This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[Dartgod]

Woman farts in store, pulls knife on offended customer

He smelled it – and she dealt with it.

A Florida woman who passed gas in a convenience store pulled a knife and threatened to “gut” a man who complained about it, police said.

Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. Police arrested her on Sunday and booked her at a detention facility in Pompano Beach, where her bail was set at $2,500.

Police say the alleged colon culprit threatened the customer, John Walker, when he complained about her flatulence while standing in line together at a Dollar General store in Dania Beach, according to an affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald.

Walker got into a verbal argument with Wilson “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” the arrest report states.

Wilson reportedly took a knife out of her purse and threatened to “gut” the man. She held the knife in her right hand and motioned in a way that looked like she was going to stab him, police said.

It was not clear if Wilson had a lawyer.

https://nypost.com/2018/11/29/woman-...customer-cops/

[Mike in SW-MO]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

Woman farts in store, pulls knife on offended customer

He smelled it – and she dealt with it.

A Florida woman who passed gas in a convenience store pulled a knife and threatened to “gut” a man who complained about it, police said.

Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. Police arrested her on Sunday and booked her at a detention facility in Pompano Beach, where her bail was set at $2,500.

Police say the alleged colon culprit threatened the customer, John Walker, when he complained about her flatulence while standing in line together at a Dollar General store in Dania Beach, according to an affidavit obtained by the Miami Herald.

Walker got into a verbal argument with Wilson “in reference to the defendant farting loudly,” the arrest report states.

Wilson reportedly took a knife out of her purse and threatened to “gut” the man. She held the knife in her right hand and motioned in a way that looked like she was going to stab him, police said.

It was not clear if Wilson had a lawyer.

https://nypost.com/2018/11/29/woman-...customer-cops/

Rule #1. Do not bitch at the crazy woman with 2 tear drops tattooed under her eye.

Rule #2. See Rule 1

[displacedinMN]

Shanetta---see Leave her alone thread about bad names.

[Dartgod]

So was the deadly weapon the knife or the fart? Or both?

Shanetta Yvette Wilson, 37, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.

[gblowfish]

A chaotic scene played out in a Publix parking lot in Clermont, Florida, on Wednesday.

According to the Lake County Sheriff’s Office, officers were called out to the supermarket on U.S. Highway 27 over a silver car driving in circles.

When a deputy made contact with the driver, later identified as Mohammad Choudhary, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy and his breath reeked of alcohol, according to the arrest report.

This wasn’t the first 911 call made over this individual. Deputies said an employee from a restaurant nearby had called to report that Choudhary had been kicked out because he was overly intoxicated.

A field sobriety test was conducted, which the 57-year-old failed, authorities say. The officer also observed the “arrestee had urinated himself.”

Apparently Choudhary was not a mean drunk, getting affectionate with the arresting officer, he wrote in the report.

“I tried to hold a conversation with the arrestee and he continuously stated that he loved me over and over.”

The Orlando family doctor was charged with DUI second offense and refusal to submit to a Breathalyzer. He was released on $2,000 bond.

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/sta...#storylink=cpy

[Al Bundy]

Florida Man Tells Neighbors He’s Going to Kill Them With Kindness Then Tries to Kill Them With a Machete He Named “Kindness” (Photos) https://t.co/mEaHXLwHxq pic.twitter.com/7IO5h4dUWg

— Robert Littal (@BSO) January 13, 2019

[displacedinMN]

Severe Allergic Reaction Causes Florida To Swell Up To Twice Normal Size https://t.co/C7WZbr6uqU pic.twitter.com/aghvygF1P9

— The Onion (@TheOnion) January 14, 2019

Does that mean even crazier people??

[MVChiefFan]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

A chaotic scene played out in a Publix parking lot in Clermont, Florida, on Wednesday.

According to the Lake County Sheriff’s Office, officers were called out to the supermarket on U.S. Highway 27 over a silver car driving in circles.

When a deputy made contact with the driver, later identified as Mohammad Choudhary, his eyes were bloodshot and glassy and his breath reeked of alcohol, according to the arrest report.

This wasn’t the first 911 call made over this individual. Deputies said an employee from a restaurant nearby had called to report that Choudhary had been kicked out because he was overly intoxicated.

A field sobriety test was conducted, which the 57-year-old failed, authorities say. The officer also observed the “arrestee had urinated himself.”

Apparently Choudhary was not a mean drunk, getting affectionate with the arresting officer, he wrote in the report.

“I tried to hold a conversation with the arrestee and he continuously stated that he loved me over and over.”

The Orlando family doctor was charged with DUI second offense and refusal to submit to a Breathalyzer. He was released on $2,000 bond.

Read more here: https://www.miamiherald.com/news/sta...#storylink=cpy

I literally lived right behind this Publix last year. A man was shot at the Denny’s right next to it, because of an argument over a parking space. It’s actually a pretty nice area, too. Florida is definitely quite a place... glad I’ve moved back to good old Missouri!

[In58men]

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article...ndness-machete






Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[gblowfish]

Only a Lad....whoa whoah whoah....

https://www.kmbc.com/article/police-...E80sOZGncY9l2E

Authorities say a Florida teen set his mother on fire with a Molotov cocktail and beat her with a baseball bat after she scolded him about sneaking out at night and using social media.

The Sun-Sentinel reports that the woman was treated for severe burns following the Tuesday morning attack at a Davie home. She remained hospitalized Thursday in stable condition.

Police say the 17-year-old boy filled a glass bottle with alcohol, capped it with a rag and threw it into his sleeping mother's bedroom. The woman managed to get outside and call 911. The teen later told investigators he just wanted to hurt his mother, not kill her.

Prosecutors haven't said whether the teen will be charged as a juvenile or an adult.

A public defender says the teen has good grades and no criminal record.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Authorities say a Florida teen set his mother on fire with a Molotov cocktail and beat her with a baseball bat after she scolded him about sneaking out at night and using social media.

A public defender says the teen has good grades and no criminal record.

Well hell that just excuses everything.

[GloryDayz]

Originally Posted by scho63

Well hell that just excuses everything.

Isn't that kind of what racist Fat Mike Brown's racist whore mother tried to say? Well, except for the good grades part...

[Rasputin]

Originally Posted by displacedinMN

Severe Allergic Reaction Causes Florida To Swell Up To Twice Normal Size https://t.co/C7WZbr6uqU pic.twitter.com/aghvygF1P9

— The Onion (@TheOnion) January 14, 2019

Does that mean even crazier people??

America needs to have that looked at could be prostate cancer.

[gblowfish]

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/fishermans...opstories.html

A fisherman prompted the evacuation of a Florida Taco Bell when he put his catch of the day in the trunk of his car and drove to the fast-food restaurant, police said.

The angler, who was not identified, reeled in a rusted WWII hand grenade on Saturday while fishing with a magnet in Ocklawaha, according to police.

Instead of immediately calling for the bomb squad when he pulled in the explosive with other rusted pieces of metal, he put the vintage device in the trunk of his vehicle and drove 17 miles north to a Taco Bell in Ocala, according to the Ocala Police Department.

The fisherman called 911 from the Taco Bell at about 5 p.m. Saturday, triggering an emergency response and the evacuation of the restaurant, police said.

"This has been verified as an authentic WWII hand grenade," the Ocala police posted on Twitter.

A bomb squad responded, removed the grenade from the fisherman's truck and carted it off to dispose of it.

No one was injured during the incident, and the Taco Bell reopened about two hours after the grenade was reported, police said.

[Imon Yourside]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/fishermans...opstories.html

A fisherman prompted the evacuation of a Florida Taco Bell when he put his catch of the day in the trunk of his car and drove to the fast-food restaurant, police said.

The angler, who was not identified, reeled in a rusted WWII hand grenade on Saturday while fishing with a magnet in Ocklawaha, according to police.

Instead of immediately calling for the bomb squad when he pulled in the explosive with other rusted pieces of metal, he put the vintage device in the trunk of his vehicle and drove 17 miles north to a Taco Bell in Ocala, according to the Ocala Police Department.

The fisherman called 911 from the Taco Bell at about 5 p.m. Saturday, triggering an emergency response and the evacuation of the restaurant, police said.

"This has been verified as an authentic WWII hand grenade," the Ocala police posted on Twitter.

A bomb squad responded, removed the grenade from the fisherman's truck and carted it off to dispose of it.

No one was injured during the incident, and the Taco Bell reopened about two hours after the grenade was reported, police said.

Ironically you get a grenade either way visiting a Toxic hell, just a matter of when the gutbomb goes off.