Hypothetical: You're the coach of a Little League team.

**Rain Man** · 07-19-2005, 08:51 PM

You're the Coach of a team of 10-year olds that are sponsored by the local topless bar, Fleshy's. Your team, the Bouncers, is in the championship game, due in no small measure to the performance of your star player, Winky Vanderbeen. Winky has been hitting .800 with a slugging percentage of 2.400. On the mound, he's been practically unhittable, with an ERA of 0.27. Even better, he's a nice kid. Other coaches have been offering you their wives and teenage twin daughters to trade Winky, but you won't do it.

The rest of your team is a mix of weak to solid players, most of whom try hard. Overall, you like the team and they're good sports.

Your weakest player is a kid named Stone Savage. Stone is a sensitive kid who likes to read Whitman when he's in the outfield. He's playing Little League to please his father, and he puts forth a good, solid effort. He knows the rules and he doesn't mind playing baseball and he's relatively popular with the other kids, but plain and simple, he stinks at baseball. His batting average for the year is .145, thanks to a few fluke singles, and he's reached base a few times on errors or walks. Nonetheless, your policy is to let every kid play, so he has received a reasonable share of playing time.

Anyway, we're back to the championship game. It's the bottom of the ninth, two outs, you're down 4-3, and you have a kid on second. (It's Lester Periwinkle, an average outfielder and occasional backup third baseman, though you don't like to use him there.) The other team has a moderately strong pitcher on the mound, but their ace bowed out in the sixth because of an orthodontist appointment.

You're feeling pretty good about this position, because Winky has not shown up for some reason, which is quite unlike him.

Stone is due up to bat. He's been on the bench the entire game, and hasn't had the opportunity to play.

Before Stone can get up to the plate, a car comes screeching into the parking lot, and Winky flies out of it. He had been playing in a basketball championship game that had gone into triple overtime, and he had to stay in to take (and make) the winning shot. Winky comes running to the dugout, utilizing what will eventually be 4.4. speed. He's now available to be a pinch hitter.

Do you let Winky bat, or do you let Stone bat? Please defend your position.

View Poll Results: Who gets to bat? (See thread header.)
Winky. He's eligible, and the team deserves to have their best chance at winning.	6	50.00%
Stone. He's been there the whole game, waiting patiently for his turn.	5	41.67%
Neither. I'd forfeit. Keeping score is barbaric.	0	0%
I'd pay Winky to hit Stone in the groin with a baseball.	1	8.33%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll

07-19-2005, 08:51 PM	Topic Starter
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $2758491 VARSITY	Hypothetical: You're the coach of a Little League team. You're the Coach of a team of 10-year olds that are sponsored by the local topless bar, Fleshy's. Your team, the Bouncers, is in the championship game, due in no small measure to the performance of your star player, Winky Vanderbeen. Winky has been hitting .800 with a slugging percentage of 2.400. On the mound, he's been practically unhittable, with an ERA of 0.27. Even better, he's a nice kid. Other coaches have been offering you their wives and teenage twin daughters to trade Winky, but you won't do it. The rest of your team is a mix of weak to solid players, most of whom try hard. Overall, you like the team and they're good sports. Your weakest player is a kid named Stone Savage. Stone is a sensitive kid who likes to read Whitman when he's in the outfield. He's playing Little League to please his father, and he puts forth a good, solid effort. He knows the rules and he doesn't mind playing baseball and he's relatively popular with the other kids, but plain and simple, he stinks at baseball. His batting average for the year is .145, thanks to a few fluke singles, and he's reached base a few times on errors or walks. Nonetheless, your policy is to let every kid play, so he has received a reasonable share of playing time. Anyway, we're back to the championship game. It's the bottom of the ninth, two outs, you're down 4-3, and you have a kid on second. (It's Lester Periwinkle, an average outfielder and occasional backup third baseman, though you don't like to use him there.) The other team has a moderately strong pitcher on the mound, but their ace bowed out in the sixth because of an orthodontist appointment. You're feeling pretty good about this position, because Winky has not shown up for some reason, which is quite unlike him. Stone is due up to bat. He's been on the bench the entire game, and hasn't had the opportunity to play. Before Stone can get up to the plate, a car comes screeching into the parking lot, and Winky flies out of it. He had been playing in a basketball championship game that had gone into triple overtime, and he had to stay in to take (and make) the winning shot. Winky comes running to the dugout, utilizing what will eventually be 4.4. speed. He's now available to be a pinch hitter. Do you let Winky bat, or do you let Stone bat? Please defend your position.
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