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Old 02-15-2016, 06:34 AM   #1
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Having your heart ripped apart is the worst. Do not go back. Look forward for your kids . Your resolve will be rewarded.
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Old 02-15-2016, 06:48 AM   #2
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I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.

Forgive her

I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.

And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.

If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:22 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Arrowhead Nation View Post
I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.

Forgive her

I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.

And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.

If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.
**** this.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:23 AM   #4
BlackHelicopters BlackHelicopters is offline
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Originally Posted by Arrowhead Nation View Post
I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.

Forgive her

I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.

And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.

If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.


Wake up to reality, asshole.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:38 AM   #5
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Wake up to reality, asshole.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:52 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Arrowhead Nation View Post
I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.

Forgive her

I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.

And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.

If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.
Agreed, marriages are repaired and saved all of the time

As you say... both sides need to be on board, but it happens frequently

I definitely do not agree with "once a cheater, always a cheater"... my ex and I both cheated on each other, and if I am ever lucky enough to find the right girl again, I'll chop off my junk before risking our love for some cheap, fleeting sex
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:00 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Easy 6 View Post
Agreed, marriages are repaired and saved all of the time

As you say... both sides need to be on board, but it happens frequently

I definitely do not agree with "once a cheater, always a cheater"... my ex and I both cheated on each other, and if I am ever lucky enough to find the right girl again, I'll chop off my junk before risking our love for some cheap, fleeting sex
I could never do this. If the woman I love did this to me I'd leave her and never talk to her again.
I would lose all trust.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:32 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Arrowhead Nation View Post
I'm actually going to suggest something that I haven't seen mentioned.

Forgive her

I'm not saying that you guys don't need some counseling, and serious relationship repair, but I know of many couples where the adultery didn't result in divorce. I know that it takes two to tango, but If you really do love her, and your children, then stay and deal with it. Forgiveness isn't about her...it's about you.

And honestly, take a few minutes and think about how powerful the testimony will be on the other side of this. To your future children. To your family. To your friends.

If God forgives us, we can forgive each other.
IMHO, forgiving her is sound advice regardless of whether the relationship is ever repaired. In my experience, forgiveness isn't about letting the offending party off the hook. It's more about my own spiritual, psychological and emotional fitness. It's also a way to claim some control over an uncontrollable situation.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:38 AM   #9
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
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Some of you know that Lumpy and I divorced a few years ago and we have an autistic son together.

Now then, the last thing he needs is people calling her names and telling him to dump her etc.
This is a decision that he needs to make on his own. He's got to take so much into account here.
What happens to his daughter, his income, property etc.
Will the divorce be nasty or not, can they reconcile? Lawyers are expensive.

The biggest mistake she and I made was not trying hard enough. We've since reconciled and now we live together again and could not be happier. We should've got counseling and taken some time apart. If we had, we would've made it without losing thousands of dollars.
Holy shit. I had no idea you guys split. Shows WTF I know.
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:29 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Buehler445 View Post
Holy shit. I had no idea you guys split. Shows WTF I know.
We all suspected before now.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:46 AM   #11
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IMHO, forgiving her is sound advice regardless of whether the relationship is ever repaired. In my experience, forgiveness isn't about letting the offending party off the hook. It's more about my own spiritual, psychological and emotional fitness. It's also a way to claim some control over an uncontrollable situation.
Forgiving my ex-wife has done wonders for every single relationship in my life. Seriously.

And now, we're friends again, my girlfriend and my ex are friends, and most of all, our BS doesn't get in the way of doing the right things for our kid.

Forgiveness is everything.

But I could never actually go back to being in an intimate relationship with my ex- she hurt me too much for any possibility of that ever again. It's okay, I understand and I forgive her... but I could never put myself in that situation again. Probably never get married again.

And that's okay.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:51 AM   #12
KC native KC native is offline
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Forgiving my ex-wife has done wonders for every single relationship in my life. Seriously.

And now, we're friends again, my girlfriend and my ex are friends, and most of all, our BS doesn't get in the way of doing the right things for our kid.

Forgiveness is everything.

But I could never actually go back to being in an intimate relationship with my ex- she hurt me too much for any possibility of that ever again. It's okay, I understand and I forgive her... but I could never put myself in that situation again. Probably never get married again.

And that's okay.
I love it when documented pieces of shit like you think anyone listens to your advice.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:54 AM   #13
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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I love it when documented pieces of shit like you think anyone listens to your advice.
Dude, lighten up. His advice on this is pretty solid.
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Old 02-15-2016, 10:01 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by rabblerouser View Post
Forgiving my ex-wife has done wonders for every single relationship in my life. Seriously.

And now, we're friends again, my girlfriend and my ex are friends, and most of all, our BS doesn't get in the way of doing the right things for our kid.

Forgiveness is everything.

But I could never actually go back to being in an intimate relationship with my ex- she hurt me too much for any possibility of that ever again. It's okay, I understand and I forgive her... but I could never put myself in that situation again. Probably never get married again.

And that's okay.
And don't let this event turn your heart to stone.

You're a good guy, not every woman is untrustworthy.
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Old 02-15-2016, 09:52 AM   #15
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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Originally Posted by ClevelandBronco View Post
IMHO, forgiving her is sound advice regardless of whether the relationship is ever repaired. In my experience, forgiveness isn't about letting the offending party off the hook. It's more about my own spiritual, psychological and emotional fitness. It's also a way to claim some control over an uncontrollable situation.
I need to echo this. No matter the outcome, eventually one needs to move on.
Forgiveness allows this. There is no timetable for forgiveness. But often if you don't, it will do more harm to yourself.
My Wife cheated on me. We got divorced and it ate the hell outa me. I was mad and in the long run the anger was hurting me. I forgave her, and moved on. Today we have a great relationship. We are family. Once you have children together, like it or not, you are family. I know because of this past I became a better man.
Wishing you the best.
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