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Topic Starter |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Your stupid rooting guide for stupid Week 15
Okay, we have to assume that the best team in football is now quite possibly going to end up playing as the 5th seed, so that changes everything in how we think about the stupid playoffs. Our plan now is to win a stupid playoff game on the road before we step aside for the Patriots/Chargers AFC Championship game. Here's your stupid rooting guide, as if it makes a stupid difference because of our stupid defensive scheme.
If we're the #5 seed, then we want a weak #4 and a weak #6. That would then position us to play the stupid Chargers in their little soccer stadium, and they won't win a fair fight against us. Then we can go on the road and play the stupid Patriots. If we somehow beat the Seahawks and Raiders, I don't think that most of this changes. In that case, we want the weakest team to be the #4 seed since they'll likely win, and I think a weak #6 is tolerable even if we'd like an upset. But who am I kidding? The Chargers will be given the #1 seed. Most important stupid game: Chiefs over Chargers. Stupid. Defensive pass interference on the 1 yard line with 8 seconds left. Yeah. Got it. Critical stupid games: Jets over stupid Texans. Drive Houston down toward the #4 spot so we can perhaps play them on the road instead of having home field advantage like we deserve. Stupid Titans over Giants. We want the tiny chance that the Titans can knock the Texans out of the playoffs completely, just in case we beat the Seahawks. And stupid Eli Manning didn't go to the team that drafted him, even though that team was the stupid Chargers. Ravens over Buccaneers. You may disagree, but I'd much rather play the Ravens on the road than the stupid Steelers, and one of them will likely be the #4 seed. I want the Ravens to win the division at this point and get the stupid top quarterbacks and rapists out of the playoffs. (My preference is the Bengals, but that's a long shot.) Stupid Steelers over stupid Patriots. If you think we can't beat the stupid Seahawks, then maybe reverse this stupid pick. Stupid teams. (I'm changing this pick, by the way, as I recover from my Chiefs-related depression.) Stupid games that don't matter much: Seahawks over 49ers. Might as well have them win so they're not desperate when the play the Chiefs next week. Bengals over stupid Raiders. The Raiders are stupid, and ideally the Bengals will sneak in and get the #4 seed. Cowboys over Colts. Screw the stupid Colts. I don't want them in the playoffs. We want the weakest #6 seed in there so we can win our stupid wild card game and then go to the stupid soccer stadium to play against stupid Phillip Rivers. Miami over Minnesota. We want the weakest #6 seed with the worst quarterback, and that's not the Colts. Browns over stupid Broncos. Not that it matter much, but screw the stupid Broncos. And the Browns would be a weak #6 seed. Stupid games that almost don't matter at all: Bears over stupid Packers. I dislike Aaron Rodgers and those insurance commercials. Eagles over stupid Rams. The Rams are stupid and I want them to go down in the seeding. Panthers over Saints. Knock the Saints down in the stupid seedings. Stupid games that don't matter at all: Redskins over Jaguars. Win one for the gipper. Bills over Lions. Give the Bills a lower draft spot as punishment for not drafting Mahomes. Cardinals over Falcons. I don't care. Stupid game. Don't even bother playing it. Last edited by Rain Man; 12-16-2018 at 10:50 PM.. |
Posts: 145,409
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#2 |
The Maintenance Guy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate
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Rain Man put too much work into this stupid thread for it to fall off the front page without a single stupid response.
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#3 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
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Well this is stupid...
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#4 |
GDT white noise poster
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Chonson County
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I hope there's a meteor strike during the pats steelers game
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#5 |
Shaken. Not stirred.
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: London
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Stupid is as stupid does
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My dear girl, there are some things that just aren’t done. Such as, drinking Dom Perignon ’53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs. |
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#6 |
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Sioux City, IA
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You mean there's a reason to live?
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#7 |
Inmem 2.0
Join Date: Aug 2007
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Disagree dont want the Ravens winning the division or in playoffs. Much tougher team than Pittsburgh.
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#8 |
SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS
Join Date: Aug 2013
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I’d rather New England lose. Need the #1 seed to not go through there.
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#9 | |
Seize life. Be an ermine.
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Casino cash: $-612449
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Quote:
All I know is that when we end up on the road, I'd rather go to the soccer stadium than go to New England where the headsets will stop working on third down and the locker rooms are bugged.
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Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history. |
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#10 |
MVP
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Texas
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Rooting for an asteroid.
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-------------------- "I will have my glory day in the hot sun."- Nacho |
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#11 |
Supporter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Who knows?
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Praying for an asteroid to hit Arrowhead while it’s vacant.
Seriously, **** that place. (On second thought, wouldn’t mind if Sutton was in the building when it hits) |
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#12 |
Rockin' yer FACE OFF!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
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I'm only rooting for the stupid Chiefs to beat the stupid Seahawks and then beat the stupid Raiders at stupid Arrowhead...
...the rest is just...stupid...
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![]() We have a million reasons for failure, but not one excuse... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Holy Crap fellas!!! We did it!!! THREE TIMES!!! ![]() |
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#13 |
Needs more middle fingers
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: San Diego
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This. Beat the Seahawks. Beat the Raiders. Nothing else matters.
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Life is like a dick. Sometimes it gets hard for no reason, but it can't stay hard forever. |
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#14 |
Life is changing..
Join Date: Jul 2012
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Chiefs will still be the #1 seed.
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#15 |
MVP
Join Date: Oct 2012
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bRain Man is the conductor of this doom an gloom train. All aboard!
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