel, surprised by the voice, jumped to the side and dropped his grape Gatorade. The bottle crashed to the floor and in a swift motion, Cassel turned around.

"Hel.. hello?", stuttered Cassel.

A few seconds passed and no answer. Cassel shrugged, picked up his Gatorade, and proceeded towards the exit. As he gripped the door knob, a chill ran through him. He loosened his grip and backed away from the door. As he turned around, a group of men began laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?", he asked.

Complete silence came over the group and smiles turned to evil grins. Suddenly Cassel caught a whiff of antifreeze and shifted to his right to see an aids tree engulfed in flames in the middle of the floor. The group turned away and proceeded to laugh again. Cassel dropped to his knees and began sobbing like a little bitch.

The End.


-------------------------

Entry E

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, Matt Cassel was cut from the Chiefs and the people rejoiced.

The End

-----------------------
ENTRY F


It was quiet in the locker room at 1 Arrowhead Drive. Suddenly a noise broke the silence. “sob sniffle sob” Grabbing a flashlight the security guard slowly walked the aisles, swinging the light back and forth. “ANTIFREEZE!” a raspy voice cried followed by a scream that raised the hackles on the guard’s neck. Shivering, he continued through the locker room shining the light as he went. “NO NOT THE BURNING AIDS TREE!” The voice sounded more tortured than before with a touch of hysteria in it. Turning a corner the guard came upon a strange scene eerily lit by the flickering of his flashlight. Matt Cassel was surrounded by a group of people with computers, tablets and cell phones chanting “suck for Luck, suck for Luck, suck for Luck...” their faces glowing in the light from the various screens. “NO NO!” Cassel screams “I’m not as bad as I look, please please don’t cut me!” Cassel fell to his knees crying and shaking. BWAHAHAHAHA laughed the crowd, “you’re not just getting cut you’re getting cut AND pasted far, far from here.” There was a bright flash of light followed by a thunderous BOOM and the locker room was plunged into total darkness. The guard turned his light back on, the locker room was empty except for a number 7 jersey smoldering on the floor.

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

I THOUGHT WE HAD UNTIL 9:00!!!

We do have untill 9 OClock. I don't even have all my judges yet. Two bailed.

[KS Smitty]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

I THOUGHT WE HAD UNTIL 9:00!!!

Slacker.

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by KS Smitty

Slacker.

I'm going to bang something out at 8:55. I do my best work while under pressure.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

I'm going to bang something out at 8:55. I do my best work while under pressure.

I thought you were Sofa King.

[KurtCobain]

Our guest judges are Shogun and Phobia. Our third judge bailed out a couple of hours ago and I'm working on securing a new one.

[Ace Gunner]

k

[Bugeater]

Originally Posted by KurtCobain

Our guest judges are Shogun and Phobia. Our third judge bailed out a couple of hours ago and I'm working on securing a new one.

I think you should identify that person so we can vote them off the Planet.

[KurtCobain]

dont post that in here, edit your post and clean it

ENTRY G

former Chiefs QB Matt Cassel was found dead holding a jug of anti freeze in a burning aids tree this evening. It is being investigated as suicide with homicide overtones. Chiefs GM Scott Pioli had this to say "We only wish Matt the best, so we cut him after we heard the news. We decided we want to go a different direction".


It's been a long 3 seasons for QB Matt Cassel and the Chiefs. Cassel spent this 2012 off season training with Kurt Warner at his ranch in Cedar Rapids Ia. in hopes of sharpening his game, but after 6 weeks with one of america's most accurate passers, Cassel could not hit his passes to the broad side of Warner's barn. Chiefs head coach Todd Haley and former OC Charlie Weis even went up to Warner's midwest compound to continue grooming the former Tom Brady back up, to no avail. Today, he was cut from the Chiefs.

[KurtCobain]

Originally Posted by Bugeater

I think you should identify that person so we can vote them off the Planet.

They had to work.

[Bugeater]

Crap, I have writer's block.

[Ace Gunner]

I get that every time I write.