Football Give me every team's conspiracy story to win the Super Bowl.

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2016, 01:43 PM

If the NFL has indeed become rigged for marketing dollars, the league office is likely looking at each team in the beginning of the year to determine whether they should win the Super Bowl. Imagine that you're the team's representative in this top-secret meeting. What's your argument that your team should win the Super Bowl? This can be any reason - market size, star power, business reasons, whatever.

I think we have a few that are obvious, and I'll start with them, but let's go through all 32 teams.

Oakland Raiders - They're likely moving to Las Vegas, so we want to give the Oakland people something positive to cheer about as the team leaves, while also building support for a public tax for a fancy new stadium in Las Vegas.

Los Angeles Rams - It's the second-biggest market in the country, and we need to build momentum. This isn't a football town, so a Super Bowl win will ignite the fan base enough that it'll become "cool" to be seen at a Rams game.

New England Patriots - We owe them one in return for throwing the AFC title game last year to give Manning a super bowl.

Carolina Panthers - We owe them one in return for taking a dive in the super bowl last year to give Manning a ring and a ratings boost on future appearances.

That's four teams. Feel free to add to their narrative and give me the argument for the other 28 teams. Legitimate arguments only.

Hammock Parties · 10-10-2016, 01:45 PM

Kansas City Chiefs - the league is secretly in massive debt and wants to declare bankruptcy

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2016, 01:52 PM

Atlanta Falcons - It's one of the top ten TV markets in the country and the team has never been awarded a super bowl win. Matt Ryan is a boy scout who would not sully the title, and Dwight Freeney played with Peyton Manning for several years, which would give us a good chance to cash in on Manning talk during the game.

Reerun_KC · 10-10-2016, 02:11 PM

This should be a BlackOps super thread...

jimidollar · 10-10-2016, 02:14 PM

If the Chiefs ever do win the SB then you know the league is fixed. Chiefs could never win on their own.

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2016, 02:31 PM

Baltimore Ravens - A win would be inspiring for the City of Baltimore after their anti-police riots and police pullback. Plus, Terrell Suggs will be retiring soon and this would give the NFL a great way to continue the "Baltimore linebackers" story line after Murderin' Ray Lewis got his sendoff.

**Gadzooks** · 10-10-2016, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Baltimore Ravens - A win would be inspiring for the City of Baltimore after their anti-police riots and police pullback. Plus, Terrell Suggs will be retiring soon and this would give the NFL a great way to continue the "Baltimore linebackers" story line after Murderin' Ray Lewis got his sendoff.

You forgot Eric Weddle's revenge against the Chargers. Also, Baltimore only has 2 SBs in their 20 years of existence, need more to inflate the rivalry with Pittsburgh.
(BTW -who gives a shit about Pittsburgh or Baltimore?).

Discuss Thrower · 10-10-2016, 02:31 PM

I'll give you a rig against:

Dan Snyder willfully makes terrible moves to keep his team from being truly competitive because the NFL and the three TV networks don't want to be profiting off a Super Bowl featuring one team with a racial slur in its franchise name.

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2016, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

I'll give you a rig against:

Dan Snyder willfully makes terrible moves to keep his team from being truly competitive because the NFL and the three TV networks don't want to be profiting off a Super Bowl featuring one team with a racial slur in its franchise name.

Now that you mention it, we should probably go with pros and cons both.

**Nzoner** · 10-12-2016, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Now that you mention it, we should probably go with pros and cons both.

In today's overall climate I'd say the Jags are screwed with the name of their owner.

threebag · 10-10-2016, 02:32 PM

We are going to need a Big Board for the story lines. The NFL is really in a fix there are a lot of "Lifetime Greats" that are going to be exiting the game. The WWNFL should be spinning for the next few years.

Brady
Rogers
Big Ben

They are going out on top

Feels sorry for Phillip Rivers. Eli really ****ed him.

Hydrae · 10-10-2016, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threebag02

Feels sorry for Phillip Rivers. ~~Eli~~ Archie really ****ed him.

Corrected

Chief Northman · 10-10-2016, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threebag02

We are going to need a Big Board for the story lines. The NFL is really in a fix there are a lot of "Lifetime Greats" that are going to be exiting the game. The WWNFL should be spinning for the next few years.

Brady
Rogers
Big Ben

They are going out on top

Feels sorry for Phillip Rivers. Eli really ****ed him.

**** that noise. These pricks already all have rings. Pittsburgh's last two were were screw jobs against Arizona and Seattle. Kraft needs to diminish, and the nostalgia around Green Bay is just that now - too small market for the hungry hogs at the trough.

LA, Vegas, and Minny with that shiny new stadium will get a boost in the near future.

BlackHelicopters · 10-10-2016, 02:36 PM

Sky net has become self aware.

DJJasonp · 10-10-2016, 04:47 PM

Welp - if hurricane matthew had pulled a katrina on the carolinas, you might have seen Cam get his ring.

I'd go in the opposite direction with Dan Snyder - the year they decide to cave in to the PC crowd, will be the year they hoist the trophy.

The broncos will win 2 of the next 10 super bowls, due to the hefty under-the-table payments their owner continues to make to buy super bowl wins.

In all half-seriousness, I had a conspiracy theory a while back that the league is so rigged, super bowls are determined by whatever owner bids the most at the beginning of each season (to buy the super bowl win).

The only fly in the ointment for that theory is Jerry Jones (though maybe he did several years back and now he's running low on cash-flow?).

In reality, it's probably more about ratings and storylines than anything else.

10-10-2016, 01:43 PM	Topic Starter
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-762449 VARSITY	Give me every team's conspiracy story to win the Super Bowl. If the NFL has indeed become rigged for marketing dollars, the league office is likely looking at each team in the beginning of the year to determine whether they should win the Super Bowl. Imagine that you're the team's representative in this top-secret meeting. What's your argument that your team should win the Super Bowl? This can be any reason - market size, star power, business reasons, whatever. I think we have a few that are obvious, and I'll start with them, but let's go through all 32 teams. Oakland Raiders - They're likely moving to Las Vegas, so we want to give the Oakland people something positive to cheer about as the team leaves, while also building support for a public tax for a fancy new stadium in Las Vegas. Los Angeles Rams - It's the second-biggest market in the country, and we need to build momentum. This isn't a football town, so a Super Bowl win will ignite the fan base enough that it'll become "cool" to be seen at a Rams game. New England Patriots - We owe them one in return for throwing the AFC title game last year to give Manning a super bowl. Carolina Panthers - We owe them one in return for taking a dive in the super bowl last year to give Manning a ring and a ratings boost on future appearances. That's four teams. Feel free to add to their narrative and give me the argument for the other 28 teams. Legitimate arguments only.
Posts: 145,588

10-10-2016, 01:45 PM	#2
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $720478	Kansas City Chiefs - the league is secretly in massive debt and wants to declare bankruptcy __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 297,616

10-10-2016, 01:52 PM	#3
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-762449 VARSITY	Atlanta Falcons - It's one of the top ten TV markets in the country and the team has never been awarded a super bowl win. Matt Ryan is a boy scout who would not sully the title, and Dwight Freeney played with Peyton Manning for several years, which would give us a good chance to cash in on Manning talk during the game. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,588

10-10-2016, 02:11 PM	#4
Reerun_KC Banned Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7231160	This should be a BlackOps super thread...
Posts: 1,529

10-10-2016, 02:14 PM	#5
jimidollar MVP Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Texas Casino cash: $10021632	If the Chiefs ever do win the SB then you know the league is fixed. Chiefs could never win on their own. __________________ -------------------- "I will have my glory day in the hot sun."- Nacho
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10-10-2016, 02:31 PM	#6
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-762449 VARSITY	Baltimore Ravens - A win would be inspiring for the City of Baltimore after their anti-police riots and police pullback. Plus, Terrell Suggs will be retiring soon and this would give the NFL a great way to continue the "Baltimore linebackers" story line after Murderin' Ray Lewis got his sendoff. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,588

10-10-2016, 02:31 PM	#8
Discuss Thrower "You like to drink?" Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: "I like to drink." Casino cash: $-460000	I'll give you a rig against: Dan Snyder willfully makes terrible moves to keep his team from being truly competitive because the NFL and the three TV networks don't want to be profiting off a Super Bowl featuring one team with a racial slur in its franchise name. __________________ Chiefs 2016 Opponents: Home: JAX, TEN, NO, TB, NYJ. Away: HOU, IND, ATL, CAR, PIT Chiefs 2017 Opponents: Home: BUF, MIA, PHI, WSH, AFC North. Away: NE, NYJ, NYG, DAL, AFC South
Posts: 45,282

10-10-2016, 02:32 PM	#11
threebag Snacks Are Under My Apron Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Edge Casino cash: $-1192380	We are going to need a Big Board for the story lines. The NFL is really in a fix there are a lot of "Lifetime Greats" that are going to be exiting the game. The WWNFL should be spinning for the next few years. Brady Rogers Big Ben They are going out on top Feels sorry for Phillip Rivers. Eli really ****ed him. __________________ Smells like Up Dog in here. RIP HayWire Greatest Almost Mod Ever
Posts: 26,366

10-10-2016, 02:36 PM	#14
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $-80000	Sky net has become self aware. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
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10-10-2016, 04:47 PM	#15
DJJasonp My work speaks for itself!!! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: So Cal Casino cash: $-1974800	Welp - if hurricane matthew had pulled a katrina on the carolinas, you might have seen Cam get his ring. I'd go in the opposite direction with Dan Snyder - the year they decide to cave in to the PC crowd, will be the year they hoist the trophy. The broncos will win 2 of the next 10 super bowls, due to the hefty under-the-table payments their owner continues to make to buy super bowl wins. In all half-seriousness, I had a conspiracy theory a while back that the league is so rigged, super bowls are determined by whatever owner bids the most at the beginning of each season (to buy the super bowl win). The only fly in the ointment for that theory is Jerry Jones (though maybe he did several years back and now he's running low on cash-flow?). In reality, it's probably more about ratings and storylines than anything else. __________________ Its easier to fool a man, than to convince a man he's been fooled.
Posts: 14,014