Memo: Planet Christmas Party

4th and Long · 08:33 AM

December 1st TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I'm happy to inform you that The Planet Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing along. Don't be surprised if Phobia shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among Planet Members can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director
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December 2nd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish members. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to all Planet Members who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director
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December 3rd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, please disregard the previous memo about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the Union members feel that $20 is too much money.

4th and Long - Planet Human Researchers Director
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December 7th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

4th and Long - Planet Human Racehorses Director
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December 8th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

People, people, - nothing sinister was intended by wanting Phil to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

4th and Long - Planet Human Ratraces Director
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December 9th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

Vegetarians!!! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not!!! You can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get the salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha!!!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday!!!
Drive drunk and die!!! Do you hear me!!!?

The Asshole in Charge of the Party
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December 10th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing 4th and Long a speedy recovery from his stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to him at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone 1000 points of rep instead.

- htismaqe

12-10-2005, 08:26 AM	Topic Starter
4th and Long Wheeeeee!!! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a house Casino cash: $8194925	Memo: Planet Christmas Party December 1st TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS I'm happy to inform you that The Planet Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing along. Don't be surprised if Phobia shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among Planet Members can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20. Merry Christmas to you and your family. 4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- December 2nd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish members. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to all Planet Members who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family. 4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- December 3rd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, please disregard the previous memo about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the Union members feel that $20 is too much money. 4th and Long - Planet Human Researchers Director -------------------------------------------------------------------- December 7th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now? 4th and Long - Planet Human Racehorses Director -------------------------------------------------------------------- December 8th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS People, people, - nothing sinister was intended by wanting Phil to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit." 4th and Long - Planet Human Ratraces Director ---------------------------------------------------------------------- December 9th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS Vegetarians!!! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not!!! You can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get the salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha!!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!!! Drive drunk and die!!! Do you hear me!!!? The Asshole in Charge of the Party ------------------------------------------------------------------- December 10th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing 4th and Long a speedy recovery from his stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to him at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone 1000 points of rep instead. - htismaqe Last edited by 4th and Long; 12-10-2005 at 08:33 AM..
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