Would you change 1 thing about your past if you could?

[comochiefsfan]

I’ve had a tough last couple years. Not going to going to bore you with too many details, but basically had a permanent falling out with some close friends who were very important to me. These people also happened to be coworkers so the circumstances meant a career change was necessary and I had to leave a job that I enjoyed.

It’s been rough since then. I look back at the events of what happened a lot. As weird as it sounds no one was really at fault. I was going through some stuff and they were going through their own shit and communication was bad and eventually before I knew what was going on, we got to a point where things were past the point of no return.

I’m relatively young compared to many here I imagine and I sort of thought that that job and those people were going to be pillars of my life going forward. It all crumbled on me and suddenly i felt like I had no identity. I’ll be honest almost two years later I’m still searching for that purpose again. I think I’m scared that something similar is going to happen to me again and it’s been incredibly difficult to be open with people and trust and all that emotional shit.

Long story short, yeah there are some things I would change there. I have a lot of time ahead of me so I’m sure someday It’ll be just an unfortunate blip in my life, but for now it’s something I constantly dwell on.

But it feels good to get some of that off my chest. Chiefs Planet: Just as good as any of the therapists I’ve been to.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by comochiefsfan

I’ve had a tough last couple years. Not going to going to bore you with too many details, but basically had a permanent falling out with some close friends who were very important to me. These people also happened to be coworkers so the circumstances meant a career change was necessary and I had to leave a job that I enjoyed.

It’s been rough since then. I look back at the events of what happened a lot. As weird as it sounds no one was really at fault. I was going through some stuff and they were going through their own shit and communication was bad and eventually before I knew what was going on, we got to a point where things were past the point of no return.

I’m relatively young compared to many here I imagine and I sort of thought that that job and those people were going to be pillars of my life going forward. It all crumbled on me and suddenly i felt like I had no identity. I’ll be honest almost two years later I’m still searching for that purpose again. I think I’m scared that something similar is going to happen to me again and it’s been incredibly difficult to be open with people and trust and all that emotional shit.

Long story short, yeah there are some things I would change there. I have a lot of time ahead of me so I’m sure someday It’ll be just an unfortunate blip in my life, but for now it’s something I constantly dwell on.

But it feels good to get some of that off my chest. Chiefs Planet: Just as good as any of the therapists I’ve been to.

I feel that.

I left a job if had for a long time because I felt disrespected by one of the owners. I thought he wasn’t retiring for 5 years and I was t waiting on him. It was a pride thing….the prick was my boss and didn’t speak to me for a year so it wasn’t like he was even up my ass. New companies flirted and I eventually was recruited away to something that sounded great…but it’s been chaos since and I know they’re going to screw me. I reached out to my old gig and while the relationship with the new president is great, there is t a spot for me and it’s not an option. Looking back, knowing what I know….id have stayed right where I was and the problem guy will be gone at the end of this year.

I learned that people I thought were good friends were just coworkers I liked for the most part.

Because it’s better to look at the windshield than the rear view….ive learned enough from my mistakes and I’m considering other opportunities that might be a lot better.

You just never know where those mistakes are going to tske you.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

I feel that.

.

I learned that people I thought were good friends were just coworkers I liked for the most part.

This is so true. Companies, especially large ones, try to gaslight you into believing that you are a part of a family and that your coworkers depend on you. They try to manipulate you into becoming attached to the job and the people you interact with instead of treating it what it actually is: an exchange of your time and effort for money. Your real family is at home. Now I'm not saying that people should be miserable asses at work, but see it for what it is, and don't forget that you'll be forgotten and replaced in weeks, if not days.

[comochiefsfan]

Originally Posted by loochy

This is so true. Companies, especially large ones, try to gaslight you into believing that you are a part of a family and that your coworkers depend on you. They try to manipulate you into becoming attached to the job and the people you interact with instead of treating it what it actually is: an exchange of your time and effort for money. Your real family is at home. Now I'm not saying that people should be miserable asses at work, but see it for what it is, and don't forget that you'll be forgotten and replaced in weeks, if not days.

This is exactly what happened to me.

I got hooked in, line and sinker. Young guy working at a large “hip” company surrounded by other young people in the same boat as me. Tons of extracurricular activities and events you actually wanted to go to. It didn’t take long for me to see my coworkers as my real life best friends. Especially since we would do happy hours and hang out on weekends outside of work.

The work was mindless and boring, but the company did a masterful job of making a day of work feel like going to hang out with your friends so you didn’t care how tedious and dull it would’ve been otherwise.

When everything collapsed on me, it was a cruel lesson that if you meet someone through work, as long as you still work with them they are a coworker first and a friend second.

I made the mistake of forgetting the coworker part and entrusting these people like they were lifelong friends. God it still hurts. I absolutely did not handle some things well but to get stabbed in the back by people that told you that you could trust them is just hard.

Brutal life lesson for a stupid naive young man.

It also plunged me into a deep depression that I’m still crawling out of. Plus I neglected my real friends far too often for these phonies because I thought they represented what I wanted my life to be.

Ugh.