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Old 04-29-2021, 09:01 AM  
Cheater5 Cheater5 is offline
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I wish Ben Niemann would leave forever
Seriously, I do.


I know what you’re thinking. Maybe I got annoyed by him wearing #56 and soiling the legacy of Derrick Johnson. Maybe after three seasons I would have hoped he'd bulk up a little, and not get pushed around like a bitch by TEs, WRs, RBs and longsnappers. Maybe I’m being unfair (I'm not), or anti Iowa Hawkeye (nope).

The fun of inane threads is not in knowing the reason. It’s in not knowing, and the mystery behind the banality. Rich Scanlon is legendary not because he was here or because he left, but rather because of how badly he sucked. He was a slow, white, unathletic linebacker that miraculously lasted four years in the league, and with that act he became immortal.

It is now Ben Niemann's time to parachute from the plane, and I can assure you that he should not return. It would not be enjoyable for him to become an unsolved Chiefsplanet mystery in the process, because he sucks so badly and we don't care. It’s cruel enough that we have to watch his pasty undersized and slow ass trot out there on crucial third downs, wondering just wtf Spagnuolo sees in him. As long as he is released, no one will speculate about what became of him, nor wonder if the guy with the neck beard and music teacher arms behind the counter at the Lowe's Garden Center was the shittiest LB in Chiefs' history.

So really, there is no mystery. If this thread reaches 1,000 posts before patteu's, then you care more about the fate of a scrubby special teams guy / and suckass situational player than a member who's been here for 20 years.


(Sound of a feminine squeal as a Ben Niemann whiffs yet again on an open field tackle, or is out of position on a slant, or gets washed out filling a gap...)
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:03 AM   #2
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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His brother is in this draft. Prepare yourself.
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:06 AM   #3
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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His brother is in this draft. Prepare thy anus.
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:21 AM   #4
Dunerdr Dunerdr is offline
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NICK NIEMAN PICK 58 OF THE NFL DRAFT.
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Old 04-29-2021, 09:29 AM   #5
lewdog lewdog is offline
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My most hated Chief of the past few years.

Honestly, have we cut this piece of shit yet?!?!
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Old 04-29-2021, 10:49 AM   #6
Flying High D Flying High D is offline
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Bring him in for a look?
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Old 04-29-2021, 10:56 AM   #7
Marco Polo Marco Polo is offline
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The hated fascination of this player on this board truly astounds me. Without his sack, we may not have won the Super Bowl. And he wasn't the cause for us losing this last one. Is he an All Pro? Absolutely not. Is he killing us in the cap like others have? Absolutely not. You need to channel your bizarre anger on this player elsewhere.
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Old 04-29-2021, 11:17 AM   #8
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The hated fascination of this player on this board truly astounds me. Without his sack, we may not have won the Super Bowl. And he wasn't the cause for us losing this last one. Is he an All Pro? Absolutely not. Is he killing us in the cap like others have? Absolutely not. You need to channel your bizarre anger on this player elsewhere.
We all just really really hate Iowa players. That’s all.
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Old 04-29-2021, 01:43 PM   #9
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Old 04-29-2021, 01:44 PM   #10
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Old 04-29-2021, 01:47 PM   #11
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Get ready for the Niemann brothers to ransack your butthole for the next 4 years on special teams for the chiefs
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Old 04-29-2021, 03:04 PM   #12
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And on his way out he can fall on/take out Andrew Wylie.
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Old 04-29-2021, 03:08 PM   #13
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Get ready for the Niemann brothers to ransack your butthole for the next 4 years on special teams for the chiefs
SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH! Don't say that ever!
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Old 04-29-2021, 03:51 PM   #14
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Old 04-29-2021, 03:55 PM   #15
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That was a nice clean hit too didn't lead with his helmet that would have been flagged ++
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