Chiefs The Night Before The Ravens

Hammock Parties · 09-12-2009, 08:43 PM

'Twas the night before the Ravens, when all through Baltimore

Crimes were being committed, some involving a whore.

Red helmets were hung in their lockers with care

In hopes that Todd Haley soon would be there

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of an upset danced in their heads;

And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown

Had just settled down after drinking the town

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the press box I flew like a flash,

Tore open the gate, past the guard smoking hash.

The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass

Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here!

With an angry coach, often called a m'fin prick

Of course it was Haley, god, what a dick!

More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Albert! now, Bowe! now, Cassel and Johnson!

On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Johnson!

To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

So back to the locker room, the players they ran,

With the bus full of balls, minus that reerun Chan.

And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come.

It was Haley and the Chiefs, even before the sun!

As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around,

Down the aisle came Haley came with a bound.

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his toe,

And said, hey, are you "Chiefs," first name, "Go?"

A bundle of plays he had tucked under his arm,

He promised, to the Ravens, they would do great harm.

Said Haley: Lewis is old, and moves like a slug,

We'll let loose Charles, our quick waterbug!

Have you seen Baltimore's corners, they're really quite small!

Bowe will catch the pass and run them over, all!

And guess what happens when Flacco drops to pass?

Gaither is overrated, and Hali sacks that ass!

Ngata's just a fat boy, and even though Goff sucks,

We'll run to the left, plow right over those purple ****s!

Don't worry about Cassel's knee, it's all part of the plan,

Especially now that I've taken over for Chan!

Just for you, Larry will score, the Ravens can't stop him,

Why, he was the last back to go over a 100 yards rushin!

Haley then closed his playbook, got back on the bus

He added, "by the way, you're kind of a wuss."

"Also, even though this battle may be heated,"

"Did you know this team, in this town, is quite undefeated?"

He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout,

And away they all drove, ready for the bout.

But I heard Haley exclaim, as he drew up more passes,

"I'M A M'FIN PRICK! LET'S KICK THE RAVENS' ASSES!"

09-12-2009, 08:43 PM	Topic Starter
Hammock Parties I'll be back. Join Date: Nov 2002 Casino cash: $800478	The Night Before The Ravens 'Twas the night before the Ravens, when all through Baltimore Crimes were being committed, some involving a whore. Red helmets were hung in their lockers with care In hopes that Todd Haley soon would be there The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of an upset danced in their heads; And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown Had just settled down after drinking the town When out on the field there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the press box I flew like a flash, Tore open the gate, past the guard smoking hash. The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here! With an angry coach, often called a m'fin prick Of course it was Haley, god, what a dick! More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Albert! now, Bowe! now, Cassel and Johnson! On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Johnson! To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" So back to the locker room, the players they ran, With the bus full of balls, minus that reerun Chan. And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come. It was Haley and the Chiefs, even before the sun! As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around, Down the aisle came Haley came with a bound. He was dressed all in red, from his head to his toe, And said, hey, are you "Chiefs," first name, "Go?" A bundle of plays he had tucked under his arm, He promised, to the Ravens, they would do great harm. Said Haley: Lewis is old, and moves like a slug, We'll let loose Charles, our quick waterbug! Have you seen Baltimore's corners, they're really quite small! Bowe will catch the pass and run them over, all! And guess what happens when Flacco drops to pass? Gaither is overrated, and Hali sacks that ass! Ngata's just a fat boy, and even though Goff sucks, We'll run to the left, plow right over those purple ****s! Don't worry about Cassel's knee, it's all part of the plan, Especially now that I've taken over for Chan! Just for you, Larry will score, the Ravens can't stop him, Why, he was the last back to go over a 100 yards rushin! Haley then closed his playbook, got back on the bus He added, "by the way, you're kind of a wuss." "Also, even though this battle may be heated," "Did you know this team, in this town, is quite undefeated?" He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout, And away they all drove, ready for the bout. But I heard Haley exclaim, as he drew up more passes, "I'M A M'FIN PRICK! LET'S KICK THE RAVENS' ASSES!"
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