The last moments of Rain Man

**Rain Man** · 02-15-2004, 03:43 PM

I had to offer up a condensed version in the main flight writeup, but for those of you who want more detail, here's an eyewitness account.

"Rain Man hit the water seamlessly, sliding between the waves like a razor blade through meringue. Concerned about his men, he had chosen not to open his parachute so he could reach the sea faster and be ready to help anyone who needed it.

As he hit, he let the water engulf him and slow his great speed, until he achieved neutral buoyancy 75 feet feet below the surface. With powerful strokes, he swam back to the surface, and scouted the situation.

The English Channel was stormy that day, with 20 and 30 foot waves crashing over anything that found itself in their path. Buffeted by their powerful forces, Rain Man battled nature while he scanned the sky for parachutes.

There they were! Spread over a several-mile range, nine other parachutes floated down to the rough seas. One item, plummeting much faster, was also recognizable: the B-17's life rafts. Rain Man had scavenged them from the bomb bay and handed them out to the crew just before he jumped.

He swam to where the rafts landed, and retrieved the floating packages. With no pump handly, he blew up the 4 three-person rafts using just his lungpower. He towed them to the nearest parachutes almost a quarter-mile away, and pushed his engineer and bombardier aboard. "Stay here," he ordered them. "I'll find the others."

He swam in ever larger circles around the rafts, seeking his fellow crew members. One mile out, he located his copilot, navigator, and radio operator, all already drowned. One at a time, he dragged each body back to the boat, using the transit time to compose letters to their families on a notebook that he held out of the water.

Beginning the search pattern again, he located his tail gunner, ball turret gunner, and right waist gunner, all dead amidst the waves that no normal human could withstand. Again, he towed each body back to the boat, composing letters along the way. Noting that his tail gunner had not polished his boots before takeoff, Rain Man took care of that detail as well. After all, a man can't have dirty boots at his own funeral.

Only the left waist gunner was still missing. Rain Man swam further, leaving the English Channel and entering the North Sea. He knew the directions of the currents well, and followed the most likely path that a body could take.

An Fw190 appeared on the horizon! Recognizing his duty to country, Rain Man pulled his service revolver out of his flight jacket, carefully aimed, and -

Nothing! The weapon and bullets were soaked and useless!

Well, almost useless. Rain Man waved at the fighter plane to draw its attention, then dove underwater as the plane circled to strafe him. Bullets struck the water in all directions. Calculating the speed of the bullets from their underwater trajectories, and familiar with the technical attributes of the Fw190, Rain Man calculated the expected speed of the plane toward his position. At just the right moment, he surfaced.

The Fw190 was only a hundred feet above the water, coming in at 200 miles per hour. Rain Man burst from the water and threw the pistol into the air. With a crunching sound it collided with the propeller of the plane, destroying it and causing the plane to impact the water just fifty feet beyond where Rain Man dog paddled. The plane bounced and skipped, coming to rest a quarter-mile away.

By the time Rain Man reached the downed plane, the pilot had already lumbered out onto the wing. He was one of Hitler's greatest creations, seven feet and 350 pounds of solid Nazi muscle. He had a bazooka with him, and a machine gun, and he let loose with both. Rain Man dove, dodged, and all the while swam forward. Grasping the wing of the floating plane, he flipped himself onto its surface, then disarmed the giant Nazi with two well-placed judo chops. With the third, the Nazi fell overboard, slowly sinking to Davy Jones' locker with four snapped neck vertebrae.

Retrieving the body, Rain Man stowed it in the back of the plane, then wrote a quick letter to the man's parents in high German, citing that the man had died a brave death even if he died as an enemy. Unable to resist, Rain Man added a short but well-conceived treatise about the fundamental flaws of Nazism, and why it was untenable in the long run.

Working quickly, Rain Man harvested extra grease from the landing gear system and used it to make the plane watertight. He reconfigured the engine and replaced the propeller with a piece of driftwood, creating a rough but usable motorboat in the process. The makeshift boat was capable of 25 knots, increasing to 27 after a quick tuneup.

Heading back out to sea, Rain Man located the left waist gunner's body, motored it back to the lifeboats, and pinned the letter home to his body. Knowing that the left waist gunner had Norwegian roots, he left both English and Norwegian copies, along with a Latin version that could easily be translated into any Romance language.

He gave the plane/motorboat to his comrades, and set out swimming again, this time toward France. The last he had seen of Gunther's Thunder II, it was heading south with a payload of bombs. He had orders to bomb Meaulte, and that meant finding those bombs and delivering them to their target, even if it meant carrying them one by one from the crash site...

Sadly, at that point, some French woman dropped her toaster into the water on the French coast. Not even Rain Man could survive that."

And that, my friends, is how we lost Rain Man, the pilot of Gunther's Thunder II.

02-15-2004, 03:43 PM	Topic Starter
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-672449 VARSITY	The last moments of Rain Man I had to offer up a condensed version in the main flight writeup, but for those of you who want more detail, here's an eyewitness account. "Rain Man hit the water seamlessly, sliding between the waves like a razor blade through meringue. Concerned about his men, he had chosen not to open his parachute so he could reach the sea faster and be ready to help anyone who needed it. As he hit, he let the water engulf him and slow his great speed, until he achieved neutral buoyancy 75 feet feet below the surface. With powerful strokes, he swam back to the surface, and scouted the situation. The English Channel was stormy that day, with 20 and 30 foot waves crashing over anything that found itself in their path. Buffeted by their powerful forces, Rain Man battled nature while he scanned the sky for parachutes. There they were! Spread over a several-mile range, nine other parachutes floated down to the rough seas. One item, plummeting much faster, was also recognizable: the B-17's life rafts. Rain Man had scavenged them from the bomb bay and handed them out to the crew just before he jumped. He swam to where the rafts landed, and retrieved the floating packages. With no pump handly, he blew up the 4 three-person rafts using just his lungpower. He towed them to the nearest parachutes almost a quarter-mile away, and pushed his engineer and bombardier aboard. "Stay here," he ordered them. "I'll find the others." He swam in ever larger circles around the rafts, seeking his fellow crew members. One mile out, he located his copilot, navigator, and radio operator, all already drowned. One at a time, he dragged each body back to the boat, using the transit time to compose letters to their families on a notebook that he held out of the water. Beginning the search pattern again, he located his tail gunner, ball turret gunner, and right waist gunner, all dead amidst the waves that no normal human could withstand. Again, he towed each body back to the boat, composing letters along the way. Noting that his tail gunner had not polished his boots before takeoff, Rain Man took care of that detail as well. After all, a man can't have dirty boots at his own funeral. Only the left waist gunner was still missing. Rain Man swam further, leaving the English Channel and entering the North Sea. He knew the directions of the currents well, and followed the most likely path that a body could take. An Fw190 appeared on the horizon! Recognizing his duty to country, Rain Man pulled his service revolver out of his flight jacket, carefully aimed, and - Nothing! The weapon and bullets were soaked and useless! Well, almost useless. Rain Man waved at the fighter plane to draw its attention, then dove underwater as the plane circled to strafe him. Bullets struck the water in all directions. Calculating the speed of the bullets from their underwater trajectories, and familiar with the technical attributes of the Fw190, Rain Man calculated the expected speed of the plane toward his position. At just the right moment, he surfaced. The Fw190 was only a hundred feet above the water, coming in at 200 miles per hour. Rain Man burst from the water and threw the pistol into the air. With a crunching sound it collided with the propeller of the plane, destroying it and causing the plane to impact the water just fifty feet beyond where Rain Man dog paddled. The plane bounced and skipped, coming to rest a quarter-mile away. By the time Rain Man reached the downed plane, the pilot had already lumbered out onto the wing. He was one of Hitler's greatest creations, seven feet and 350 pounds of solid Nazi muscle. He had a bazooka with him, and a machine gun, and he let loose with both. Rain Man dove, dodged, and all the while swam forward. Grasping the wing of the floating plane, he flipped himself onto its surface, then disarmed the giant Nazi with two well-placed judo chops. With the third, the Nazi fell overboard, slowly sinking to Davy Jones' locker with four snapped neck vertebrae. Retrieving the body, Rain Man stowed it in the back of the plane, then wrote a quick letter to the man's parents in high German, citing that the man had died a brave death even if he died as an enemy. Unable to resist, Rain Man added a short but well-conceived treatise about the fundamental flaws of Nazism, and why it was untenable in the long run. Working quickly, Rain Man harvested extra grease from the landing gear system and used it to make the plane watertight. He reconfigured the engine and replaced the propeller with a piece of driftwood, creating a rough but usable motorboat in the process. The makeshift boat was capable of 25 knots, increasing to 27 after a quick tuneup. Heading back out to sea, Rain Man located the left waist gunner's body, motored it back to the lifeboats, and pinned the letter home to his body. Knowing that the left waist gunner had Norwegian roots, he left both English and Norwegian copies, along with a Latin version that could easily be translated into any Romance language. He gave the plane/motorboat to his comrades, and set out swimming again, this time toward France. The last he had seen of Gunther's Thunder II, it was heading south with a payload of bombs. He had orders to bomb Meaulte, and that meant finding those bombs and delivering them to their target, even if it meant carrying them one by one from the crash site... Sadly, at that point, some French woman dropped her toaster into the water on the French coast. Not even Rain Man could survive that." And that, my friends, is how we lost Rain Man, the pilot of Gunther's Thunder II.
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