Anyone here have someone in their life who had Alzheimer's?

[pr_capone]

Just found out that my grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimer's last week. She is a proud woman and is stubbornly ignoring the issue and refuses to talk about it. We don't know how severe it is at this point nor how aggressive the disease is because she won't tell anyone.

Anyone here have someone go through this? Looking around on the net for info but I'd prefer firsthand accounts.

Any info is appreciated.

Thanks

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

Just found out that my grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimer's last week. She is a proud woman and is stubbornly ignoring the issue and refuses to talk about it. We don't know how severe it is at this point nor how aggressive the disease is because she won't tell anyone.

Anyone here have someone go through this? Looking around on the net for info but I'd prefer firsthand accounts.

Any info is appreciated.

Thanks

My Grandfather had it,got really sad at the end,one minute he knew who you were and the next he was back in the 1940's.

Just be there for them,talk to them and help them remember if at all possible.You won't regret it,good luck man.

[Jilly]

pr capone - I am so sorry to hear this. It really is not a good experience, but there is hope in it. My grandma died two years ago, but we struggled with the disease for 5 years before that. I know not every experience is the same, but my best advice to you is to go with the flow and laugh when you can. It sounds like she's in the beginning stages as of now since she is still aware of her ability to hide was is happening to her. That will continue for a while, then she will begin to get agitated and angry which manifests itself in so many ways. My grandma said words I didn't even know existed or that she knew and many times her anger was directed at my dad and I because we were closest to her. After that occurred, she drifted into funny, incoherent stories, and hilarious comments that made no sense. All we could do was laugh and enjoy her moment to moment. It wasn't my grandma, but still a human being, all the same. My regret has always been that I didn't spend more time with her those last few years because I was so uncomfortable with that. But I learned my lesson: At her funeral, all the nurses and caregivers from the home she stayed in came. They all came up to me and told me how much she had touched their lives and how much they loved her. Although she wasn't my grandma, she still had worth and meaning to the people around her. I wish I could have seen past myself to have enjoyed that.
It is a hard journey, but that's my best explanation for it - a journey, and through it all, loved ones have to remain flexible, realize that it is ALWAYS the disease that is talking and not the person inside, and continue to love no matter what the cost.

My prayers will be with you.

[Lumpy]

My g/m had alzheimers. One word of advice... u must stay patient. There will be times when strange things happen. For instance, my g/m grew up during the great depression and my mom was always finding food stowed away in her dresser. There were also a few occassions where my g/m thought that my dad, (her son), was her husband... that was interesting! My parents couldn't show any intimacy towards each other b/c my g/m would get pissed. Not to mention, my dad couldn't drink beer in front of her, so my mom would pour beer into a soda can. We just had to more or less adapt to my g/m's behavior.

[Jilly]

and my last advice, sorry.... never try to make them remember things or correct them, it's just a trigger for agitation and does no good for anyone involved. Just be in the moment no matter how silly it seems.

[mikeyis4dcats.]

Sorry to hear it pr...

My wife's granfather died last year after a short and ugly bout with Alzheimers. Within 18 months he went from lucid to off the charts. He knew no family most of the time, and had troubles with violence and other medical issues (incontinence, etc.).

His passing was a great relief to all involved including himself I am sad to say.

[seclark]

my grandmother...diagnosed w/it.
symptoms kind of like nzoner described, plus she became very paranoid. thought everyone was out to get her. it got so my mother couldn't handle her. the only one she trusted was me, and the only reason why, was our political beliefs. she signed papers making me her guardian. i sold her house, and brought her up from south missouri to kville. i had her checked in to a home for dementia related patients. she lived there for a year before she passed away.

she said she hated the place, but the fact was, it provided stable surroundings. she had her own private room w/her own tv and bathroom. she didn't admit it, but she was always ready to go back after spending time at our house, or after taking her out for supper.

i felt pretty shitty doing what i did, but i know it was for the best.

if you need any info, or want to talk, send me a pm.

it's a pos disease.
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[Fish]

My grandfather had it as well. It was a very difficult time for the whole family. Grandad was a very proud man, and it was really rough watching him go through it. It was a struggle for him. He got to the point that he tried to walk out to the pasture and kill himself. It was really difficult not letting him do that. He withered away slowly in a home, and got worse and worse till his mind was completely gone.

I hate the disease. I hate what it does to strong proud people. I hate that you can't fight it. All you can do is be there for them as much as you can.

Prayers to you and your family.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by seclark

my grandmother...diagnosed w/it.
symptoms kind of like nzoner described, plus she became very paranoid. thought everyone was out to get her. it got so my mother couldn't handle her. the only one she trusted was me, and the only reason why, was our political beliefs. she signed papers making me her guardian. i sold her house, and brought her up from south missouri to kville. i had her checked in to a home for dementia related patients. she lived there for a year before she passed away.

she said she hated the place, but the fact was, it provided stable surroundings. she had her own private room w/her own tv and bathroom. she didn't admit it, but she was always ready to go back after spending time at our house, or after taking her out for supper.

i felt pretty shitty doing what i did, but i know it was for the best.

if you need any info, or want to talk, send me a pm.

it's a pos disease.
sec

true. very true.

No matter how much one wants to, it's impossible to care for someone with Alzheimer's by yourself.

[pr_capone]

Thanks for the info.

She lives a long way away from me.. she still lives in Puerto Rico. As soon as school lets out we are heading down that way to go visit her. Hopefully it will not have advanced too much by then and I'll have one last good chat with her face to face before I lose her.

This sucks. I'm not ready for this. She is way too young (mid 60's) to die. Her mother lived to be 93... I was expecting that from her too. Hope we can give her her first great grandchild while she is still capable of knowing him/her.

[Nzoner]

Originally Posted by Jilly

and my last advice, sorry.... never try to make them remember things or correct them, it's just a trigger for agitation and does no good for anyone involved. Just be in the moment no matter how silly it seems.

Like you said it's different for everyone,we never scolded or tried to correct my grandfather but yet in a loving manner tried to help him remember when we could.We never experienced the agitation you describe.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by Nzoner

Like you said it's different for everyone,we never scolded or tried to correct my grandfather but yet in a loving manner tried to help him remember when we could.We never experienced the agitation you describe.

It is. I just know it made her so angry when we did that or forget even more. And one of the members of my church husband just died from it and she was constantly correcting him and it just pissed him off so much. I just wanted to tell her to stop because their lives at this point could be so much more peaceful if she just would have gone with it. As a result he died angry at her...which broke my heart and hers. But it is different with everyone, for sure.

[Jilly]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

Thanks for the info.

She lives a long way away from me.. she still lives in Puerto Rico. As soon as school lets out we are heading down that way to go visit her. Hopefully it will not have advanced too much by then and I'll have one last good chat with her face to face before I lose her.

This sucks. I'm not ready for this. She is way too young (mid 60's) to die. Her mother lived to be 93... I was expecting that from her too. Hope we can give her her first great grandchild while she is still capable of knowing him/her.

She could live for another 10-12 years....you never know. It's been my experience that people with ahlzeimers are pretty resilient. I now volunteer in a nursing home for people with the disease and it's amazing how long some of them have been sticking around with a pretty good quality of life.

[Nzoner]

Towards the end I spent a night alone with my grandfather in the hospital.He awoke around 3 a.m. and the tv was on a very old black and white comedy movie.I'll never forget how he was so tuned in at that moment,he was actually laughing at times and I remember thinking I wish I could know what he was thinking,seeing,etc.I believe it was of a time long gone and a much better place and that's what brought the smiles to his face.It is one of my greatest memories of he and I together before he passed.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Jilly

It is. I just know it made her so angry when we did that or forget even more. And one of the members of my church husband just died from it and she was constantly correcting him and it just pissed him off so much. I just wanted to tell her to stop because their lives at this point could be so much more peaceful if she just would have gone with it. As a result he died angry at her...which broke my heart and hers. But it is different with everyone, for sure.

granny and grampa were made for each other. crazy about each other. when he passed away, i didn't think she'd live for a year.

when the alzheimers kicked in, she started saying all these terrible things about him. stories, that i knew weren't true, and couldn't figure out where she was getting these thoughts. same w/my father, who passed away 3 years before she did. it tore me up to hear some of the things she'd say. all i could do was shake my head and try to change the subject to something better.

i'll always remember the morning in the hospital 2 days before she died. i walked in and a nurse was helping her w/something. granny told me that 2 men stayed w/her all night and took very good care of her. the nurse just looked at me and shook her head. she told me later, that no men were with her that night.

the next morning, i went back to see her and she said those 2 men were back last night taking care of her again. they talked to her, but she couldn't hear what they were saying. about 6 hours later, she passed.

i'd like to think those 2 men were my dad and grampa...who knows, but it makes it easier for me to remember those last few days.

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