Mansionmania Tournament: Round 1, Heat 25

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by DJ's left nut

You'd spend a decade far too cash-poor for a Gatsby party.

My in-laws spent $100K renovating the inside and adding a nice deck and outdoor kitchen to their 2400 square foot house built in 1986.

You're talking 7 figures to get that place into any kind of modern shape. Then the interest on the inevitable HELOC you're gonna need to finance it is gonna be stout. Not to mention the inevitable decay that comes with a stone castle in that part of the country.

Shit man, you're gonna need $100k in rugs. That place will echo like a tomb. It has like 5 chairs in the whole place. The only way you can make that work is as a B&B and once it becomes a B&B, you're not gonna have people thinking you're fancy enough to throw a Gatsby party.

And in the end you'll be the only guy in Newport driving a 1993 Ford Festiva with mis-matched hub caps.

Per the rules, maintenance is covered, and I can get mid-grade furniture in every room. I'll spend most of my time in Photos 18 and 6, use the rest for jogging in the winter, and I'll hold my Gatsby parties on the lawn in the summer. I can use my stipend to deck out two or three rooms all fancy-like for when the guests need to use the restroom.

Can I live there, Mr. Gatsby?

"Why of course you can!" He looked around him wildly, as if the past were lurking here in the shadow of his house, just out of reach of his hand.

"I'm going to fix everything just the way it was before," I say, nodding determinedly. "She'll see."