News GET OFF MY LAWN!!!! - Page 2

**gblowfish** · 05-14-2010, 08:30 AM

Or I'll kill you.

Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident

By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean
CHICAGO TRIBUNE
05/11/2010

CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass.

Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said.

On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53.

The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark.

Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground.

"It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?"

Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open.

"I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me."

Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight.

"It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died.

Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said.

Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone.

"Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers.

Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

That was a seriously bad idea.

Agreed, but following through was much worse.

Brock · 05-14-2010, 09:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibal

Agreed, but following through was much worse.

No doubt, but talking shit to someone waving a gun around is Darwin material.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

No doubt, but talking shit to someone waving a gun around is Darwin material.

That's true too.

**Bwana** · 05-14-2010, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

No doubt, but talking shit to someone waving a gun around is Darwin material.

No doubt about that. It's not a good time to have a dick measuring contest.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:12 AM

The kid should've back away slowly, apologized and went home and called the cops.

**Bwana** · 05-14-2010, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibal

The kid should've back away slowly, apologized and went home and called the cops.

That would have been a brighter move.

Radar Chief · 05-14-2010, 09:22 AM

I’d think it common sense to not dare an armed Marine to shoot you.

Brock · 05-14-2010, 09:26 AM

Come back when he's asleep and burn his house down, I always say.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Come back when he's asleep and burn his house down, I always say.

LOL. Or set his lawn on fire. Holy shit, he'd fire bomb the entire neighborhood.

**Bwana** · 05-14-2010, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibal

LOL. Or set his lawn on fire. Holy shit, he'd fire bomb the entire neighborhood.

Yeah, I think a couple gallons of Roundup would have beed a good way to even the score myself.

boogblaster · 05-14-2010, 09:35 AM

he should of chopped up the evidence and used it for fetilizer .....

**Rain Man** · 05-14-2010, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibal

What a ****in psycho. At least for him he's 69 years old so he's lived the majority of his life and he'll probably only spend maybe 10 years in prison until he dies of natural causes (unless he's shanked in the shower sooner than that). Ironically, he'll never get to see or manicure his beautiful lawn again though.

If I was the widow I'd send him a picture of the lawn every month as it degrades.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:39 AM

[QUOTE=Bwana;6758271]Yeah, I think a couple gallons of Roundup would have beed a good way to even the score myself.

Nice.

Cannibal · 05-14-2010, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If I was the widow I'd send him a picture of the lawn every month as it degrades.

Another good strategy.

Hydrae · 05-14-2010, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

I’d think it common sense to not dare an armed Marine to shoot you.

You would think he could have winged the guy though instead of going for a kill shot. At least then he might be able to get out to see his lawn someday.

05-14-2010, 08:30 AM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $16866178 VARSITY	GET OFF MY LAWN!!!! Or I'll kill you. Man is accused of shooting neighbor over dog's accident By Steve Schmadeke and Lolly Bowean CHICAGO TRIBUNE 05/11/2010 CHICAGO -- A retired former Marine who neighbors say obsessed over his lawn is being held on $3 million bond, accused of gunning down a neighbor whose puppy allegedly urinated on the man's well-manicured grass. Charles J. Clements, 69, of University Park routinely wins the Chicago suburb's beautification and lawn upkeep award but is also known for threatening children or adults who dare set foot in his yard, neighbors said. On Sunday night, Joshua Funches, a 23-year-old father of two, was walking his fox terrier Gucci when the dog lifted its leg and urinated on Clements' lawn, said Funches' mother, Patricia, 53. The two men began arguing and at some point, Clements, a retired bus driver, pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Funches, said Will County assistant state's attorney Sondra Denmark. Witnesses said Funches then said to Clements, "Next time you pull out a pistol, why don't you use it?" Denmark said. At that point, witnesses said they saw orange and white light and heard a loud noise. They saw Funches fall to the ground. "It was all over a little wooden plaque," said an emotional Patricia Funches, referring to the town's beautification award. "It was a senseless death. How can you take a life for a piece of wood?" Clements then walked home and changed his clothes. When University Park police arrived, they found the master landscaper in his garage with the door open. "I knew you were coming for me," he told police, according to Denmark. "That's why I changed my clothes. I knew you were coming for me." Neighbors were shocked that such deadly violence could have stemmed from a minor fight. "It hurt me pretty bad, to see a person killed over something so petty," said Joanne Byers, who lives across the street from where Funches died. Funches had two children, ages 1 and 4, with another due to be born in August, his mother said. Byers said her own son had a run-in with Clements, once accidentally stepping on the man's grass while walking and chatting on his cell phone. "Man, he popped out and called, 'Hey watch it _ watch it!' " said Byers. Judge Marzell Richardson ordered Clements, who has no criminal history, held in lieu of $3 million bond Tuesday on first and second-degree murder charges. He noted that Clements allegedly told his victim he would be found innocent if arrested.
Posts: 41,021

05-14-2010, 09:12 AM	#20
Cannibal Better to burn out... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Bible Thumping Country Casino cash: $10010618	The kid should've back away slowly, apologized and went home and called the cops.
Posts: 9,306

05-14-2010, 09:22 AM	#22
Radar Chief Wearing ballistic dog goggles. Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: In the box. Casino cash: $2851503	I’d think it common sense to not dare an armed Marine to shoot you. __________________ Like "Cool Hand" Luke I'm busting rocks. __/\|_/[___] \|/ \\_\| ---OllllO _( ))~-( ))-0--))
Posts: 25,543

05-14-2010, 09:26 AM	#23
Brock Say hello to my little friend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $9598422	Come back when he's asleep and burn his house down, I always say.
Posts: 47,314

05-14-2010, 09:35 AM	#26
boogblaster MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Verdigris Valley Campsite Casino cash: $10004900	he should of chopped up the evidence and used it for fetilizer ..... __________________ WR or S please
Posts: 10,305

05-14-2010, 09:39 AM	#28
Cannibal Better to burn out... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Bible Thumping Country Casino cash: $10010618	[QUOTE=Bwana;6758271]Yeah, I think a couple gallons of Roundup would have beed a good way to even the score myself. Nice.
Posts: 9,306