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Reload this Page Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 2, Match 3 - wazu versus Pablo
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View Poll Results: Who wins?
wazu 19 52.78%
Pablo 17 47.22%
Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-01-2018, 05:48 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 2, Match 3 - wazu versus Pablo
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - A flat plain, no trees for miles in any direction, during a raging violent thunderstorm
Starting Distance - 14494 feet

wazu

Main Weapon - Hatchet
Backup Weapon - Sling shot with 20 golf ball-size stones

Prep Time - 22 seconds
Special Factors - Your hands are handcuffed in front of you

Pablo

Main Weapon - A loop of piano wire with handles and a loud shrill whistle
Backup Weapon - The thigh bone of a large ape

Prep Time - 12 Minutes
Special Factors - None
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Old 08-02-2018, 07:18 AM   #16
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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After hours and hours of looking for each in the violent thunderstorm, Pablo blows his shrill whistle to signal his foe his whereabouts. Little does he realize Wazu is ready to chop wood right behind him..

Winner WAZU
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Old 08-02-2018, 08:18 AM   #17
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Old 08-03-2018, 06:56 AM   #18
wazu wazu is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
Let's see. First things first. HIS HANDS ARE ****ING HANDCUFFED PEOPLE.
Picture a samurai attacking with a 2-handed sword. Do you really think putting handcuffs on him will make a difference? Now picture me doing just what the samurai does, only with a hatchet instead. You can club all you want with that stupid bone. My weapon has a blade and is made for splitting things in half.
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Old 08-03-2018, 09:15 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wazu View Post
Picture a samurai attacking with a 2-handed sword. Do you really think putting handcuffs on him will make a difference? Now picture me doing just what the samurai does, only with a hatchet instead. You can club all you want with that stupid bone. My weapon has a blade and is made for splitting things in half.
Yes. Have you ever had a pair of handcuffs on you for any reason? They're designed to restrict movement. And they do. You need that movement to fight. And a samurai sword actually has reach. Your hatchet is what 18 inches long maybe at best?
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Old 08-03-2018, 09:27 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
Yes. Have you ever had a pair of handcuffs on you for any reason? They're designed to restrict movement. And they do. You need that movement to fight. And a samurai sword actually has reach. Your hatchet is what 18 inches long maybe at best?
It looks like the "thigh bone of a large ape" is only 15" long.

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Old 08-03-2018, 09:28 AM   #21
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I guess you could be thinking "Man, if I had a samurai sword this dude would probably be dead already" as I mercilessly cave your skull in with the thigh bone of a large ape. Instead you've got a limited reach weapon with limited movement because YOUR HANDS ARE HANDCUFFED IN FRONT OF YOU.
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Old 08-03-2018, 01:23 PM   #22
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At the end of the day, wazu has an interesting thin scar around his neck and a femur-shaped dent in his head, but Pablo's hatchet wounds are fatal. wazu moves to Round 3.
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Old 08-03-2018, 10:16 PM   #23
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