Mr. Bob Dole Goes Fishing

[FAX]

Mr. Bob Dole Goes Fishing

By FAX

One day Bob Dole looked at his dish
At the knish upon his dish
And then a big wish Dole did wish;
"I wish I had a big fat fish."

"A big fat fish upon this dish;
It would go nice with this knish.
This knish and a fat fish
Would taste delicious on this dish."

So Bob Dole called his girlfriend Trish,
The one with tittahs quite auspish.
And perky, not what you'd call squished.
(For surreptitiously Dole wished
To watch those unsquished tittahs swish.)

"Let's catch a fish," Bob Dole asked Trish,
"I think a fish would be delish!"

And so their fishing garb they donned
And set upon to find a pond.
They sought the pond and made a bond
Dole and Trish the hottie blond.
(Whose tittah's Dole was very fond)

"Before they're gone, we might find prawns!"
Trish said before they had gone long
But at the pond, Dole did respond,
"I want a fish, not stupid prawns,
A prawn will make me yawn till dawn.

Instead, we'll find a fish that's spawned
And kick its ass like Robert Vaughn.
Let's take this boat beneath this frond
And paddle west and some beyond!"

Quite soon Bob Dole exclaimed, "Hey Trish!
Do you see that giant fish?"
"I see the fish, I see him swish!"
"I see he's plaid, that giant fish!"
Trish said, "I wish we'd catch that fish
And make that swishy fish our dish!"

"Goddam he's big," Bob Dole exclaimed,
"But all the same he is fair game
And be he wild, or be he tame
He's the reason that we came
I'll shame that big fish or my name
Is not Bob Dole, now watch my aim!"

And so Bob Dole prepared his pole
To catch the fish, that was his goal
The sole goal Dole had was to troll
And use his pole to get control
Of that great plaid fish, heart and soul
And catch the fish upon his pole.

When suddenly the fish saw Dole
Upon Dole it's droll eyes did roll
Dole saw the droll eyes black as coal
That fish, while peering up at Dole
Began to swim as on patrol
While leering, sneering up at Dole!

"What kind of shad stares like a crab?
A big plaid shad I think I'll nab
That drab shad now," Bob Dole was mad.
But just like the Impaler Vlad
Other plans this bad shad had
It flew directly for Dole's nads
Did the shad then take a stab
At Bob Dole's nads the shad did jab
And jab and jab, "Goddamn this fish!"
This vicious fish is freaking nuts!"

And then the fish that had such guts
Strutted like a rutting mutt
Upon his struts he strutted but
Then suddenly his chin did jut
And 'round the boat he made a cut
And rammed his nose up Trish's butt!

"That's it," cried Dole, "I'll jab this shad!
I'll stab and jab and make a scab
My nads are sore like a school grad's
But even though my nads are sad
This fish is bad - badder than bad!
And Goddam this drab shabby shad
I'll madly stab and jab and grab
This shad that made me pad my nads!"

And so it was that Bob Dole stabbed
And stabbed and jabbed and nabbed and dabbed
And grabbed and madly screamed a tad.

And each time Dole attacked the fish
The fish would badly stab his nads
He rabbed and cabbed like a mad gab
At Bob Dole's nads and abs and flab.

Into the night Dole fought that fish.
With angry nads that vicious fish.
Until at last with nads so gored
With effort poured, oh, thank the Lord
And with thoughts toward his just reward
Dole almost got the fish on board
But this attempt the shad did ward
Yes warded off and now restored
Into the night the fish he soared
The shad that Dole so now deplored!

"Goddam you fish." Bob Dole did roar,
"Come back you bitchin' fish, you whore
Do not ignore my hardcore roar
I'll smash you with this oar once more!"

But answered not the mystery fish.
The fish that might have been delish
And nutrish there on Bob Dole's dish.
Instead the vicious fish did swish
Away and blew a fishy kiss.

Until this day, Bob Dole and Trish
Curse the day they met that fish
Dole soaks his nads each night in brine
And Trish drinks Mogen David wine
And the fish Dole said, "Was mine!"
Upon that fish they'll never dine.

Remember this when you're propitious
And you want a meal delicious
Make sure you're not superstitious
One day you might find malicious
That fish that is so pernicious
And slammed Dole's nads repetitious.

FAX