Classic Gretz "Listening to KRAP"

Kerberos · 07-30-2006, 04:53 AM

http://www.kcchiefs.com/news/2006/07...ening_to_krap/

My favorites are highlighted and I think he has pegged just about all the KC meia with this article!

RIVER FALLS, WI – Hi, this is Beau Derrick and welcome to the blowtorch sports signal of the great Midwest, KRAP-AM. We are broadcasting live from the Chiefs summer home today with Training Camp Talk. The switchboard is jammed with callers, so let’s start with Horatio out in Grain Valley.

OK Beau, this is really bad. The Chiefs losing Willie Roaf is the worst thing that could have happened. Is there any chance that he’ll change his mind? Give me hope Beau. I’ll take your answer off the air.

Thanks for calling Horatio and right now it sounds like Roaf is retired. He’s said he doesn’t think his body can respond to the level it has over his long career. If that’s true and his decision is to walk away, then bless him. If he wants to go out on top, and end his career with another Pro Bowl selection, that’s a great way to go.

But I think there’s about a three-week window here that we must wait through before we really know if this retirement sticks. In 21 days, the Chiefs will be out of River Falls and back to Kansas City. They will have two pre-season games behind them and they will be three weeks closer to the start of the regular season. He will have had time then to talk with some of his teammates and find out about how Herm Edwards runs practices. Be patient Horatio. Things may be different near the end of August.

Let’s move on and talk with Jack, who is on the toll-free line from Springfield. What say you Jack?

Beau quit being a Chiefs apologist. You know that this whole thing scuttles the Chiefs ability to run the football. Larry Johnson isn’t going anywhere this season without Willie Roaf in front of him. This is a disaster for the offense. Tell it like it is.

Well Jack, here are some facts to tell it like it is. Last year, Larry Johnson had one of the greatest nine-game stretches of any runner in pro football history. In three of those games, Willie Roaf did not play (Oakland, at Buffalo and at Houston.) L.J. averaged 150 yards per game, including 211 yards against the Texans.

Now, in the final six games that Roaf started, Johnson averaged 150.1 yards per game.

I’m not trying to tell you that losing Roaf doesn’t hurt. It does. But of all the Pro Bowlers on the Chiefs roster, he can be replaced faster than losing a Johnson, or Trent Green, or Tony Gonzalez. There are ways to compensate if the left tackle is having problems with blocking assignments and personnel. All is not lost.

Let’s go to Gladstone where Jason is calling from the buffet line at the Golden Corral. Put down your fork Jay and talk to us.

Beau, this is all Carl Peterson’s fault. He knew this was going to happen. It’s a conspiracy. He’s responsible for Roaf retiring. I also think he’s the guy behind the fighting over in Lebanon, higher gas prices and the construction that’s tying up all the freeways downtown. King Carl is also the guy, hold on Beau … hey, lady, I wasn’t done with that plate yet. Sorry Beau, I’ve got to go …

Jason, your conspiracy theories are getting a little old. You’ve called here so many times blaming Carl for this, blaming Carl for that. Let me tell you something about the King: he’s a powerful man, but he doesn’t pull nearly as many strings as you may think. You like to claim I’m his mouthpiece, but Jason it’s you who has created the impression he’s all knowing, all seeing, all omniscient. You’ve made him a legend. Are you sure you aren’t on his payroll?

OK, we’ve got time for another caller. Let’s go to Nathan in Olathe.

Hey Beau, first-time caller, long-time listener. All this jabber about Roaf leaving, I know it’s not helpful to the Chiefs, but what are they going to do to replace him. You are up at camp. Who is running with the first team?

Good question Nate. Let’s look to the future. Right now Kyle Turley is running as the first team left tackle through the opening weekend. Turley is long and lean and healthy. The key there is the healthy part. He just needs to get bigger. He’s right around 275 pounds, and he needs another 10, maybe 15 pounds if he’s going to stand up for the entire season. There’s no question Turley can use his veteran savvy and know-how to handle most pass rushers. He just needs to eat well while he’s here and add some good muscle. Remember, Turley has played most of his career at right tackle, but he moved to left tackle and played it quite well in New Orleans when Roaf was traded to the Chiefs before the 2002 season.

Jordan Black and Kevin Sampson have been splitting time at right tackle with the first unit and it’s way to early for any conclusions. Same with Will Svitek; he’s working with the second-team at left tackle.

Right now, it’s a work in progress. That makes it no different than 31 other teams. That’s what training camp is about.

OK, we’ve got to run and make room for our new afternoon show here on all-sports KRAP-AM. Joining us from the MTV network, Beavis and Butthead will take over just after the sports update and they’ll be talking about various sports related subjects they know nothing about. We bring you only the best in sports talk here on K-R-A-P.

And just remember this: if there’s something wrong in your world today, it’s probably Carl Peterson’s fault. Good day America.

htismaqe · 07-30-2006, 05:49 AM

What a ****ing dumbass.

This is the kinda stuff Big Sexy used to do, with his alter ego. What was his name?

Kerberos · 07-30-2006, 05:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

What a ****ing dumbass.

This is the kinda stuff Big Sexy used to do, with his alter ego. What was his name?

Lighten up!

I find it entertaining to see him pull the same shit on Fatlock that he has been doing to Chiefs Media forever.

It may not be as amusing to everyone as it to me but to each his own.

.

htismaqe · 07-30-2006, 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rxrider

Lighten up!

I find it entertaining to see him pull the same shit on Fatlock that he has been doing to Chiefs Media forever.

It may not be as amusing to everyone as it to me but to each his own.

.

Hey man. Don't get down on me. I'm the Planet's official Carl Apologist.

The media in KC is a joke. Everybody but the Chiefs front office knows it. Why they feel the need to respond to every little thing KK and Whitlock do is beyond me. It would be better just to shut up and let them continue to make fools of themselves.

Kerberos · 07-30-2006, 07:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

. It would be better just to shut up and let them continue to make fools of themselves.

WURD!

.

Bootlegged · 07-30-2006, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

What a ****ing dumbass.

This is the kinda stuff Big Sexy used to do, with his alter ego. What was his name?

BA Winslow Homer or something like that

htismaqe · 07-30-2006, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lattimer

BA Winslow Homer or something like that

Yep, that's it.

chiefqueen · 07-30-2006, 07:24 AM

Fatlock's alter ego is Brian Anthony Homer (B.A. Homer).

shaneo69 · 07-30-2006, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gretz

But I think there’s about a three-week window here that we must wait through before we really know if this retirement sticks. In 21 days, the Chiefs will be out of River Falls and back to Kansas City. They will have two pre-season games behind them and they will be three weeks closer to the start of the regular season. He will have had time then to talk with some of his teammates and find out about how Herm Edwards runs practices. Be patient Horatio. Things may be different near the end of August.

Gretz still holding on to the dream.

Luzap · 07-30-2006, 11:07 AM

Sorry guys...

I, and I suspect quite a few other people thoroughly enjoy Gretz.

Luz
never understoud the need some people feel to criticize those that are optomistic...

Kerberos · 07-30-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luzap

Sorry guys...

I, and I suspect quite a few other people thoroughly enjoy Gretz.

Luz
never understoud the need some people feel to criticize those that are optomistic...

Give or take a few of his columns that seem to REEEEK with "Mouthpiece for King Carl" I enjoy most of Bob's articles. I found this one to be entertaining.

.

**wazu** · 07-30-2006, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rxrider

Turley is long and lean and healthy. The key there is the healthy part. He just needs to get bigger. He’s right around 275 pounds...

Maybe with his pads on...and a couple of 20 lb dumbells in his hands.

shaneo69 · 07-30-2006, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rxrider

And just remember this: if there’s something wrong in your world today, it’s probably Carl Peterson’s fault. Good day America.

No need to be bitter, Bob. This sudden retirement simply gives you a built-in excuse if the Chiefs miss the playoffs again. And with Big Willie pointing a finger at DV's long practices, well, that's even more convenient.

07-30-2006, 04:53 AM	Topic Starter
Kerberos Chiefs Baby Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Henderson, NV Casino cash: $10000632	Classic Gretz "Listening to KRAP" http://www.kcchiefs.com/news/2006/07...ening_to_krap/ My favorites are highlighted and I think he has pegged just about all the KC meia with this article! RIVER FALLS, WI – Hi, this is Beau Derrick and welcome to the blowtorch sports signal of the great Midwest, KRAP-AM. We are broadcasting live from the Chiefs summer home today with Training Camp Talk. The switchboard is jammed with callers, so let’s start with Horatio out in Grain Valley. OK Beau, this is really bad. The Chiefs losing Willie Roaf is the worst thing that could have happened. Is there any chance that he’ll change his mind? Give me hope Beau. I’ll take your answer off the air. Thanks for calling Horatio and right now it sounds like Roaf is retired. He’s said he doesn’t think his body can respond to the level it has over his long career. If that’s true and his decision is to walk away, then bless him. If he wants to go out on top, and end his career with another Pro Bowl selection, that’s a great way to go. But I think there’s about a three-week window here that we must wait through before we really know if this retirement sticks. In 21 days, the Chiefs will be out of River Falls and back to Kansas City. They will have two pre-season games behind them and they will be three weeks closer to the start of the regular season. He will have had time then to talk with some of his teammates and find out about how Herm Edwards runs practices. Be patient Horatio. Things may be different near the end of August. Let’s move on and talk with Jack, who is on the toll-free line from Springfield. What say you Jack? Beau quit being a Chiefs apologist. You know that this whole thing scuttles the Chiefs ability to run the football. Larry Johnson isn’t going anywhere this season without Willie Roaf in front of him. This is a disaster for the offense. Tell it like it is. Well Jack, here are some facts to tell it like it is. Last year, Larry Johnson had one of the greatest nine-game stretches of any runner in pro football history. In three of those games, Willie Roaf did not play (Oakland, at Buffalo and at Houston.) L.J. averaged 150 yards per game, including 211 yards against the Texans. Now, in the final six games that Roaf started, Johnson averaged 150.1 yards per game. I’m not trying to tell you that losing Roaf doesn’t hurt. It does. But of all the Pro Bowlers on the Chiefs roster, he can be replaced faster than losing a Johnson, or Trent Green, or Tony Gonzalez. There are ways to compensate if the left tackle is having problems with blocking assignments and personnel. All is not lost. Let’s go to Gladstone where Jason is calling from the buffet line at the Golden Corral. Put down your fork Jay and talk to us. Beau, this is all Carl Peterson’s fault. He knew this was going to happen. It’s a conspiracy. He’s responsible for Roaf retiring. I also think he’s the guy behind the fighting over in Lebanon, higher gas prices and the construction that’s tying up all the freeways downtown. King Carl is also the guy, hold on Beau … hey, lady, I wasn’t done with that plate yet. Sorry Beau, I’ve got to go … Jason, your conspiracy theories are getting a little old. You’ve called here so many times blaming Carl for this, blaming Carl for that. Let me tell you something about the King: he’s a powerful man, but he doesn’t pull nearly as many strings as you may think. You like to claim I’m his mouthpiece, but Jason it’s you who has created the impression he’s all knowing, all seeing, all omniscient. You’ve made him a legend. Are you sure you aren’t on his payroll? OK, we’ve got time for another caller. Let’s go to Nathan in Olathe. Hey Beau, first-time caller, long-time listener. All this jabber about Roaf leaving, I know it’s not helpful to the Chiefs, but what are they going to do to replace him. You are up at camp. Who is running with the first team? Good question Nate. Let’s look to the future. Right now Kyle Turley is running as the first team left tackle through the opening weekend. Turley is long and lean and healthy. The key there is the healthy part. He just needs to get bigger. He’s right around 275 pounds, and he needs another 10, maybe 15 pounds if he’s going to stand up for the entire season. There’s no question Turley can use his veteran savvy and know-how to handle most pass rushers. He just needs to eat well while he’s here and add some good muscle. Remember, Turley has played most of his career at right tackle, but he moved to left tackle and played it quite well in New Orleans when Roaf was traded to the Chiefs before the 2002 season. Jordan Black and Kevin Sampson have been splitting time at right tackle with the first unit and it’s way to early for any conclusions. Same with Will Svitek; he’s working with the second-team at left tackle. Right now, it’s a work in progress. That makes it no different than 31 other teams. That’s what training camp is about. OK, we’ve got to run and make room for our new afternoon show here on all-sports KRAP-AM. Joining us from the MTV network, Beavis and Butthead will take over just after the sports update and they’ll be talking about various sports related subjects they know nothing about. We bring you only the best in sports talk here on K-R-A-P. And just remember this: if there’s something wrong in your world today, it’s probably Carl Peterson’s fault. Good day America.
Posts: 5,638

07-30-2006, 05:49 AM	#2
htismaqe 'Tis my eye! Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Chiefsplanet Casino cash: $8129900	What a ****ing dumbass. This is the kinda stuff Big Sexy used to do, with his alter ego. What was his name?
Posts: 104,379

07-30-2006, 07:24 AM	#8
chiefqueen On my throne Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $7892060	Fatlock's alter ego is Brian Anthony Homer (B.A. Homer).
Posts: 4,204

07-30-2006, 11:07 AM	#10
Luzap 9.89 Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Dallas, TX Casino cash: $10004900	Sorry guys... I, and I suspect quite a few other people thoroughly enjoy Gretz. Luz never understoud the need some people feel to criticize those that are optomistic...
Posts: 3,327