Chiefs Fan Diseases

[The Franchise]

From a poster on WPI....who got it off of Arrowhead Addict.

Attention to Quarterback Deficit Disorder - This one is rather easy to define, and is classified by a chronic state of denial when it comes to quarterback being the undisputed most important position in the NFL. These victims will often state that you can’t have a quarterback until you have a dominant line, not realizing that a race car is just a worthless hunk of parts without a great driver behind the wheel.

Bob Gretz Syndrome - A cerebral state of rampant homerism that has spiraled out of control. Most of the time, the victim doesn’t even realize that the rose-colored glasses are permanently strapped to their face. While the enthusiasm is nice to see, the tangents of those struggling with BGS can get rather annoying.

Bradyomania - Typically associated with those in Chiefs Nation who are experiencing frequent hallucinations about the Chiefs finding a franchise quarterback in the seventh round, or even Tyler Thigpen turning out to be that guy. This is a harmless condition, but it can have quite an effect on one’s social status if these hallucinations become public, as the victim can become isolated.

(Aaron) Curry Fever - An obsessive-compulsive disorder that typically goes hand in hand with memory loss. Those with Curry Fever often forget that in the past 20 years only three linebackers have been selected in the top three — Kevin Hardy, LaVar Arrington and Quentin Coryatt. Somehow those stricken with Curry Fever fail to remember that all three of these players have to be considered draft busts. They refuse to realize that LBs who can’t rush the passer and are picked in the top five have not fared well. Curry Fever victims also like to compare Curry to pass rushers like Derrick Thomas (picked fourth in ‘89) and Lawrence Taylor (taken second a half-century ago), even though he’s not a pass rusher (9.5 sacks in four years of college). If when approached about this fact someone responds, “yeah, but this year is different,” seek clinical care for them immediately — they definitely have a strong case of Curry Fever.

Hermitis - A chemical imbalance in the brain that leads its victims to believe that NFL rebuilding efforts take 3-4 years, or as long as college rebuilding efforts. Hermaphobia was most recently disproved by the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens and Miami Dolphins, all in 2008.

King Carl’s Disease - A deranged mental state where the victim becomes obsessed with bargain hunting and duct tape-repair jobs. Every move is made with the intent to stay over .500, fill the seats and muzzle Chiefs Nation and the media. Unfortunately, some Chiefs fans have become KGD victims themselves. Some phrases that are commonly associated with this mental condition: “free agency is a waste of money,” “build through the draft — not free agency” and “first-round quarterbacks are too risky.” Anxiety over any aggressive front office move — especially spending! — is a common symptom.

Martyballism - This is similar to dementia, but only with Chiefs football. Some Chiefs fans have the tendency to remember the Martyball era in a more favorable light than they should. These fans are typically the same ones who think a dominant defense and caretaker quarterback are the only path to the Super Bowl. How quickly they forget that the only year Martyball made the AFC Championship, the Chiefs were led to that game by Joe Montana.

Vermeilaphobia - This paranoid frame of mind is almost always found in those also dealing with a strong case of Martyballism. Those suffering with Vermielaphobia tend to think that great offenses cannot make or win Super Bowls, when history clearly proves that viewpoint wrong. These victims also think any team that focuses more on offense will always just completely ignore the defensive side of the ball. Possibly the most irrational affliction currently diagnosed among Chiefs fans. One theory is that victims just prefer “meat and potatoes” football, and would rather win ugly in low-scoring affairs than in shootouts. Most rational fans just want to win in the fashion best suited for their favorite team, whether it be with defense, offense or, preferably, both.

[Pioli Zombie]

They also left out when people have a Stafford infection.

This is when people get the idea in their head that an ok college quarterback is the second coming of John Elway and the idea grows and swells until just the idea that the local team might not draft him makes the person discharge green mucus out their orifices
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[Reerun_KC]

Originally Posted by Pioli Zombie

They also left out when people have a Stafford infection.

This is when people get the idea in their head that an ok college quarterback is the second coming of John Elway and the idea grows and swells until the just the idea that the local team doesn't draft him makes the person discharge green mucus out their orifices
Posted via Mobile Device

'



Not even remotely close to being funny or accurate.... Good try though...

[OnTheWarpath15]

Originally Posted by Reerun_KC

'



Not even remotely close to being funny or accurate.... Good try though...

I love how a guy that is universally thought of as a better prospect than Jay Cutler and Matt Ryan is just an "OK" QB.

[Pioli Zombie]

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58

I love how a guy that is universally thought of as a better prospect than Jay Cutler and Matt Ryan is just an "OK" QB.

Univerally? Talk about a reach.
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[CrazyHorse]

They are all pretty funny. Even PZs.

I have one.

Constipational blindness:

It's when a person has thier head so far up Mark Sanchez's ass they cant see anything else.
The 1st step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.

[FAX]

Well, I'm also surprised they didn't include Gunthermia.

Gunthermia: Most often affects linebackers. Symptoms include suddenly freezing in place at the snap of the ball, confusion, and loss of stats.

FAX

[Dave Lane]

Originally Posted by CrazyHorse

They are all pretty funny. Even PZs.

I have one.

Constipational blindness:

It's when a person has thier head so far up Mark Sanchez's ass they cant see anything else.
The 1st step to recovery is to admit you have a problem.

Oh Oh can i do it please

Kill yourself!

[FAX]

Football: A disease Samie Parker never has to worry about catching.

FAX

[The Buddha]

I suffer from Grbacitis. Whenever I get in a high-pressure situation, I instantly fall to the floor and curl up into a ball.

Originally Posted by FAX

Football: A disease Samie Parker never has to worry about catching.

FAX

...snap... Best one IMO.

[OnTheWarpath15]

Originally Posted by The Buddha

I suffer from Grbacitis. Whenever I get in a high-pressure situation, I instantly fall to the floor and curl up into a ball.

Also commonly known as Huarditis.

[blueballs]

Thiggitis-feelings of grandeur
self proclaimed NFL starting QB status
have sex with a skeleton and think it's tight

[FAX]

Curlera: A syndrome first described in 2000 causing persistent bafflement, mystification, and perplexity in its victims. The exact cause remains unknown although more recent research indicates that the condition worsens when observing an individual being paid astronomical sums for doing absolutely nothing.

FAX

[blueballs]

True Fanism is yet to be defined

[Pioli Zombie]

Brodiephilia

To hurt oneself repeatedly
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[The Buddha]

LinEllitoism: When someone fucks up so much, they remove any and all reason for them to live ever again.

Its common for people with this disease to try and hang themselves. However most cases end safely, as they usually don't have the fucking accuracy to kick the stool out from under them.