Chiefs The night before Chiefsmas

Hammock Parties · 09-06-2014, 10:42 PM

'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead
No one had a clue to beat the Titans, and the franchise was dead.

But helmets were hung in their lockers with fear
In hopes that Fat Andy had not drunk too much beer.

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of checkdowns danced in their heads;

And Dorsey in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown
Had just settled down after drinking the town

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the press box I flew like a flash,
Tore open the gate, past Hali smoking hash.

The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass
Made me think of a god awful Alex Smith pass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here!

With an old coach, so fat, with a great big gut!
Yes, it was Andy, who jiggled his barbecue butt.

More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them with shame.

"Now, Alex! Now Avery! Now, Parker and Smith!
On, Fisher! On Fulton! On Allen and whoever the **** is starting at right tackle!

You all ****ing suck! You can't ****ing ball!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn!
The players ran off, to avoid Fat Andy's scorn.

And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come.
It was Fat Andy and the Chiefs, even before the sun!

As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around,
Down the aisle Fat Andy came with a thunderous bound.

He was dressed all in red, yes, he looked overweight.
And said, "The Titans are going to kill us, bring on your hate."

A bundle of ribs he had tucked under his arm.
He promised, he'd eat them, after Alex bought the farm.

Said Andy: Alex will throw 40 passes, for a total of 100 yards.
We won't win at Arrowhead, I'd rather just go play cards.

Have you seen the Titans defense, and their monster Jurrell Casey?
Alex will run for his life, his escapes will be quite hasty.

Anyway, we don't have Bowe, but we've got this guy named Hammond.
But that's just because our GM sucks, and should have his head examined.

Meanwhile, our new offensive line will surely make our QB fall.
But Alex doesn't care, he's got some three yard passes for us all!

Did you know with his new contract, he bought a sweet new land rover?
He's actually betting on the Titans, here's a hint: take the over!

Fat Andy then closed his playbook, and got back on the bus
He added, "by the way, Alex's throwing arm is full bloody pus."

"Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be really loud!
"But when we're down by three touchdowns, their heads will be bowed."

He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all drove, ready for the rout.

But I heard Fat Andy exclaim, thinking just how the Chiefs had sucked.

"JUST GIVE ME A TOP TEN PICK, CUS BOY THIS TEAM IS ****ED!"

09-06-2014, 10:42 PM	Topic Starter
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $4130478	The night before Chiefsmas 'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead No one had a clue to beat the Titans, and the franchise was dead. But helmets were hung in their lockers with fear In hopes that Fat Andy had not drunk too much beer. The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of checkdowns danced in their heads; And Dorsey in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown Had just settled down after drinking the town When out on the field there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the press box I flew like a flash, Tore open the gate, past Hali smoking hash. The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass Made me think of a god awful Alex Smith pass. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here! With an old coach, so fat, with a great big gut! Yes, it was Andy, who jiggled his barbecue butt. More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them with shame. "Now, Alex! Now Avery! Now, Parker and Smith! On, Fisher! On Fulton! On Allen and whoever the ** is starting at right tackle! You all ing suck! You can't ing ball! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn! The players ran off, to avoid Fat Andy's scorn. And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come. It was Fat Andy and the Chiefs, even before the sun! As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around, Down the aisle Fat Andy came with a thunderous bound. He was dressed all in red, yes, he looked overweight. And said, "The Titans are going to kill us, bring on your hate." A bundle of ribs he had tucked under his arm. He promised, he'd eat them, after Alex bought the farm. Said Andy: Alex will throw 40 passes, for a total of 100 yards. We won't win at Arrowhead, I'd rather just go play cards. Have you seen the Titans defense, and their monster Jurrell Casey? Alex will run for his life, his escapes will be quite hasty. Anyway, we don't have Bowe, but we've got this guy named Hammond. But that's just because our GM sucks, and should have his head examined. Meanwhile, our new offensive line will surely make our QB fall. But Alex doesn't care, he's got some three yard passes for us all! Did you know with his new contract, he bought a sweet new land rover? He's actually betting on the Titans, here's a hint: take the over! Fat Andy then closed his playbook, and got back on the bus He added, "by the way, Alex's throwing arm is full bloody pus." "Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be really loud! "But when we're down by three touchdowns, their heads will be bowed." He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout, And away they all drove, ready for the rout. But I heard Fat Andy exclaim, thinking just how the Chiefs had sucked. "JUST GIVE ME A TOP TEN PICK, CUS BOY THIS TEAM IS **ED!"
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