NFT ==> Uncomfortable Situation Help

bkkcoh · 03-23-2001, 10:21 AM

How is this for an uncomfortable situation?

My wife's ex-husbands step-mom died this week. The funeral is on Saturday and the wife is taking the kids to the funeral. Her ex-husband is one of those types who quit his good paying job in order to not to have to pay so he wouldn't have to pay so much in child support. He is only having to pay $107 for 3 kids a week, and at that he is over $2000 in arrearage. Our oldest son tried to get in touch with him around Christmas and wasn't able to. He has our phone number, but he hasn't tried to contact him either.

The wife doesn't want me to go to the funeral, but wants me up there? What do this sound like to you?? Good idea or bad.

JohninGpt · 03-23-2001, 10:53 AM

Sounds like your wife wants you to be there for her and the kids, but also wants to prevent you from knocking the snot out of the deadbeat.
Probably a good idea. No matter how irresponsible this bonehead is, it's not his stepmoms fault, and it's her funeral. Don't ruin the funeral. Wait outside, follow him home, and take the $2k out of his hide.

John
AKA-Ann Landers on crack

Mark M · 03-23-2001, 11:07 AM

Well, I don't support kicking the crap out of him (well, I kinda do. I pay my child support on time and loathe those that don't ... there is no excuse.) but I do agree with the rest of Johnin's post.

Support her and the kids. Tell the boy who tried to get a hold of him to talk to the loser and see what's up. You should probably remain in the background and be an attentive ear, nothing more, nothing less.

Just my 2¢. You're in a heckuva place and there are no easy anwers.

MM
~~AKA—Dear Abbey Post Bong Hit.

**ptlyon** · 03-23-2001, 11:17 AM

Both are correct my friend. Remember what the reason of a funeral is for. Nothing should be said, perhaps even from your wife about that subject there. Perhaps just one hint from your wife that legal action could be taken if needed.
As far as I`m concerned, the child support issue is none of your business and should be treated as so.

Good Luck and Condolances...

bkkcoh · 03-23-2001, 11:21 AM

Now, throw this monkey wrench in the works. What if the sob says something about his kids, I know they are his kids in name only. He hasn't had a darn thing to do with them for over 7 years..

BIG_DADDY · 03-23-2001, 11:25 AM

You should be there to support your wife and kids but it is unreasonable to expect you not to go in. It sounds like she is doing it out of respect for him when he shows her and the kids no respect. Your the one supporting and raising his KIDS when he obviously doesn't care. If she wants to go she should support you the same way you support her and their kids.

BIG DADDY

Would assure her you will put your differences aside for the day.

BIG_DADDY · 03-23-2001, 11:27 AM

bkkcoh,

If he is stupid enough to bring it up simply tell him this is not the place or time.

03-23-2001, 11:38 AM

There is a time and place for everything....a funeral isn't a place for confrontation.....I say go, support your kids and the wife..they both know who has and who hasn't been there...If he says something out of line, its better to "deal" with it when they aren't around to see it anyway...as far as the $$...$107 isn't enough to make much of a difference and shows the true color of the snakes belly...YELLOW.

Last summer I attended a wedding with a Girlfriend(ex now) and a guy who had date raped her sat 2 rows behind us...Every ounce of me wanted to jump the seat..but didn't...I had better opportunity a couple of weeks later to "let him know how i felt" about what he had done....that being said...It will be tough to sit still that day...and you'll probably chew a hole in your lip....but its for the best..

~I don't envy your situation.

JohninGpt · 03-23-2001, 11:53 AM

Mark M
I really don't advocate beating the guy up either. I do, however despise people who don't take responsibility for their children. Can we legalise caning?

BIG_DADDY · 03-23-2001, 11:54 AM

Iowanian,

You show more control than I would have. Not at the funeral but later. I think i would have pretended not to know anything and then when he least expected it, introduced him to the old Louisville Slugger.

BIG DADDY

Would have never seen me coming.

**ptlyon** · 03-23-2001, 11:56 AM

Brian, if he attempts to say something like that then you know (and I guess you already know) what kind of person he is. It is not the time or place to "discuss" it. If he were to say something like that, then say, "Yes, well Your kids are living with Me now", and drop it. Ignore him. You can beat him at his own game, just don`t stoop to his level.

Remember. You are there for your wife and her kids. Nothing more, nothing less, and forget the rest.

______________________

~~ Looking back and thinking Brian will be Alright...

Lightning Rod · 03-23-2001, 12:16 PM

There is a time and a place for everything. This is the time to take the moral high ground. In addition to that while I share your disdain for the actions and lack of responsibility shown by this man, it is important to keep a few things in mind. This is not some sort of party to honor him. It is to honor the deceased. Also many of the people in attendance have most likely been feed his version of the truth. Being a divorced father myself I have heard some real doozies.

03-23-2001, 01:07 PM

Bigdaddy,

maybe i should clarify that my expression of my feelings began with an overhand right...with not a word before...and "explained" it as we "went along"...I was on his home turf and alone, so it wasn't completely finished..but he completely understood my position on the issue...probably for several days.:mad:

seclark · 03-23-2001, 01:20 PM

iowa!!! you freaking sucker-punched the dude???

i hope he was right in the middle of taking a drink of his beer.
sec

03-23-2001, 01:25 PM

sec,

I wouldn't consider what I did a sucker punch...I drank a beer and worked my mad up...walked back where he and 2 guys were playing pool...walked straight in front of him looked him in the eye...and let the devil loose..so to speak.

...the ex came in during the ruckus...and I was in trouble for months...probably a good portion of the demise of that situation.

03-23-2001, 10:53 AM	#2
JohninGpt Dammit Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Busted Stick, IT Casino cash: $5248304	Sounds like your wife wants you to be there for her and the kids, but also wants to prevent you from knocking the snot out of the deadbeat. Probably a good idea. No matter how irresponsible this bonehead is, it's not his stepmoms fault, and it's her funeral. Don't ruin the funeral. Wait outside, follow him home, and take the $2k out of his hide. John AKA-Ann Landers on crack
Posts: 4,161

03-23-2001, 11:07 AM	#3
Mark M What time is it? Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: You tell me ... Casino cash: $9884900	Well, I don't support kicking the crap out of him (well, I kinda do. I pay my child support on time and loathe those that don't ... there is no excuse.) but I do agree with the rest of Johnin's post. Support her and the kids. Tell the boy who tried to get a hold of him to talk to the loser and see what's up. You should probably remain in the background and be an attentive ear, nothing more, nothing less. Just my 2¢. You're in a heckuva place and there are no easy anwers. MM ~~AKA—Dear Abbey Post Bong Hit. __________________ ChiefsPlanet -- n. The place where brilliant minds assemble to willfully pool ignorance with questionable logic in order to reach absurd conclusions.
Posts: 4,687

03-23-2001, 11:17 AM	#4
ptlyon Bono & Grbac wasn't enough Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Sioux City, IA Casino cash: $12693829	Both are correct my friend. Remember what the reason of a funeral is for. Nothing should be said, perhaps even from your wife about that subject there. Perhaps just one hint from your wife that legal action could be taken if needed. As far as I`m concerned, the child support issue is none of your business and should be treated as so. Good Luck and Condolances...
Posts: 34,074

03-23-2001, 11:21 AM	#5
bkkcoh MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lewis Center, Ohio USA Casino cash: $9805595	Now, throw this monkey wrench in the works. What if the sob says something about his kids, I know they are his kids in name only. He hasn't had a darn thing to do with them for over 7 years.. __________________ Brian K. Aspire to Inspire before you Expire
Posts: 5,506

03-23-2001, 11:25 AM	#6
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $4918410	You should be there to support your wife and kids but it is unreasonable to expect you not to go in. It sounds like she is doing it out of respect for him when he shows her and the kids no respect. Your the one supporting and raising his KIDS when he obviously doesn't care. If she wants to go she should support you the same way you support her and their kids. BIG DADDY Would assure her you will put your differences aside for the day. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,387

03-23-2001, 10:21 AM
bkkcoh MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Lewis Center, Ohio USA Casino cash: $9805595	How is this for an uncomfortable situation? My wife's ex-husbands step-mom died this week. The funeral is on Saturday and the wife is taking the kids to the funeral. Her ex-husband is one of those types who quit his good paying job in order to not to have to pay so he wouldn't have to pay so much in child support. He is only having to pay $107 for 3 kids a week, and at that he is over $2000 in arrearage. Our oldest son tried to get in touch with him around Christmas and wasn't able to. He has our phone number, but he hasn't tried to contact him either. The wife doesn't want me to go to the funeral, but wants me up there? What do this sound like to you?? Good idea or bad.
Posts: 5,506

03-23-2001, 11:27 AM	#7
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $4918410	bkkcoh, If he is stupid enough to bring it up simply tell him this is not the place or time. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,387

03-23-2001, 11:38 AM	#8
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	There is a time and place for everything....a funeral isn't a place for confrontation.....I say go, support your kids and the wife..they both know who has and who hasn't been there...If he says something out of line, its better to "deal" with it when they aren't around to see it anyway...as far as the $$...$107 isn't enough to make much of a difference and shows the true color of the snakes belly...YELLOW. Last summer I attended a wedding with a Girlfriend(ex now) and a guy who had date raped her sat 2 rows behind us...Every ounce of me wanted to jump the seat..but didn't...I had better opportunity a couple of weeks later to "let him know how i felt" about what he had done....that being said...It will be tough to sit still that day...and you'll probably chew a hole in your lip....but its for the best.. ~I don't envy your situation.
Posts: n/a

03-23-2001, 11:53 AM	#9
JohninGpt Dammit Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Busted Stick, IT Casino cash: $5248304	Mark M I really don't advocate beating the guy up either. I do, however despise people who don't take responsibility for their children. Can we legalise caning?
Posts: 4,161

03-23-2001, 11:54 AM	#10
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $4918410	Iowanian, You show more control than I would have. Not at the funeral but later. I think i would have pretended not to know anything and then when he least expected it, introduced him to the old Louisville Slugger. BIG DADDY Would have never seen me coming. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,387

03-23-2001, 11:56 AM	#11
ptlyon Bono & Grbac wasn't enough Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Sioux City, IA Casino cash: $12693829	Brian, if he attempts to say something like that then you know (and I guess you already know) what kind of person he is. It is not the time or place to "discuss" it. If he were to say something like that, then say, "Yes, well Your kids are living with Me now", and drop it. Ignore him. You can beat him at his own game, just don`t stoop to his level. Remember. You are there for your wife and her kids. Nothing more, nothing less, and forget the rest. ______________________ ~~ Looking back and thinking Brian will be Alright...
Posts: 34,074

03-23-2001, 12:16 PM	#12
Lightning Rod Need a new title Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Prairie Village Casino cash: $10004900	There is a time and a place for everything. This is the time to take the moral high ground. In addition to that while I share your disdain for the actions and lack of responsibility shown by this man, it is important to keep a few things in mind. This is not some sort of party to honor him. It is to honor the deceased. Also many of the people in attendance have most likely been feed his version of the truth. Being a divorced father myself I have heard some real doozies. __________________ Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
Posts: 1,151

03-23-2001, 01:07 PM	#13
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	Bigdaddy, maybe i should clarify that my expression of my feelings began with an overhand right...with not a word before...and "explained" it as we "went along"...I was on his home turf and alone, so it wasn't completely finished..but he completely understood my position on the issue...probably for several days.:mad:
Posts: n/a

03-23-2001, 01:20 PM	#14
seclark MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: nemo Casino cash: $1279900	iowa!!! you freaking sucker-punched the dude??? i hope he was right in the middle of taking a drink of his beer. sec
Posts: 13,406

03-23-2001, 01:25 PM	#15
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	sec, I wouldn't consider what I did a sucker punch...I drank a beer and worked my mad up...walked back where he and 2 guys were playing pool...walked straight in front of him looked him in the eye...and let the devil loose..so to speak. ...the ex came in during the ruckus...and I was in trouble for months...probably a good portion of the demise of that situation.
Posts: n/a