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Topic Starter |
a haw haw haw
Join Date: Jan 2004
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Thread of Raider jokes and funny pics etc.
We've got the smaque thread,the memory thread,the predictions so why not this.
I've found a decent raider hater site or two but know there are more and thought it would be fun to have a collection thread of raider pics and jokes of our own. Also,does anyone remember the article about the raider fan base and the comparison to the cult and gang status written by the New England author prior to their AFC Championship game.If you have a link and or a copy of the story please post it here. |
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#2 |
a haw haw haw
Join Date: Jan 2004
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Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second Surgeon says, “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third Surgeon says, “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded.” The fourth Surgeon says, “I prefer Raiders fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.”
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#3 |
Better than Nelson
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we've all seen it but it's still funny....
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#4 |
Has a particular set of skills
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What do you call a sheep tied to a lampost in Oakland?
A Recreation Center.
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#5 |
a haw haw haw
Join Date: Jan 2004
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This is a fav of mine
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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. |
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#6 |
Has a particular set of skills
Join Date: Dec 2003
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courtsey of NYChiefsfan:
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Mahomes is not a game manager. Release the Kraken. |
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#7 |
a haw haw haw
Join Date: Jan 2004
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Although I have yet to find the article I mentioned in the opening post I did find this one from last month about Raider fan that's worth a read.
August 19, 2005 A Season in the Balance by Dave Sabo HoustonProFootball.com For most fans, this weekend’s slate of NFL exhibition games is an opportunity to get back in the swing of an NFL season. Most fans will use it to scope out prime tailgating spots, take that new barbeque sauce recipe for a spin, find out what their neighbors in their section have been up to over the past six months and guess which trucking company that 6th-string tackle will be driving for come September. Most fans. But, for one group of fans, this Saturday is serious. Deadly serious. They’ve been seething all off-season, waiting. Waiting for their chance at redemption. Waiting to exact their revenge. I’m referring, of course, to the spiked and armor-clad buffoons in Oakland. Judging from the internet chatter and e-mail response to a column about last season’s complete and utter dismantling of Oakland’s floundering pack of wanna-be thugs, the dress-up queens from the wrong side of the bay have built Saturday’s meaningless scrimmage into their Super Bowl. While last year’s Raider debacle and the column it spawned came in early October, it apparently took the painted dolts 8 months to find somebody to sound out the big words for them and begin whining on the official site, sending incomprehensible e-mails and furiously circling “August 20” on their calendars. Boy, are they mad! At the time, I thought the Texans dominating victory was a result of exposing their over-rated run defense and the fact that their average age was 51.6-years old. Nope. Turns out that it was all because Rich Gannon got hurt. Had Gannon started, Texans third-string RB, Jonathan Wells, wouldn’t have posted his first 100-yard rushing game ever and the Texans wouldn’t have rolled up nearly 400 yards on offense. Yeah, I don’t know how that works out either, but at that point, they were on a roll and frothing at the keyboard. Hey, to their credit, having a geriatric with a fractured neck at quarterback IS a better option than running out a drunken quitter like Kerry Collins. So, having covered how, if only the now retired (and drawing Social Security) Gannon had started, they’d have won; they started in with the Super Bowls and the overall record and the “Commitment to Excellence”. Well, the last Super Bowl win was last century and their last appearance was an equally embarrassing beatdown due to the fact that their head coach failed to realize that Tampa was coached by a guy who would probably have a pretty good idea what play was going to be run unless he changed the terminology. Which he failed to do. To remedy the situation, Oakland hired a marshmallow-soft milquetoast to replace him. While the overall record is impressive, the Raiders record after their first three seasons stood at 9 and 33; one-hundred and nineteen percentage points worse than the Texans mark of 16 and 32. Their record since the Texans joined the NFL? All of 4 games better than Houston. “Commitment to Excellence” my ass. The capper to all their blathering was the one genius who decided to lay down the “who’s gonna be laughing when the Texans move to LA?” smack. First of all, the Texans can sell out their stadium every week while that pit the Raiders play in features vast expanses of empty green seats on Sunday (speaking of which, does anybody know what the hell the name of that dump is? It gets renamed every season it seems). And, second, is it really a good idea to play the “moving to LA” card when your team…ALREADY MOVED TO LA?! C’mon, THINK, McFly! Hopefully, this sort of lame attitude towards an exhibition game is limited to the Raiders ignorant fans. Surely, the players aren’t attaching any significance to this contest. That would be too pathetic for words. Like any other team, I imagine they’d just like to get the first team some reps and evaluate the depth. Foremost on everyone’s mind should be avoiding injury (much to the dismay of the denizens of the black hole). With those thoughts in mind, maybe it’d be best if Dom pulled the starters early as he did last week and give the once-mighty-but-now-pitiful Silver and Black a shot at a “W”. For a bunch of rubes in Oakland, it appears that this meaningless game against the Texans is all they’ve got.
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#8 |
MVP
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I love faider week.
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#9 |
Tried it on and it fit
Join Date: Aug 2000
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I don't think this what you are looking for Joe, but I'll post it anyway...
2/4/03 - I have really gotten tired of "Raider Nation" and all the unwarranted homage that it is paid by seemingly responsible folks in the media. The team and the team ownership and the city fathers in Oakland and the fans in Oakland have become far more than merely tedious. This is probably not an expression of an East Coast bias because I suspect that lots of other people on the West Coast got tired of all of these entities a while ago but it took time for the stink to percolate over here to the DC area. Where to start? The team is a mess. The reactions of several players to the Barret Robbins situation go way beyond "insensitive" and approach "monstrous". If this is how the words "teammate" and "camaraderie" and "commitment to excellence" manifest themselves in "Raider behavior", then I would not want to see Frank Middleton and/or Mo Collins act out "anti-social boorishness". Even after it has become privacy-invadingly-clear that Barret Robbins is a man in need of medical help (and not in any small measure!) these two comrades-in-arms have yet to say that their previous remarks were wrong-headed, hastily concocted, hurtful and in desperate need of retraction. Additionally, some words along the lines of "Sorry 'bout that…" would be something that socialized bipeds might consider. Since you haven't heard them yet, you make the call… [To be fair, defensive tackle Sam Adams did say yesterday that he was sorry that Robbins was sick and that he wished Robbins well and that he would welcome Robbins back on the Raiders' team.] After the Raiders' "roll-over-in-a-fetal-position performance" in the Super Bowl, you might think that some of the team would be glad to learn that the city wanted to stage a rally in honor of the team. They had a very good season but the most polite thing you could say about their performance in the Super Bowl was that they stunk out the joint and made it smell like a skunk's butt. Nonetheless, the city wanted to throw a rally to honor them. Granted, it was not going to be as huge a throng as it might have been had they won the game or actually made it a competitive struggle, but it was a rally in honor of the team. Who showed up? No players did; no coaches did; none of the front office did; none of the owners did. The Oakland Raiders as a team and as an organization and as human beings stiffed their fans. Why would that surprise anyone? Remember that the Raiders got about 11,500 tickets to the Super Bowl and only made about 2,000 of them available to their season ticket holders. That not only stiffs the fans of Oakland; that stiffs the people who pay good money to come out and see the Raiders. The tickets in Oakland are far from the cheapest in the league and there is a long-term purchase commitment that goes along with the honor of getting season tickets. These people dig deeply into their pockets for this team, and the team turns around and stiffs the fans that are part of that great and wonderful institution revered as "Raider Nation". For too long a time, "Raider Nation" has been the US version of English soccer hooliganism. Passion in supporting a team is one thing; "Raider Nation" is far closer to thuggery. And don't be conned by the media's suggestion that these fans are unswerving in their support for and dedication to the Raiders. The Super Bowl was supposed to be a "Raider Home Game". If you taped the game, go back and play the tape but instead of watching the plays, listen for "Raider Nation" once they were down by 14 points. Instead of exhorting the team, that pack of poseurs and front-runners shut their noiseholes just like every other set of fans. Like the Raiders' team, this group is living on reputation. The reputation that the Raiders are living on is at least 20 years old. Since returning to Oakland from LA (was that in 1995?), they have not had stellar teams. In fact, some of them have been pretty bad teams. So maybe you feel sorry for the fans that are paying premium money to see a mediocre product while some poorly dressed superannuated guy with a mullet and sunglasses on a chain swears that "commitment to excellence" is driving the decisions and that the only thing on his mind is "Just win, baby." Add to the mixture here the fact that once a good team had been assembled under the tutelage of a coach who actually knew what he was doing, Al Davis ran the coach out of town and put another $8M in the bank. Of course I do feel sorry for the fans who have to put up with Al Davis. Remember I grew up in Philly and had to endure owners like Jerry Wolman, Leonard Tose and Norman Braman; I know what sorry-assed and incompetent ownership can do to a team and its fans from first hand experience. But the sorrow for the fans of Oakland can't stay with me for very long. After the beloved Raiders were so inept in the Super Bowl that you would swear that they could not get jobs as firing squad targets, these fans went out and rioted in the city. This was to celebrate what? Certainly not the team's performance. Was this to honor the admission of "Raider Nation" to the UMN – the United Moronic Nations? Some of these civic-minded geniuses had to be subdued with rubber bullets because they looted buildings and set fire to things such as police cars and fire department vehicles. In one way, it is good to see the rioting and looting and burning after a Raider loss, it shows that the Oakland fans are equal opportunity boors. The city fathers of Oakland and the ownership - as represented by Al Davis -are not without guilt here too. Davis conned these geniuses into a deal whereby they gave him one of those "guaranteed sellout" leases – such as the one the Chargers have in San Diego – and it is costing the city serious money. In addition, the city has other costs associated with its deal to get the Raiders back in town and the annual output from city coffers is estimated in various places to be in the range of $10-20M per year. I have not been to Oakland in about 16 years so this next observation is dated and could no longer be valid. But I doubt it. Oakland is not a city that looks like it has such huge budget surpluses every year that it takes the City Council months to figure how to bestow these riches on deserving people and projects. Oakland looked to me like a marginally upscale version of Newark NJ; got the picture? So Al Davis fleeced the city fathers; and you might think that is the reason that Al did not show up at the rally. Even he might be embarrassed; can you actually gag a maggot? As Johnny Carson often said to Ed McMahon, "Wrong, buffalo breath!" In the midst of all this, Al Davis is suing the city of Oakland asking for $1.3 billion (not a typo) because the city fathers "deceived him" when they promised him sellouts or the revenue equivalent. Think about that; they deceived him out of $1.3 billion? Did he misunderstand and think he was getting the deed to the city and not merely the ceremonial keys to the city? Who's to blame for all this nonsense? Everyone gets a richly deserved splash of the blame-goo because no sector here seems to be sufficiently oppressed that it comes close to justifying is horrid behavior. But add the national sports media to the list of folks who deserve some censure here. Instead of being a bunch of jock-sniffing sycophants, they might try to stand up on their hind legs and call these folks what their actions show them to be: The team has lots of prima donnas who think their uninformed opinions matter to others and who think they never have to say they are sorry. And boy, are they ever sorry! The ownership is sufficiently devious that you can't call it two-faced. It has more faces than a clock factory. The city fathers can choose between being portrayed as "gullible buffoons" and/or fitting the description "as useful as a kick-stand on a horse". I'm indifferent as to their choice; they can choose both if they want! The fans – the glorious "Raider Nation" – are merely front running, fair-weather fans whose "original costumes" for the games are no longer original - because all of them look the same. Memo to FOX, ESPN, ABC, & CBS: Stop showing these ass clowns on TV. You are only encouraging them and the other boneheads involved in this less than comic opera. I know. It's time for me to up the dosage on my medications. I'll get right on that. But don't get me wrong, I love sports...
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"Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, and disregard of all the rules." -- George Orwell, Shooting an Elephant |
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#10 |
I'll be back.
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Glorious.
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Chiefs game films |
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#11 |
Wasted away again...
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How do you save a Raider fan from drowning?
Mop up the vomit. What do you call a Raiders fan in a suit? The accused. http://www.chargertom.com/CruiseFiasco.jpg
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If you shed a tear for me, please make it a tear of joy. -Joe Tracy (Nzoner) . . ![]() |
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#12 |
a haw haw haw
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The Seven Dwarfs are working down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance to the mine and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out of the mine shaft, “The Raiders will win the Super Bowl.” Snow White says, “Well at least Dopey’s alive.”
What do Raiders fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.
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#13 |
Playing for #1 Draft Pick
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There's always this class act Fan.
Just Win Baby. ![]()
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sig test for this screwy schema |
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#14 |
a haw haw haw
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![]() THE RAIDERS ARE SO BAD THEIR FANS ARE NOW WEARING TWO EYE PATCHES SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO WATCH THEM GET SLAUGHTERED
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#15 |
Banded
Join Date: Feb 2001
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I think I know why the Raiders offense is so bad.
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