Ten Things About Today's Game Week 7: KC 43 - Donks 16

[gblowfish]

Ten Things About Today’s Game Week 7: KC 43, Donks 16

10. Friday at work I wasn’t feeling real well. The furnace maintenance guy came by the house on Thursday and stirred up a bunch of dust and stuff; and on Friday I had watery eyes, scratchy throat and my ears were hurting a bit. I’ve got crazy allergies, and I’ve had this happen before when we turn the furnace on for the first time in the fall season. So the last couple days I’ve been telling my wife “No, it’s not Covid dear…” and been taking Claritin and popping Advil like they were M&Ms. Yesterday I thoroughly enjoyed my favorite Saturday Cartoon -Kansas Jayhawk Football- (sorry Beakers) then enjoyed watching my Mizzou Tigers actually win back to back SEC games with an impressive win over the Fighting McConnells. I was thinking a win at Pile High would be the perfect weekend Trifecta, and the boys didn’t disappoint. At kickoff I had the ghost of Bill Grigby in my brain: “16 Degrees with swirling snowflakes and a wind chill of Zero…BEAU-TI-FUL day for football…” and so it was. It’s much more fun sitting in front of a big ass TV 600 miles away with a cold drink in my hand and a fuzzy kitten in my lap than freezing my Rocky Mountain Oysters in a socially distanced fertilizer heap like “Whatever the Hell Donk Stadium is Called Now.” I have a standing invitation from a good friend who lives in Denver to go out there for a game anytime I want. That offer was made last year before the Rona. It was pretty damn funny to see all the South Park Character Cutouts in the stands, I will say that. For the 5300 people who showed up, better you than me, brother. Picture of my kitten Tony G watching the game is attached.

9. This was one of those games where stats don’t tell much of the story. It was a statistically odd game. Look at this for example: Donks had over 400 yards of offense and ran up 254 passing and 177 rushing. KC was zip for eight on third down. Keizer had more receiving yards than Kelce. CEH had less than 50 yards rushing. KC’s offense was only able to muster up three TDs, and one of those was by our backup QB. That all looks ugly. And if Buttkicker doesn’t whiff on his fifth XPA of the season, Chiefs win by four full TDs. Crazy.

8. The really great thing about the current Chiefs -and something we all need to appreciate because it doesn’t happen very often- is they can find infinite number of ways to win, in all kinds of weather. We’ve seen Patrick bomb teams into submission. We’ve seen CEH run the ball down the other team’s throat like last week against the Bills. And this week, it was three big factors: 1) Defense generating four Donk turnovers, including Dirty Dan’s 50 yard Pick Six; 2) Special Teams finally show up big -Buttkicker hits three field goals in the snow and Byron Pringle -that Bad Ass KSU Wildcat- burns off a 102 yard kickoff return that looked like what Mercole Hardman was supposed to be like; 3) Denver is hapless. The botched flea flicker to Frank Clark, the botched on-side kick to Robinson -who looked like Bobby Bell from the 1960s- and the Donks are zero for the entire frickin’ season on fourth down conversions. I would hope Horse Face would keep Fangio around for many more years, because that guy is clueless. The fun is going to start when the Donk fans start to turn on Horse Face and hang him in effigy from that Gelding Statue in the end zone.

7. Defense had some big plays, but also had problems stopping the run, especially in the first half. K-Pass is giving up the edge way too much; you could tell they were missing Okafor. Honey Badger had a pick fall right in his lap, then ran around like Daffy Duck for about ten yards. The Rolla Rookie Wharton ripped a fumble out from Melvin Gordon. Ward got a nice QB sack on Lock on a double safety blitz. Fenton got there at the same time and put the sandwich on him. Lock looked a lot like Mizzou Drew Lock against Georgia or Alabama; once you knock him around he starts missing receivers and putting the ball up for grabs, ala Dirty Dan’s pick six. K-Pass sacked him on the play prior. Speaking of Dirty Dan…

6. Special spot in the Ten Things this week for some Dirty Dan love. Not only was the pick six perfectly executed, Dan knocked the day living Steve Atwater out of Lindsey about two minutes before halftime. Lindsey was seeing tweety birds the rest of the game and did not return. Sorensen was playing like the Donks insulted the Mormon Church today. His best day ever as a Chief.

5. Before you guys go out to KCI and try to drag Keizer by his thumbs to the Greyhound Station, OK, he had a bad fumble that could have flipped the game momentum. Denver took the short field and scored a TD, but McManus went all Buttkicker and missed the XPA. But that was early, and he did make a nice catch in the second half to sustain a drive. He actually out gained Kelce in this one. So before we start pining for Incompletrius Harris, let’s cut the kid a little slack. Season isn't even halfway over yet.

4. Pat threw for 200 yards in the snow, which is OK for a game like today. He also threw a TD to Tyreek to stretch his game streak with a TD pass to 17 straight. No picks, but he was sacked three times. Seemed like Chubb was left to run unblocked right to the QB a couple times. Considering our line is still patchwork, the offense did pretty well until they got down inside the twenty. Denver has really good scoring zone defense for some reason. It’s about the only thing they do well.

3. Things got so bad for the Donks, we showed them our Henne! Not only that; they had us stopped for a field goal, and Shelby Harris for the Donks started screaming and pointing at one of the refs. Ref flagged him, Chiefs got the ball first down on the four, and Henne bootleged for his first TD since 2014! Mitch on the Chiefs Broadcast said “Henne is channeling his inner Lamar Jackson…” I was just relieved that with seven minutes left in the game Andy could get all the important players off the field so nobody got hurt. And a lot of the backup guys got some important real game speed plays in. Chiefs only had one penalty, a personal foul for throwing a Donk out of bounds.

2. CEH had a very nice rushing TD on the first drive. If you watch that play, he shakes off the first tackler, then three Donks converge and he blows right through them. He should have had a second TD on a short pass from Patrick in the second half, but he dropped it. First scrimmage play for Lev Bell was a 16 yard run. He’s going to be great on goal line, and they’ll use him more as he gets comfortable in the system. It’s going to be a really good one-two punch. And he’s got plenty of tread on the tires. Excellent move by Veach to get him in the fold.

1. So, Chiefs out to 6-1, and pick up a game on the Las Vegas Covids thanks to Tommy Boy and Gronk. Bolts got their first win under Herbie -I’m afraid that kid is going to be good- but for the time being we’ve opened up a two game lead in Division with the NY Jets up next at Arrowhead. We ought to give Lev Bell the ball 40 times in that one, just so he can grudge f**k his old team. Steelers at 6-0 barely get by the Tits today, but I’m pretty sure the AFC North teams are going to start feeding on one another, which should help our cause for chasing the only playoff bye this year. Things are looking very good. Hey, we hung a 40 burger on the Donks in their house. Sunday doesn’t get much sweeter than that!