Life a question for those divorced with kids... - Page 3

Gracie Dean · 01-05-2009, 06:29 PM

My bro in law was in an aweful 5 year marriage. They had 2 stillborna babies and then finally two beautiful kiddos. The Boy is 5 Today and the little girl is 3 After a very rocky 5 years, they split up for good after being off and on for most of that 5 years.

He joined the Army and is on his way to Iraq in the next few weeks. He is stationed in Washington State and ex lives in Kansas.

He came back on the 22nd of December and stayed till the 3rd of Jan.

X has been pretty relaxed on letting him see the kids when ever he is on leave (as she should because she pretty much gets half of what ever he earns including bonus)

She also lets us see the kiddos when ever we want. We usually get them one weekend a month as we live 2 hours away.

My QUESTION is...

would any x keep you from seeing your kids?

He made no attempt to see his kids at all during the time he was here because "he didn't want to deal with her bullshit" SO...he did not see them for Christmas nor did he spend any time with his son before his birthday

WTF???

crazycoffey · 01-06-2009, 10:40 AM

Long story (sure I shared it about two years ago) - anyway, yes - an x did. flew to dallas, drove down to pick them up and she wouldn't answer the door. filed a police report at the local station, couldn't do anything else about it that day. horrible, flying back home between two empty seats. Anyway, it was awesome when the judge looked at her (female judge too) and said;

"if you ever, for any reason other than a court order, ever ever interfere with him seeing his kids again, I will not hesitate to throw you in jail for three weeks. I don't care if you are a cop."

her response was a wide eyed "yes ma'am."

We were going through other things at the time, it was a mess.

kindra68 · 01-06-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Damn that's sad.

A long but fascinating story of Dr. J and the daughter that he was estranged from for 20+ years, and their recent reconciliation.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/etick...rjandalexandra

naaa Believe me, it was way better that way. I might remember the pain, but he doesn’t.
Some people just aren’t cut out to raise a different abilitied child. Some people can’t stand the thought of their dreams of their son not becoming that high school football hero too much to bear. Heck I wasn’t too worried about him fitting in to my cheerleading skirt, lol, so I was happy with him “as is”

and thanks for the link!

blueballs · 01-06-2009, 11:26 AM

He could question they're his

**TinyEvel** · 01-06-2009, 11:36 AM

Sounds like this guy is just disengaged. Whether he never wanted to have kids, or is dealing with deployment or maybe feelings of being a failed father/husband.

I think if these kids have you in their lives as a source of happiness and guidance and you want to continue that role, talk to the mom about maybe taking them overnight once in a while. I'm sure she'd appreciate the break.

My parents divorced when I was 8. We were almost glad because they fought alot and we figured our house would now be more peaceful. We loved both our parents equally though. Our dad took us every other weekend. It came to a point where he would just pull in the bottom of the driveway and honk the horn, because when he came in they'd fight.

Huffman83 · 01-06-2009, 11:36 AM

A buddy of mine has been in Iraq for the past 3 years. Has a cute little girl. He's recently going to be getting a divorce from an incredibly beautiful, supportive and understanding woman who wants to be w/ him. She just can't deal w/ him.

His attitude to his daughter when he comes back is pretty much "I already missed everything...so I don't care."

His little girl is only 2-3 years old. He's never really been around his little girl. It sucks and breaks my heart.

But he's just got that Bro's before ho's mentality right now. As much as I miss my friend I couldn't bring myself to want to hang out w/ him when he should be home w/ his family.

I don't even have kids and I couldn't do that.

FishingRod · 01-06-2009, 12:29 PM

My X did everything she could to keep me from my kids. I had to take her back to court.

She still tries to do everything she can to keep me away. She tried to not let my son go to my mothers funeral because he has scout camp. She said it was because of the money she had spend so I told her I would pay her back the friggin money if she couldn't get paid back. She then lied about it saying she couldn't get the money and I should pay her back. I made one phone call and found out it was not that way at all. Two months later she tried it again saying they changed the policy and she would have to use the money for scouts so I should pay her the money. I again made one phone call and found out that too was a lie. That is just one example of what kind of person she is. I will not get down in the dirt with her... my kids need one parent with an idea of right and wrong.

Simply Red · 01-06-2009, 12:30 PM

antifreeze?

suds79 · 01-06-2009, 01:09 PM

my brother in law's wife fled the country back to Venezuela with their child. It's pretty sad as he misses his son but he's pretty much screwed.

He's going to end up looking for years.

Gracie Dean · 01-06-2009, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

Sounds like this guy is just disengaged. Whether he never wanted to have kids, or is dealing with deployment or maybe feelings of being a failed father/husband.

I think if these kids have you in their lives as a source of happiness and guidance and you want to continue that role, talk to the mom about maybe taking them overnight once in a while. I'm sure she'd appreciate the break.

My parents divorced when I was 8. We were almost glad because they fought alot and we figured our house would now be more peaceful. We loved both our parents equally though. Our dad took us every other weekend. It came to a point where he would just pull in the bottom of the driveway and honk the horn, because when he came in they'd fight.

thanks,

we get them at least once a month for the weekend. We drive 1/2 way and meet her on Fridays and then drive 1/2 way back on Sundays to give them back.

Gracie Dean · 01-06-2009, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huffman83

A buddy of mine has been in Iraq for the past 3 years. Has a cute little girl. He's recently going to be getting a divorce from an incredibly beautiful, supportive and understanding woman who wants to be w/ him. She just can't deal w/ him.

His attitude to his daughter when he comes back is pretty much "I already missed everything...so I don't care."

His little girl is only 2-3 years old. He's never really been around his little girl. It sucks and breaks my heart.

But he's just got that Bro's before ho's mentality right now. As much as I miss my friend I couldn't bring myself to want to hang out w/ him when he should be home w/ his family.

I don't even have kids and I couldn't do that.

that sounds like my bro in law!

Huffman83 · 01-06-2009, 05:29 PM

I honestly couldn't be more ashamed. I don't understand what he's going through at all...but I don't care. Nothing should be more important than your kids. No matter how many bullets and bombs are pointed at you.

**Kyle DeLexus** · 01-06-2009, 06:59 PM

Horrible situation for the kids and for the dad once he straightens out and realizes what he missed out on...my dad was just as bad if not worse he left my mom when she was pregnant with me. On average it's been about 4 years between every phone call from him. Everytime he calls he asks why didn't I call him even when I was 12 and didn't know him at all. Last time I talked to him was because his wife had passed away...i'm sure he knew he was about to be alone and wanted to try and start a relationship but after 20 years it's a little too late

01-05-2009, 06:29 PM
Gracie Dean MVP Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	a question for those divorced with kids... My bro in law was in an aweful 5 year marriage. They had 2 stillborna babies and then finally two beautiful kiddos. The Boy is 5 Today and the little girl is 3 After a very rocky 5 years, they split up for good after being off and on for most of that 5 years. He joined the Army and is on his way to Iraq in the next few weeks. He is stationed in Washington State and ex lives in Kansas. He came back on the 22nd of December and stayed till the 3rd of Jan. X has been pretty relaxed on letting him see the kids when ever he is on leave (as she should because she pretty much gets half of what ever he earns including bonus) She also lets us see the kiddos when ever we want. We usually get them one weekend a month as we live 2 hours away. My QUESTION is... would any x keep you from seeing your kids? He made no attempt to see his kids at all during the time he was here because "he didn't want to deal with her bullshit" SO...he did not see them for Christmas nor did he spend any time with his son before his birthday WTF???
Posts: 12,955

01-06-2009, 10:40 AM	#31
crazycoffey .......... Join Date: Dec 2006 Casino cash: $4157901	Long story (sure I shared it about two years ago) - anyway, yes - an x did. flew to dallas, drove down to pick them up and she wouldn't answer the door. filed a police report at the local station, couldn't do anything else about it that day. horrible, flying back home between two empty seats. Anyway, it was awesome when the judge looked at her (female judge too) and said; "if you ever, for any reason other than a court order, ever ever interfere with him seeing his kids again, I will not hesitate to throw you in jail for three weeks. I don't care if you are a cop." her response was a wide eyed "yes ma'am." We were going through other things at the time, it was a mess.
Posts: 28,392

01-06-2009, 11:26 AM	#33
blueballs Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	He could question they're his
Posts: 14,233

01-06-2009, 11:36 AM	#34
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $2249601	Sounds like this guy is just disengaged. Whether he never wanted to have kids, or is dealing with deployment or maybe feelings of being a failed father/husband. I think if these kids have you in their lives as a source of happiness and guidance and you want to continue that role, talk to the mom about maybe taking them overnight once in a while. I'm sure she'd appreciate the break. My parents divorced when I was 8. We were almost glad because they fought alot and we figured our house would now be more peaceful. We loved both our parents equally though. Our dad took us every other weekend. It came to a point where he would just pull in the bottom of the driveway and honk the horn, because when he came in they'd fight.
Posts: 12,319

01-06-2009, 11:36 AM	#35
Huffman83 Veteran Join Date: Mar 2007 Casino cash: $10008077	A buddy of mine has been in Iraq for the past 3 years. Has a cute little girl. He's recently going to be getting a divorce from an incredibly beautiful, supportive and understanding woman who wants to be w/ him. She just can't deal w/ him. His attitude to his daughter when he comes back is pretty much "I already missed everything...so I don't care." His little girl is only 2-3 years old. He's never really been around his little girl. It sucks and breaks my heart. But he's just got that Bro's before ho's mentality right now. As much as I miss my friend I couldn't bring myself to want to hang out w/ him when he should be home w/ his family. I don't even have kids and I couldn't do that. Last edited by Huffman83; 01-06-2009 at 11:38 AM.. Reason: grammar
Posts: 2,240

01-06-2009, 12:29 PM	#36
FishingRod Veteran Join Date: Mar 2006 Casino cash: $10016661	My X did everything she could to keep me from my kids. I had to take her back to court. She still tries to do everything she can to keep me away. She tried to not let my son go to my mothers funeral because he has scout camp. She said it was because of the money she had spend so I told her I would pay her back the friggin money if she couldn't get paid back. She then lied about it saying she couldn't get the money and I should pay her back. I made one phone call and found out it was not that way at all. Two months later she tried it again saying they changed the policy and she would have to use the money for scouts so I should pay her the money. I again made one phone call and found out that too was a lie. That is just one example of what kind of person she is. I will not get down in the dirt with her... my kids need one parent with an idea of right and wrong.
Posts: 4,265

01-06-2009, 12:30 PM	#37
Simply Red You Sweetie! Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $2021206219 VARSITY	antifreeze?
Posts: 71,691

01-06-2009, 01:09 PM	#38
suds79 MVP Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10005036	my brother in law's wife fled the country back to Venezuela with their child. It's pretty sad as he misses his son but he's pretty much screwed. He's going to end up looking for years.
Posts: 5,747

01-06-2009, 05:29 PM	#41
Huffman83 Veteran Join Date: Mar 2007 Casino cash: $10008077	I honestly couldn't be more ashamed. I don't understand what he's going through at all...but I don't care. Nothing should be more important than your kids. No matter how many bullets and bombs are pointed at you.
Posts: 2,240

01-06-2009, 06:59 PM	#42
Kyle DeLexus Opie and Anthony XM 105 Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $10002400	Horrible situation for the kids and for the dad once he straightens out and realizes what he missed out on...my dad was just as bad if not worse he left my mom when she was pregnant with me. On average it's been about 4 years between every phone call from him. Everytime he calls he asks why didn't I call him even when I was 12 and didn't know him at all. Last time I talked to him was because his wife had passed away...i'm sure he knew he was about to be alone and wanted to try and start a relationship but after 20 years it's a little too late
Posts: 7,910

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