Late Night Bullshit: Terrence Copper

[RealSNR]

Direckshun hasn't been doing his job lately. So I'm taking over.

I want to talk about the very mountain of mediocrity himself: Terrence Copper. And rest assured I plan on bumping this thread as soon as the lockout ends and teams start to mix and match players, personnel, and finalize rosters.

These WRs are currently on the Chiefs roster:

Jonathan Baldwin
Dwayne Bowe
Chris Chambers
Terrence Copper
Keary Colbert
Jeremy Horne
Verran Tucker
Jerheme Urban
Chandler Williams
Josue Paul
Zeke Marschausen
Chris Manno

I think we all know there are only two for certain spots on this roster. So let's fill those out.

1. Dwayne Bowe
2. Jonathan Baldwin

That leaves at least three available spots left. For now, let's assume that Dexter McCluster will be listed as RB personnel (even though I know Haley doesn't care about that kind of shit; he just wants players; yadda yadda yadda). And let's just assume that Chandler Williams, Quinten Lawrence, and Jeremy Horne won't make it because they suck. Yes. I think that's a safe assumption. That leaves five guys competing for three spots.

Of those five WRs, you have Curtis who was a worthless playoff acquisition and didn't help us at all. Jerheme Urban is a Haley guy (supposedly, although just because he was around in Arizona doesn't mean he's golden). But the dude can't stay healthy. Missed all year with a nasty injury. And is he even that good? Can he recover and be the same mediocre self that he always was?

You have Chambers, Tucker, and Copper remaining. These three saw REAL action last year, and all of them had at least two games' experience at WR2. I know Chambers is the most experienced of the group, but drives Haley ****ing crazy. I think he might be a camp casualty if we pick some players up in free agency, but we'll see. Tucker's got the most promising future, and one would hope we'll see a fresh game from him. But who is the most VALUABLE of them all? The guy who was never inactive on gameday not due to injury?

Not Gold or Silver or Platinum or Nickel. It's Copper, bitches.

The way the roster sits right now he's a shoe-in for playing next year for the Chiefs, continuing to ace special teams and make fabulous one-handed catches during training camp and practices. Tucker's the next most valuable, followed by Chambers, who could be our WR3 or our WR5 depending if Haley got his coke fix. I still think he'll get cut, but I'll cut the guy a break.

But let's add a starter into the mix. Now you got
1. Bowe
2. Baldwin
3. Breaston/Smith/Bukkake/?????
4. COPPAH!
5. Tucker

But let's say Haley goes with 4 WRs and McCluster, who's really a flex player. Let's say he rounds out the roster that way. Well, we got 2 young starters, the FA and... well, sorry Verran. You're gone. You're not going to see the field in this lineup. Players gotta get snaps if they're going to play for the Chiefs.
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That's my logic. Why am I choosing to talk about this?

A. This happens every offseason. About 95% of the board hates Copper and thinks he's worthless, and they say he should do the team a service and swallow broken glass from a beaker holding AIDS-flavored antifreeze. The final training camp cuts start coming out, people are posting their proposed 53-man rosters, and all of them have reerunfarts and rookie free agent WRs who performed well in the 4th quarters of preseason games over Copper. Why do they do this? Because WHAT CAN IT HURT? COPPER SUCKS, LET'S PUT SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE AND MAYBE THEY WON'T SUCK SO BAD. I'll tell you why it hurts. Because those players ARE worse than Copper. A LOT worse. And guess who knows it? Todd ****ing Haley. He's got his mediocre man to lead on special teams, and when he needs a big, slow, target with good hands on gameday to come in and play WR4, he's got his man. Those other pieces of shit ****ing suck.

I remember Haley's first training camp. Copper was a fresh free agent with the team. Haley wasn't talking about shit except how well Copper was doing as a special teams gunner and as a former starting WR in training camp over Dwayne Bowe. In Haley language, that means, "This mutha****a's gonna be on the team, chumps. Get used to it." But what did all the 12 year old fans think? ASHLEY LELIE IS SO MUCH BETTER! HE'S GOING TO BEAT OUT COPPER FOR SURE. Guess again, losers.

B. I'm drunk right now and dying to talk some football besides the usual topics: When's the lockout gonna end? Who do you want in free agency? Check out what this stupid player said on this team that I don't give a **** about!

C. I like Copper. A lot. Why do I like Copper? Because you clowns all hate him. And for no good reason. He's not a great player at all, but for what we need out of that position, it's the best we can get. We don't want to go overpowered at ****ing WR4. It's a waste of talent and a waste of money. And that's what keeps me going about Terrence Copper.

Keep bashing him. I'll keep backing him, ****as