Life If slavery was legal... - Page 4

**Rain Man** · 09-01-2009, 08:15 PM

Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to.

Background:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE.

In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY.

You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE.

All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT.

Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING.

Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK.

Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria.

Be honest. Would you buy one?

NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE.

And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.

wild1 · 09-01-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dottefan

What if Kim kardashian or some other hot chick gets picked for a slave... I would defiantly get one..but the best part would be to get some conservative GOP , birther, nut job as my own personal slave.

I would wip him until he says his name is Kunta,

and not Bob lol

Charming.

**DaneMcCloud** · 09-01-2009, 11:18 PM

If slavery were still legal in the United States, I'd move to a different country where it's not legal.

dj56dt58 · 09-01-2009, 11:21 PM

I think we should be able to treat lazy jobless homeless people as slaves

Fairplay · 09-01-2009, 11:22 PM

There are different forms of slavery. In biblical times you would work for a master to pay debt off, own property and such.

Much like the indentured servant was used in the beginning of this country for food, clothing lodging and buying property among other things. So in a way they were your slave. Under an agreement you had to work for him for x amount of time to pay off the debt.

Fairplay · 09-01-2009, 11:27 PM

I would guess many of us are slaves to society in a way. Paying off mortgages, cars, energy sources, food, Visa cards etc.

We have to work, right? (except Gochiefs)

Plus it helps gives us a sense of purpose in our lives as well.

**Buehler445** · 09-01-2009, 11:27 PM

I find it conceivable that a chick with a great set of titties could play her cards right and make me her slave....forever.

Dottefan · 09-01-2009, 11:28 PM

Could we buy Canadians as slaves...I always wanted to own a Canadian( not meaning the code word that you use for black people, that you think we dont know about..whitey lol) ...

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

I find it conceivable that a chick with a great set of titties could play her cards right and make me her slave....forever.

Have you seen BK's new avatar?

**Buehler445** · 09-01-2009, 11:29 PM

I saw the big picture.

EDIT: Link FTR

Frazod · 09-01-2009, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buehler445

I saw the big picture.

Where is that?

**Buehler445** · 09-01-2009, 11:31 PM

I edited in the link...

Fairplay · 09-01-2009, 11:34 PM

***boing****

POND_OF_RED · 09-01-2009, 11:36 PM

I could get Rush Limbaugh for 15k? That would be a steal.

Frazod · 09-02-2009, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by POND_OF_RED

I could get Rush Limbaugh for 15k? That would be a steal.

You could probably get pretty much any Cub player you want. They're all on sale right now.

big nasty kcnut · 09-02-2009, 12:48 AM

If i could get a harem of hot ladies. I would buy some.
Posted via Mobile Device

View Poll Results: See Rules Below. Would you buy one?
Part 1. Would you buy one or more?	3	4.35%
Yes	20	28.99%
No	37	53.62%
Unsure.	3	4.35%
Part 2. If yes, why? Select the ONE main reason.	3	4.35%
It seems like a good economic investment.	9	13.04%
I could use the help.	12	17.39%
I would relish the absolute power.	4	5.80%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	1	1.45%
Part 3. If no, why not? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
I couldn't afford one.	8	11.59%
I don't need one.	8	11.59%
Slavery is wrong! WRONG! What kind of demented poll is this?	30	43.48%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	5	7.25%
Part 4. If unsure, why are you unsure? Select the ONE main reason.	2	2.90%
It seems wrong, but wow, it'd be soooo handy.	6	8.70%
I'd really like to know more about the shopping process.	2	2.90%
I'm not sure how history would judge me.	0	0%
I'm afraid of what I would do with absolute power, but I relish it.	1	1.45%
I'm not sure it's really a good deal, what with all this health care reform stuff and taxes.	1	1.45%
I'm unsure why I'm unsure.	0	0%
Other reason. See my explanation below.	3	4.35%
Part 5. Required apologies	3	4.35%
I'm checking this box as an apology for even thinking about this.	25	36.23%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 69. You may not vote on this poll

09-01-2009, 08:15 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-732449 VARSITY	If slavery was legal... Hypothetical situation here, and I'll start by apologizing in advance to every African American person on the board if you want me to. Background: NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. In order to help pay for a new stimulus package that provides big-screen TVs, unlimited 7-11 Big Gulps, and liposuction for every American, Obama's wacky science advisor re-establishes slavery in the United States. Every American draws a random number and 30 percent (those drawing a number ending in a 2, 4 or 7 if you're interested) will become slaves. So the slave population will contain people of all education levels, ages, genders, and yes, all races. Those slaves are then placed for sale by the government in a controlled auction environment. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. You and all of your friends and relatives and friendly coworkers draw safe numbers, so you don't have to worry about anyone you know. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. All laws are rewritten so that owning slaves is legal, generally along the lines of the year 1850. There is no social stigma to being a slaveowner, as it is condoned by nearly all daytime TV talk shows as well as Comedy Central, FOX News, and National Public Radio (though NPR suggests donating them to NPR in your will). The Constitution is amended to allow it, so it's not going anywhere in your lifetime. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. Based on about five minutes of research, it appears that the price for a slave in 1850, if inflated to today's dollars, would range from about $15,000 for someone with flaws (advanced age, health, etc.), to about $50,000 for an average slave, to about $95,000 for a top-notch, good-looking, prime-of-life slave. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. Recall that you would be responsible for all of this person's expenses and upkeep, including housing, health care, food, etc. However, in return you get...well...the person. Free labor for the remainder of the person's natural life, and no saying no to anything. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. Much like a car, an interested buyer can shop around and buy a person who seems like the best value according to their own criteria. Be honest. Would you buy one? NOTE: THIS IS NOT A RACE THING. DON'T TALK ABOUT RACE. SERIOUSLY. DON'T EVEN GO THERE. I MEAN IT. I'M NOT KIDDING. NO RACE TALK. NONE. And I'll finish by apologizing to any African Americans on the board if you want me to.
Posts: 145,562

09-01-2009, 11:18 PM	#47
DaneMcCloud Supporter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hollywood, CA Casino cash: $10053648	If slavery were still legal in the United States, I'd move to a different country where it's not legal.
Posts: 88,960

09-01-2009, 11:21 PM	#48
dj56dt58 Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9960055	I think we should be able to treat lazy jobless homeless people as slaves
Posts: 6,361

09-01-2009, 11:22 PM	#49
Fairplay A certain set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: texas Casino cash: $10026683 VARSITY	There are different forms of slavery. In biblical times you would work for a master to pay debt off, own property and such. Much like the indentured servant was used in the beginning of this country for food, clothing lodging and buying property among other things. So in a way they were your slave. Under an agreement you had to work for him for x amount of time to pay off the debt.
Posts: 25,265

09-01-2009, 11:27 PM	#50
Fairplay A certain set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: texas Casino cash: $10026683 VARSITY	I would guess many of us are slaves to society in a way. Paying off mortgages, cars, energy sources, food, Visa cards etc. We have to work, right? (except Gochiefs) Plus it helps gives us a sense of purpose in our lives as well.
Posts: 25,265

09-01-2009, 11:27 PM	#51
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $-1645266	I find it conceivable that a chick with a great set of titties could play her cards right and make me her slave....forever.
Posts: 60,033

09-01-2009, 11:28 PM	#52
Dottefan Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: FROM KCK, LIVIN N J\O Casino cash: $10004900	Could we buy Canadians as slaves...I always wanted to own a Canadian( not meaning the code word that you use for black people, that you think we dont know about..whitey lol) ...
Posts: 1,295

09-01-2009, 11:29 PM	#54
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $-1645266	I saw the big picture. EDIT: Link FTR
Posts: 60,033

09-01-2009, 11:31 PM	#56
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $-1645266	I edited in the link...
Posts: 60,033

09-01-2009, 11:34 PM	#57
Fairplay A certain set of skills Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: texas Casino cash: $10026683 VARSITY	*boing**
Posts: 25,265

09-01-2009, 11:36 PM	#58
POND_OF_RED The talking stonehead Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Blue Springs, MO Casino cash: $-1946854	I could get Rush Limbaugh for 15k? That would be a steal.
Posts: 6,018

09-02-2009, 12:48 AM	#60
big nasty kcnut The pizza king of kansas Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Somewhere in the u.s.a. Casino cash: $-2279100	If i could get a harem of hot ladies. I would buy some. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 19,427