On the night before Christmas

[Hammock Parties]

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through ChiefsPlanet
Not a user was posting
Not even an ex-bann-ed

The n00bs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of rep danced in their heads.
With mouse in hand and a comfy chair to sit
I logged onto CP, to read for a bit.

When out in the Romper Room arose such a clatter,
It was JD Prez! Oh what was the matter?
Away to the subforum I flew like a flash
Tore open the thread and posted a bash.

When, what to my wondering eyes should be posted,
But another troll, who was sure to be roasted.
With a horrible post that I found rather rash,
I knew in a moment it must be Tom Cash.

"Now Parker! Now, Rausch! Now, Vlad and Bob Dole!
On, Kotter! On, ENDelt! on, frazod and go bo!
To the top of the forum! to the top of the thread!
Now flame away! Flame away! Flame away all!"

And then, in a twinkling, I saw him log in.
It was an old friendly user, who could raise quite a din.
As I clicked with my mouse, and grinned with a gleam.
Down the forum came Phil, with a message obscene.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old ass!
And I laughed when I saw him, and gave him some sass!
A wink of his eye and a secret PM,
Soon gave me to know he was not a has-been.

He posted not a word, but went straight to his work,
And banned all the trolls, then gave a great smirk.
Quickly he checked out that hot girly thread,
Then posted at last, right before bed.

The planeteers said, "don't leave!" and felt kind of sad.
But Phobia told them things would not be that bad.
Then I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he logged out at last.
"WTF IS GOING ON? I'M GETTIN' SOME ASS!"