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Old 03-16-2014, 07:44 AM   Topic Starter
Buck Buck is offline
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I can't stop farting and can't go poop.
What should I do? Please help me. I've got a girl laying asleep next to me that I want to lay some pipe to when she wakes up, but the room is going to smell like fart city when she awakens.

How do I stop farting?
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:45 AM   #2
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 10:48 AM   #3
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beano
This.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:46 AM   #4
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I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.
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confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:48 AM   #5
Buck Buck is offline
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I used to Chris Benoit (a fart that is silent but deadly) around my ex all the time. Embarrassed, when she asked me if that smell was flatulence, I instead blamed it on my lack of testicle hygiene (I didn't fart babe, it's my balls!) Turns out she was a lesbian.

I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:51 AM   #6
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I usually never fart because of my self imposed dietary restrictions, but yesterday I ate 2 medium pizzas and a burrito and now I can't stop and for some reason there's no pooping happening either.
I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.
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confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.confused < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 03-16-2014, 08:26 AM   #7
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I go to Buffalo Wild Wings every Thursday for boneless wings, usually leading to about 26 parmesan and garlic wings. Needless to say, my car driving home smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement.
Exactly how do you know it smells like John Wayne Gacy's basement?
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:46 AM   #8
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:51 AM   #9
George Liquor George Liquor is offline
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:57 AM   #10
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Wait, they hijacked the international sign/signal for yummy!!!

Those bastards!
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Old 03-16-2014, 09:01 AM   #11
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There yo have it. The cure all.
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Old 03-16-2014, 09:02 AM   #12
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There yo have it. The cure all.
I'm not sure how having her do that is going to help him, but hey medicine isn't always easy to understand.
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Old 03-16-2014, 09:39 AM   #13
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Mr douchebag why did you change your name from mr tomahawk?
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Old 03-16-2014, 10:28 AM   #14
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Mr douchebag why did you change your name from mr tomahawk?
I didn't.

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Old 03-16-2014, 11:10 AM   #15
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I didn't.

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