Adding to your living space

[Rain Man]

Hypothetical:

You're sitting in your living room watching reruns of M*A*S*H back when Colonel Blake was on, when you notice something disturbing. The outlet that the TV is plugged into has a white outlet cover on it. This is totally unacceptable. Every other outlet in the house is pale beige, not white. They don't match.

So you turn off the TV and drive to Home Depot, and after three hours of trying to find outlet covers, during which time eight Home Depot associates ran when you approached them to ask, you find a new pale beige outlet cover.

You walk to the front, get out your credit card, and observe that the self-check-out lines are all closed for no apparent reason. You get in line behind a guy with a whole bunch of big plywood sheets and a crying toddler, and say nothing as the toddler continually pushes the cart so that the plywood sheets hit you.

After ten minutes, they close the register for reasons unknown, and you switch lines to another register where a woman is writing a check for the purchase of two screws and a pack of Trident. After she writes the check (first recording in her register and balancing her checkbook), the cashier takes the check to customer service, which takes it to the assistant manager, who takes it to the manager, who you recognize as being the guy who always smoked marijuana behind the gym when the two of you were in high school. He looks at it to see if the woman has a non-minority-sounding American name and then checks it and gives it back to the assistant manager, who gives it back to customer service, who gives it back to the cashier, who puts it in her drawer.

At last, you step to the front of the counter. Suddenly, bells go off! Confetti and balloons and big pieces of plywood drop from the ceiling, and the corporate head of Home Depot and his gang of yes men descend upon you. As it turns out, you are Home Depot's one billionth dissatisfied customer!

As a grand prize for this distinction, Home Depot will add 150 square feet to your home. What new square footage do you add?

Rule: If you live in an apartment or condo, assume that you can still add this space. If you live with your parents, assume that you own the home and have had them put into a retirement village.

Rule: You have to take the 150 square feet in one chunk. You can't add 25 square feet to six rooms.

Rule: Don't think about resale. Think only about your own personal needs, wants, fears, hopes, dreams, aspirations, desperation, perspiration, and agitation.

Poll coming as soon as the manager approves it.