How Drunk are You?

**BigRedChief** · 10-23-2004, 10:20 AM

This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a final answer.

1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she: (a) the most beautiful woman alive; (b) a beautiful woman; (c) attractive; (d) ugly as sin.

2. Think about your job. In your mind, is it: (a) the best job on the planet; (b) a good job; (c) a decent job; (d) the most annoying job ever.

3. Try walking. What happened? Did you: (a) find it impossible to stand up; (b) fall after standing up; (c) walk fifty feet before falling flat on your face; (d) walk one thousand feet without falling.

4. How did you get to the bar? I got here in: (a) my brand new chauffer-driven limo; (b) a brand new car; (c) a used car; (d) a rented, rusted, and damaged 1950 japanese import.

5. What do you think of your strength? I am: (a) invincible; (b) stronger than anyone in the bar; (c) as strong as the average man; (d) a weak and pathetic being.

Question answer values

For every question answered with an A, add ten points.
For every question answered with a B, add five points.
For every question answered with a C, do not change the score.
For every question answered with a D, subtract five points.
For every question answered with an E, add one hundred points.

Results

For scores ranging from fifty to 135, congratulations. You're over and above the normal drunk. Generally, at least they are able to select a valid option. An e option does not even exist on this test. You should probably check yourself into a hospital for alcohol poisoning.

For scores ranging from thirty-five to fifty, you had ten too many beers. If you plan on driving home, make out a will first--that is, if you can even remember your own name. Lastly, don't even think about standing up.

For scores ranging from fifteen to thirty-five, you have had one too many beers. Don't drive unless you want a higher insurance rate. Standing up will probably result in injury.

For scores ranging from zero to fifteen, you may want to stop drinking now. You have probably had enough beers but don't drive unless you want a ticket. If you choose to ignore the tip to stop drinking, it is not a problem; you probably still have the ability to stand up.

For scores ranging from negative twenty-five to zero, you must just be getting started! I bet you don't even have one beer in you. In terms of driving, you are probably just getting out of the car and are walking to the bar this very moment.

Mr. Kotter · 10-23-2004, 10:31 AM

This question might be more appropriate in 10 or 11 hours.

**BigRedChief** · 10-23-2004, 05:25 PM

I think a lot of you might need this tonight. Consider it a public service announcement.

Abba-Dabba · 10-23-2004, 05:33 PM

Geez, I wouldn't be able to answer these questions sober, let alone being drunk.

**Rain Man** · 10-23-2004, 05:43 PM

Why do drunks have chauffeur-driven limousines? Is there some sort of designated driver program sponsored by Bill Gates?

**Rain Man** · 10-23-2004, 05:46 PM

Oh. Never mind. I get it. Drunk people lie.

**alanm** · 10-23-2004, 05:49 PM

If I still drank I'd be well on my way to being hammered right now because of the fucking Huskers!

**Rain Man** · 10-23-2004, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

I do not.

How do I know you're not lying?

Cntrygal · 10-23-2004, 06:18 PM

How Drunk are You?

Not enough.

**Bowser** · 10-23-2004, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cntrygal

How Drunk are You?

Not enough.

Slacker.

memyselfI · 10-23-2004, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cntrygal

How Drunk are You?

Not enough.

The exact same words popped into my head...

Hammock Parties · 10-23-2004, 06:21 PM

I'm thinking I might join in with tonight's Chiefsplanet drunk and obnoxious party.

Cntrygal · 10-23-2004, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Slacker.

I'll remedy that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by memyselfI

The exact same words popped into my head...

About me?

Or you?

keg in kc · 10-23-2004, 06:25 PM

I don't drink.

**Bowser** · 10-23-2004, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ENDelt260

Me neither.

Thanks. I just spit beer out. Now I don't drink, either.

10-23-2004, 10:20 AM
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $-841038 VARSITY	How Drunk are You? This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a final answer. 1. Think about your wife. In your mind, is she: (a) the most beautiful woman alive; (b) a beautiful woman; (c) attractive; (d) ugly as sin. 2. Think about your job. In your mind, is it: (a) the best job on the planet; (b) a good job; (c) a decent job; (d) the most annoying job ever. 3. Try walking. What happened? Did you: (a) find it impossible to stand up; (b) fall after standing up; (c) walk fifty feet before falling flat on your face; (d) walk one thousand feet without falling. 4. How did you get to the bar? I got here in: (a) my brand new chauffer-driven limo; (b) a brand new car; (c) a used car; (d) a rented, rusted, and damaged 1950 japanese import. 5. What do you think of your strength? I am: (a) invincible; (b) stronger than anyone in the bar; (c) as strong as the average man; (d) a weak and pathetic being. Question answer values For every question answered with an A, add ten points. For every question answered with a B, add five points. For every question answered with a C, do not change the score. For every question answered with a D, subtract five points. For every question answered with an E, add one hundred points. Results For scores ranging from fifty to 135, congratulations. You're over and above the normal drunk. Generally, at least they are able to select a valid option. An e option does not even exist on this test. You should probably check yourself into a hospital for alcohol poisoning. For scores ranging from thirty-five to fifty, you had ten too many beers. If you plan on driving home, make out a will first--that is, if you can even remember your own name. Lastly, don't even think about standing up. For scores ranging from fifteen to thirty-five, you have had one too many beers. Don't drive unless you want a higher insurance rate. Standing up will probably result in injury. For scores ranging from zero to fifteen, you may want to stop drinking now. You have probably had enough beers but don't drive unless you want a ticket. If you choose to ignore the tip to stop drinking, it is not a problem; you probably still have the ability to stand up. For scores ranging from negative twenty-five to zero, you must just be getting started! I bet you don't even have one beer in you. In terms of driving, you are probably just getting out of the car and are walking to the bar this very moment.
Posts: 81,370

10-23-2004, 10:31 AM	#2
Mr. Kotter Self Ban Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: In some's minds... Casino cash: $3194285	This question might be more appropriate in 10 or 11 hours. __________________ Movin' On...
Posts: 46,966

10-23-2004, 05:25 PM	#3
BigRedChief Has a particular set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: On the water Casino cash: $-841038 VARSITY	I think a lot of you might need this tonight. Consider it a public service announcement. __________________ Mahomes is not a game manager. Release the Kraken.
Posts: 81,370

10-23-2004, 05:33 PM	#4
Abba-Dabba MVP Join Date: May 2001 Casino cash: $3582970	Geez, I wouldn't be able to answer these questions sober, let alone being drunk.
Posts: 18,278

10-23-2004, 05:43 PM	#5
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-732449 VARSITY	Why do drunks have chauffeur-driven limousines? Is there some sort of designated driver program sponsored by Bill Gates? __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,567

10-23-2004, 05:46 PM	#6
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-732449 VARSITY	Oh. Never mind. I get it. Drunk people lie. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,567

10-23-2004, 05:49 PM	#7
alanm Feeling Victorian Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Nebraska/Wyoming/Colorado Casino cash: $-113564	If I still drank I'd be well on my way to being hammered right now because of the fucking Huskers!
Posts: 33,983

10-23-2004, 06:18 PM	#9
Cntrygal Brrrrr..... Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA!!! :) Casino cash: $9954930	How Drunk are You? Not enough.
Posts: 4,793

10-23-2004, 06:21 PM	#12
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $750478	I'm thinking I might join in with tonight's Chiefsplanet drunk and obnoxious party. __________________ Chiefs game films
Posts: 297,577

10-23-2004, 06:25 PM	#14
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I don't drink.
Posts: 58,682