Life I am learning empathy for the homeless

Hydrae · 08-15-2024, 04:35 AM

I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face.

In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation.

I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years).

So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks.

I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line.

So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard.

Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.

Sassy Squatch · 08-15-2024, 04:48 AM

How big is the plot of land your house is on? Might not be the worst idea to try and find a nice used Travel Trailer to put on it and live out of to save you rent for the time being. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle relatively to run a 30 amp line to get some electricity.

Spott · 08-15-2024, 04:53 AM

Damn, it’s honestly pretty scary how close many of us are to being in the same situation. A couple of bad breaks at the wrong time can easily screw up everything you’ve worked your whole life for. I know you don’t want to, but is there any way you can stay at a room in the house you are leasing to your family? Or do something like Sassy Squatch said and maybe put a little camper in the back yard.

Hydrae · 08-15-2024, 05:44 AM

Well, sleep isn't happening so here is the anger that goes with the depression:

God damn mother ****er!

I have never taken unemployment in my life and I got all of $500 a week for 6 months and nothing more. Whee, that helped slow the bleeding for a short while. Of course, when I was laid off HR told me that they didn't care if I applied for unemployment right away. So, silly me, I did so. Well, the state went, oh you are still getting paid by your previous employer to you can reapply 2 months after that ends. Assholes all around.

And **** corporate America. Corporations are persons, my ass! At least with a person there is a chance for a little empathy. Oh no, it is all about the bottom line. The rich assholes don't give a shit as long as their investment grows. If that means that some people get screwed and left with nothing, it doesn't matter. We will just give them a pittance at best so we can virtue signal what nice, caring people we are. **** THAT!

And don't even get me started on the little bullshit like, smoking is evil. The entire apartment complex we moved into is no smoking. So, go stand out on the street corner so everyone can point and laugh (not literally of course). But hey, there is a park down the street but no smoking is allowed there either! Why don't you just get over with and make cigarettes illegal!

Along those lines, Oregon has legal pot. But I can't smoke on the apartment property and smoking pot in public is not legal. So, I can buy without worry but have nowhere I can actually partake! What the **** is up with that? Heaven forbid you are a tourist who would like to take advantage of the opportunity. So, what are they supposed to do, take it home with them? But taking it across state lines is a federal offence. How ****ed up can you get?

Did you know that every time you apply for a job online you have to set up an account. I have created hundreds of accounts during my searching. But stay safe online. Don't let yourself be exposed to inconvenient things like data breaches. Well, my ****ing data is all over the place just because I want a ****ing job. Sons of bitches! I have always been aware of the dangers and keep a pretty low profile online as a result. That is all shot to hell now and nothing to show for it either!

Wow, I thought this might help but it is not possible to rage properly in this format. I am a very non violent person but I want to hit something so badly. Over and over again!

I tried to put NSFW tags on this but have now learned that is for images only, not text. My apologies for language.

Hydrae · 08-15-2024, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy Squatch

How big is the plot of land your house is on? Might not be the worst idea to try and find a nice used Travel Trailer to put on it and live out of to save you rent for the time being. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle relatively to run a 30 amp line to get some electricity.

It's a third of an acre, so there is certainly room. A couple of problems though: no resources to get a trailer and I don't know that the city would give me a permit which I know would be required. Just because it is my property doesn't mean that the powers that be will let me do what I want on it. At least I don't have an HOA to deal with. That was a requirement for me when I bought the place.

Hydrae · 08-15-2024, 05:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spott

Damn, it’s honestly pretty scary how close many of us are to being in the same situation. A couple of bad breaks at the wrong time can easily screw up everything you’ve worked your whole life for. I know you don’t want to, but is there any way you can stay at a room in the house you are leasing to your family? Or do something like Sassy Squatch said and maybe put a little camper in the back yard.

I have been thinking about that too. Hell, we could sleep on the couch and will if it comes to that. The issue is the lease that I signed thinking I had a job coming. The only option that would leave would be bankruptcy. My credit has already taken a big hit during all of this. A bankruptcy would be the nail ending the rest of our dream as we would have a tough time at best to get another mortgage down the line.

scho63 · 08-15-2024, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sassy Squatch

How big is the plot of land your house is on? Might not be the worst idea to try and find a nice used Travel Trailer to put on it and live out of to save you rent for the time being. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle relatively to run a 30 amp line to get some electricity.

Very good recommendation.

DenverChief · 08-15-2024, 06:08 AM

Sent ya a DM

Sassy Squatch · 08-15-2024, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hydrae

It's a third of an acre, so there is certainly room. A couple of problems though: no resources to get a trailer and I don't know that the city would give me a permit which I know would be required. Just because it is my property doesn't mean that the powers that be will let me do what I want on it. At least I don't have an HOA to deal with. That was a requirement for me when I bought the place.

You have a big enough garage to fit one? Probably be better anyway for the winter.

Yeah, that lease situation ****ing sucks. How long do you have on it.

**ptlyon** · 08-15-2024, 06:17 AM

Very sorry for your predicament Hydrae.

Not that it helps, but the 1st thing you should do is quit smoking. Think of the money being burned there.

**ChiTown** · 08-15-2024, 06:58 AM

Check your rep, Hydrae.

**ptlyon** · 08-15-2024, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChiTown

Check your rep, Hydrae.

Same

Mosbonian · 08-15-2024, 07:18 AM

First of all....my thoughts are with you as your family goes through this struggle. There is no easy answer to how to fix this, especially in the economic times we are in.

I do want to say.....I think there is some ageism involved, and anyone who thinks not hasn't been thru hiring someone with your "Talent Acquisition" team lately. Yes, they want people who have the "ability" to grow professionally over the next 5 years, but then they will admit that in 5 years that person will probably not be at the company anymore. Gone are the days of looking at the work history of a candidate and seeing a long term opportunity and possible loyal and consistent associate.

I don't think I can add to any better answers than have already been presented. Have you looked at taking early retirement and drawing a lesser dollar on your Social Security to ensure a steady income stream no matter how small it may be?

**LoneWolf** · 08-15-2024, 07:19 AM

I have a lot of questions and if these questions come off as condescending, I apologize in advance.

1. Why did you move to one of the most expensive states in America before you had employment?

2. Does the lease agreement you signed allow you to sublease to someone so you can get out of there and move somewhere cheaper?

3. Does your wife have the ability to get a full-time job or is that conversation a non-starter?

4. I assume at your age and with you planning to retire at 67 that you have some investments built up. Any possibility that any of those are liquid enough to cash in without a major penalty to get you by unitl you find employment?

I'm really sorry you are going through all of this and I'm sure it seems like the whole world is against you right now. It sounds like you have family that cares about you. Don't be afraid to swallow your pride a little and ask for help.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

**wazu** · 08-15-2024, 07:20 AM

Really sorry to hear it, Hydrae. No easy answers. I hate that it's gotten so expensive to even rent a "cheap" apartment. Praying that you and your wife are able to find some situation that is workable.

08-15-2024, 04:35 AM
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or Casino cash: $-1153000	I am learning empathy for the homeless I don't even know how to start. Right now, it looks like my wife and I may be homeless next month. I was laid off from my job after 9 and a half years because the company decided to change the structure of their gold standard support team. That was a wonderful Monday morning last October. At least the one other time I was laid off it was because they moved their support team to India. That was at least kind of understandable. They also gave me a month's severance pay for each year I had worked for them (6 years). This time I got 2 months of severance for my 9.5 years of service. Given my previous experience, that felt like an additional slap to the face. In an attempt to keep our house, we have left it and leased it out to 2 of my children, a nephew, and a close friend of one of my sons. This is not a good time to try to sell and we were to the point where we weren't sure we could pay the mortgage. They are covering the mortgage plus about $1000. So technically we have some income and even own a house. That "income" is great, but it doesn't go very far and is far from covering the rent on the apartment we have rented. And without an income we can't even tap into the ~$250,000 of equity (monetary term, not social bullshit!). I suppose we could put it on the market but that would screw over the young people there now and I don't want to pass my trouble to the next generation. I have worked in tech support for the entirety of this century and that is only 4 jobs. I have never been a job hopper obviously. Since I was laid off last October, I have sent out hundreds of resumes. In that time, I have gotten less than 20 initial interviews and maybe 6 actual interviews. I even made it through the entire process a couple of times but obviously nothing has panned out. I will be 64 in a couple of weeks, and I have to wonder if part of the issue has been a form of ageism. At this point in my life, I am not excited to grow in a career. I just want to do awesome work, go home, and retire in a few years. Corporate America wants people who are looking to advance and better themselves. Of course, in a year or two that new hire will move on to the next opportunity while I would still be there consistent as always (as seen by 4 jobs in over 20 years). So we made the fateful decision to follow our dream. We had plans to move back "home" to Oregon this past spring. Losing my job put the kibosh on that. Well, in our attempt to keep the house until the Fed lowers interest rates and the housing market to heat back up a little, we have moved to Oregon. I have been working remote since before the pandemic so I should be able to work from anywhere. Of course, after the last 10 months finances are thin to be kind, so it was a bit of a leap of faith. We are here now on the Oregon coast, my wife has a part time job that she loves but doesn't pay much, and I am trying to find ANYTHING at this point. I thought I was going to get a retail job making a whopping $16.75 an hour (I was making $84k a year before the layoff) but got screwed up regarding the drug test and lost that opportunity. Sorry, I do not follow blind links in a text. They could have at least put a note in the text about what the link was for. Well, that was the order for me to go piss in a cup and it expired in 48 hours. I was under the impression that I was going to get an email and was waiting for them to finish a background check. This is considered the same as a failure, so I am out with no recourse. I do feel bad for the manager as she was desperate for someone and will likely have to cancel her vacation in a few weeks. I know a lot of this is just rambling, but it is how messed up my head is right now. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time. It is 3 AM as I type this. I have never had an issue with getting a job in my life and have never been out of work for more than a few weeks. Right now, not only do I not see a light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't even a sign of a train. It is just black, and I am stumbling along with no idea where I may be heading. This does lead me to saying thank you to Detox. I noted his signature line a couple days ago and sent him a rep because it buoyed me up. He responded with a wonderfully supportive note which, given my current emotional and mental state, made me cry. That was also the day before I learned that I had screwed up the potential job I had on the line. So, as the thread title states, I better understand how some of the homeless came to be that way through no fault of their own. I can tell you, the depression and desperation that I am going through does just functioning on a daily basis very hard. Sorry to dump on everyone's day. I had to try to get some of this crap out of my head. No replies necessary, I just thank Kyle for creating this wonderful community where I can vent. Now I am going to go cry again and maybe, hopefully, get some more sleep.
Posts: 14,858	8 0

08-15-2024, 04:48 AM	#2
Sassy Squatch The man you could post like. Join Date: Oct 2010 Casino cash: $-1410345	How big is the plot of land your house is on? Might not be the worst idea to try and find a nice used Travel Trailer to put on it and live out of to save you rent for the time being. Shouldn't be too much of a hassle relatively to run a 30 amp line to get some electricity.
Posts: 42,085	2 0

08-15-2024, 04:53 AM	#3
Spott Court Jester Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Orlando Casino cash: $-787600	Damn, it’s honestly pretty scary how close many of us are to being in the same situation. A couple of bad breaks at the wrong time can easily screw up everything you’ve worked your whole life for. I know you don’t want to, but is there any way you can stay at a room in the house you are leasing to your family? Or do something like Sassy Squatch said and maybe put a little camper in the back yard.
Posts: 20,695

08-15-2024, 05:44 AM	#4
Hydrae MVP Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Newport, Or Casino cash: $-1153000	Well, sleep isn't happening so here is the anger that goes with the depression: God damn mother **er! I have never taken unemployment in my life and I got all of $500 a week for 6 months and nothing more. Whee, that helped slow the bleeding for a short while. Of course, when I was laid off HR told me that they didn't care if I applied for unemployment right away. So, silly me, I did so. Well, the state went, oh you are still getting paid by your previous employer to you can reapply 2 months after that ends. Assholes all around. And corporate America. Corporations are persons, my ass! At least with a person there is a chance for a little empathy. Oh no, it is all about the bottom line. The rich assholes don't give a shit as long as their investment grows. If that means that some people get screwed and left with nothing, it doesn't matter. We will just give them a pittance at best so we can virtue signal what nice, caring people we are. THAT! And don't even get me started on the little bullshit like, smoking is evil. The entire apartment complex we moved into is no smoking. So, go stand out on the street corner so everyone can point and laugh (not literally of course). But hey, there is a park down the street but no smoking is allowed there either! Why don't you just get over with and make cigarettes illegal! Along those lines, Oregon has legal pot. But I can't smoke on the apartment property and smoking pot in public is not legal. So, I can buy without worry but have nowhere I can actually partake! What the is up with that? Heaven forbid you are a tourist who would like to take advantage of the opportunity. So, what are they supposed to do, take it home with them? But taking it across state lines is a federal offence. How ed up can you get? Did you know that every time you apply for a job online you have to set up an account. I have created hundreds of accounts during my searching. But stay safe online. Don't let yourself be exposed to inconvenient things like data breaches. Well, my ing data is all over the place just because I want a *ing job. Sons of bitches! I have always been aware of the dangers and keep a pretty low profile online as a result. That is all shot to hell now and nothing to show for it either! Wow, I thought this might help but it is not possible to rage properly in this format. I am a very non violent person but I want to hit something so badly. Over and over again! I tried to put NSFW tags on this but have now learned that is for images only, not text. My apologies for language. Last edited by Hydrae; 08-15-2024 at 05:52 AM..*
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08-15-2024, 06:08 AM	#8
DenverChief Pedantic Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Rocky Ford Casino cash: $3072617	Sent ya a DM
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08-15-2024, 06:17 AM	#10
ptlyon Bono & Grbac wasn't enough Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Sioux City, IA Casino cash: $9273829	Very sorry for your predicament Hydrae. Not that it helps, but the 1st thing you should do is quit smoking. Think of the money being burned there. __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Advertise here: $19.99 a month
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08-15-2024, 06:58 AM	#11
ChiTown Stroking to the SB Champs! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Flatlands of Kansas Casino cash: $-491038	Check your rep, Hydrae. __________________
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08-15-2024, 07:18 AM	#13
Mosbonian On Hiatus Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-1290300	First of all....my thoughts are with you as your family goes through this struggle. There is no easy answer to how to fix this, especially in the economic times we are in. I do want to say.....I think there is some ageism involved, and anyone who thinks not hasn't been thru hiring someone with your "Talent Acquisition" team lately. Yes, they want people who have the "ability" to grow professionally over the next 5 years, but then they will admit that in 5 years that person will probably not be at the company anymore. Gone are the days of looking at the work history of a candidate and seeing a long term opportunity and possible loyal and consistent associate. I don't think I can add to any better answers than have already been presented. Have you looked at taking early retirement and drawing a lesser dollar on your Social Security to ensure a steady income stream no matter how small it may be?
Posts: 12,427	2 0

08-15-2024, 07:19 AM	#14
LoneWolf Constable of Untruths Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $-918916	I have a lot of questions and if these questions come off as condescending, I apologize in advance. 1. Why did you move to one of the most expensive states in America before you had employment? 2. Does the lease agreement you signed allow you to sublease to someone so you can get out of there and move somewhere cheaper? 3. Does your wife have the ability to get a full-time job or is that conversation a non-starter? 4. I assume at your age and with you planning to retire at 67 that you have some investments built up. Any possibility that any of those are liquid enough to cash in without a major penalty to get you by unitl you find employment? I'm really sorry you are going through all of this and I'm sure it seems like the whole world is against you right now. It sounds like you have family that cares about you. Don't be afraid to swallow your pride a little and ask for help. Good luck. I wish you all the best.
Posts: 15,395	3 0

08-15-2024, 07:20 AM	#15
wazu ... Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $-1657705 VARSITY	Really sorry to hear it, Hydrae. No easy answers. I hate that it's gotten so expensive to even rent a "cheap" apartment. Praying that you and your wife are able to find some situation that is workable.
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