FAX And The Lonely Australian Girl

[FAX]

At 1:00 pm, this upcoming Sunday, I am attending a gathering of the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX's entire family. In and of itself, this is not particularly unusual. It is a close family and we get together fairly often for dinners and lunches and the occasional weekend crazy blowout featuring water skiing, martinis, and live bluegrass music. However, the reason for this weekend's event is somewhat unusual.

One of my brothers-in-law has been communicating via the internet thing with a girl from Australia. Apparently, they have texted or whatever they have done with each other and exchanged photographs. Now, this girl is flying to the United States of America in order to spend "time" with the brother-in-law and he is throwing a party for the purpose of introducing this person to his family.

I need some help. First off, I don't know a whole heck of a lot about Australia. I googled up some stuff then brushed my teeth and did an internet search. What I found is that it is a country on the other side of the Earth with kangaroos and strange indigenous persons who (in antiquity) used long spears to kill lizards and protect their cave paintings from aliens.

Second off, this party has every potential to be extremely awkward and I am taking it upon myself to do whatever is necessary (within reason, of course) to make this Australian person feel comfortable so that her relationship with my brother-in-law will flourish. Or, failing that, at least avoid the possibility that she run screaming into the streets.

Any ideas as to how to best impress a girl from Australia who has flown thousands of miles in pursuit of love? All contributions would be appreciated.

FAX THE SOMEWHAT CONCERNED

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

[Hammock Parties]

FAX, you are a wonderful human being.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by GoChiefs

FAX, you are a wonderful human being.

Thank you.

FAX THE STILL SOMEWHAT CONCERNED THOUGH

[Hammock Parties]

Australian girls like to party. I have known two Australian girls, from different generations, and they were both party animals.

Get her liqoured up.

[Sofa King]

Originally Posted by GoChiefs

Australian girls like to party. I have known two Australian girls, from different generations, and they were both party animals.

Get her liqoured up.

actually, this ^...

any girls i've met from Aussieland have been big time partiers...

[FAX]

Excellent advice, Mr. GoChiefs. Most excellent.

I seem to recall that they like beer in Australia. I wonder if they prefer warm, dark beer like the Europeans or if they like cold, light beer like the American peoples? Do they drink hard liquor, as well? Wine?

FAX

[pikesome]

My, somewhat limited, experiences with the Australians is they are some of the coolest people in the world. Less bland than a Canadian and without the large stick in the arse of the British.

I don't know the age of this girl but one of the things that concerns me personally is the Aussie gov restrictions on "mature" video games. They even go so far as to strip some of the blood and violence out of games like Left 4 Dead. If she likes to game maybe that sort of thing would be up her alley, would depend on the person though.

[Oz_Chief]

Originally Posted by FAX

Excellent advice, Mr. GoChiefs. Most excellent.

I seem to recall that they like beer in Australia. I wonder if they prefer warm, dark beer like the Europeans or if they like cold, light beer like the American peoples? Do they drink hard liquor, as well? Wine?

FAX

They make a lot of good wine down there. She might prefer it. But generally they like cold lager.

Foster's is practically nonexistent but a good conversation starter, i.e. "Do you like Foster's?"

[Oz_Chief]

I think you should start by focusing on food and drink. Introduce her to your style of BBQ.

Aussie grills are different than ours. They always have a hot metal slab, like a kitchen would use to cook eggs on. Sausages (they call them snaggers or snags) are big down there. Why not offer her some sausage (let the jokes fly) from here?

Ask her if she brought any Tim Tams.

Chocolate is always good. They get a lot of Cadbury's down there. Why not offer her a Hershey's or something.

Ask her if she has ever tried a bud light.

The earlier post was correct: Aussies are typically well-travelled and much more globally aware than we are. You can probably have an entertaining and informed conversation with her about immigration, sport, and health care.

I gotta go to work. Good luck!

[SnakeXJones]

Paul Hogan and Rugby is all i can come up with when i think australia

[FAX]

Rugby. Not a bad idea.

We're having this gathering at a home with a large, flat back lawn. Normally, we play croquet. Maybe I should bring a rugby ball. I think I can find one. She'll probably know the rules.

FAX

[FAX]

Do they wear grass skirts in Australia? The reason I ask is that it can get pretty humid around here.

FAX

[FAX]

I'm thinking about barbecuing some shrimp, maybe. I think Australian girls like barbecued shrimp.

FAX

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by FAX

I'm thinking about barbecuing some shrimp, maybe. I think Australian girls like barbecued shrimp.

FAX

I don't know if they like barbecued shrimp, but if you have shrimp make sure you put it on a barbie. I hear they like that.

[Tylerthigpen!1!]

Alf