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View Poll Results: Would you be ok with your wife being a surrogate?
Yes 9 18.00%
No 36 72.00%
Maybe 3 6.00%
Undecided 2 4.00%
Voters: 50. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-06-2020, 02:16 PM  
TripleThreat TripleThreat is offline
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Would you be ok with your wife being a surrogate?
My wife has talked about it a bit, ultimately it doesn't happen unless I'm on board which I appreciate having that amount of influence. However, if we were to go along with this, we would be paid around $100,000.

Some things to note:

It would be a gestational surrogacy.
The baby would not be related to my wife.
The people are in a sense friends of ours, better friends with her than I.
We do want to have at least 1 more kid of our own, maybe two and this would delay that.

The money would be a great addition to some things we want to accomplish, but the idea of my wife bringing another family's child into the world is a hard thing to wrap my head around.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:32 PM   #2
KCUnited KCUnited is offline
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Dollar per stretch mark for someone else's kid sounds a bit light for me personally.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:34 PM   #3
TLO TLO is offline
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$100,000? Is that number negotiable?

As you mentioned, this is a difficult thing to wrap my mind around.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:34 PM   #4
eDave eDave is offline
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The friends part might make things hard at some point.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:35 PM   #5
eDave eDave is offline
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$100,000? Is that number negotiable?

As you mentioned, this is a difficult thing to wrap my mind around.
A quick glance shows the average is $70K. Others quote $100k as normal. It's not all take-home money as it's intended to cover medical, legal, agency fees, etc.

https://www.westcoastsurrogacy.com/s...te-mother-cost
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:38 PM   #6
seclark seclark is offline
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So, are you on board?
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:44 PM
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:44 PM   #7
KS Smitty KS Smitty is offline
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You say the wife has talked about it a bit, how much is a bit?

My concern would be the fact that no pregnancies are the same and complications can arise that could prevent additional successful pregnancies, especially with your own family being incomplete. No amount of money can replace that.

That's a very selfless thing she wants to do. Kudos to her.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:46 PM   #8
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:52 PM   #9
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Are there conditions, besides the obvious no drus, smoking, alcohol, about diet, supplements, delivery method; natural, no epidural, midwife at home? Pregnancy has it's physical 'costs' through the whole process not just the delivery by the stork. And unfortunately there is the maternal death possibility, small but real. IMHO.
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Old 09-06-2020, 02:58 PM   #10
lewdog lewdog is offline
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I'm fine with it for that price.

Not sure my wife would be but it's not her choice!
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Old 09-06-2020, 03:02 PM   #11
smithandrew051 smithandrew051 is offline
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Postpartum depression is no joke. No amount of money (especially not $100K) is worth that.

It would be my wife’s decision obviously, but I would recommend that she decline.
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Old 09-06-2020, 03:03 PM   #12
TripleThreat TripleThreat is offline
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Originally Posted by KS Smitty View Post
You say the wife has talked about it a bit, how much is a bit?

My concern would be the fact that no pregnancies are the same and complications can arise that could prevent additional successful pregnancies, especially with your own family being incomplete. No amount of money can replace that.

That's a very selfless thing she wants to do. Kudos to her.
A bit as in, she would 100% be down if I say yes, but if I say no, it wouldn’t matter really at all.
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Old 09-06-2020, 03:04 PM   #13
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The friends part might make things hard at some point.
This. Never do "business" with friends or family. Especially when a child might be involved.
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Old 09-06-2020, 03:09 PM   #14
eDave eDave is offline
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I'm fine with it for that price.

Not sure my wife would be but it's not her choice!
Me! Me! Me!

And I totally didn't get a vasectomy 10 years ago.
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Old 09-06-2020, 03:21 PM   #15
TripleThreat TripleThreat is offline
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The friends part might make things hard at some point.
That’s kinda what I was thinking. Out of sight out of mind is no big deal. Hey it’s done here’s your baby have a great life...

But let’s say a few years down the road, we are hanging out with them for whatever reason and it gets brought up multiple times about how my wife carried the kid etc. I’m sure it would be different then than the idea of it is now, but still.

It’s one of those weird situations.... I’m sure I would become closer with them throughout the pregnancy than I am now, but down the road they would definitely be people that I wouldn’t really enjoy having around often, if at all. Again that’s the me talking, and not the 9 month from now talking where my attitude may or may not change
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