I am a GOOD American

I am your best friend. I am a GOOD American.

I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks. I believe that the money I make belongs to me and my family, but I recognize that it is to my benefit if as many people as possible get fed, clothed, and get a good education, so I don’t mind having to pay taxes. I recognize that I live in a society that makes it possible for me to live so nicely, and I’m ok with giving back to that society.

I am in touch with my feelings. I know who I am. I’m not afraid of facing the truth, even when it is ugly. I don’t believe that anyone has ever died because of something that Ozzy Osbourne sang, though I recognize that children are impressionable, so I do my best to be a good role model for those who might look for me to be one. I don’t believe that owning a gun makes you a killer, though I have no problem with gun control. I think licensing handguns is a good idea that would hurt nobody but the lazy, and that if you think that licensing is the first step to confiscation, then you really don’t know what America is all about. Don’t tread on me with your ignorance.

I don’t think that being a minority makes you noble or victimized, but I recognize that this country was built in large part by slaves who paid the way for a lot of the rich families of this country. Like I said before, I’m not afraid of facing the truth, even when it is ugly. I realize that this land was stolen from the Indians who lived on it before us. I think it’s a shame when people marginalize the sacrifices that the American Indians gave up for this great country.

I believe that graduating from college is the best thing you can do for yourself, and I don’t care how you pay for it. I believe that anyone who really wants to graduate from college can… Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Don’t come crying to me because you trapped yourself in a factory job and bought a really cool car before you put a serious investment in yourself. But don’t worry, I pay taxes to help people like you if you did. And I’m more than happy to do so, sitting in my office with a view, and diplomas on the wall.

I believe that my daughter is just as smart as your son. She could probably kick his *** too, if she put her mind to it. And it will be over my dead body that you deny her of the same opportunities that your son should enjoy. This is America, and females are Americans too.

I am happy to see that President Bush is doing his weekly addresses in both English and Spanish. America is the land of the diverse, and if you can’t handle that, then you are in the wrong place. I'm against the weekly presidential radio address being in ebonics though.

I am my own hero. I don’t need to look to anyone but my God, myself, and my family for strength. I like watching television, but I’m not going to make fictional characters my heroes. You can pretend that you’re John Wayne if you want. My little son thinks that he’s a cowboy too. When he gets old enough, he’ll realize that there is no such thing as a cowboy anymore… Just farmers, and God bless them all.

I believe that every vote should count, and I’m not fooled by the results of this last election. I’ll accept it, but I believe the next time we should actually VOTE the president in. It was a tough situation, and I can see both sides. I’m not going to pretend that one side or the other was wrong or right, but I will say that the Supreme Court shouldn’t have acted so visibly biased. The solutions are out there if you bother to look for them in every instance, including this one.

You can be proud of yourself for being a BAD American if that’s what you are. I’ll choose to be proud of being a GOOD American, because that’s what I am.