Confronting a cheater

Originally Posted by Katipan

I could tell you stories about other women. I could feed you Cosmo stats of why women cheat. I could tell you that I've never met a woman who if given a Prince Charming at home, would go out and cheat. If she cheated, her idea of Prince Charming wasn't at home. I've never met a married woman who cheated for strange. (Tho, mathematically I'm sure they're out there) That's inherently a male trait. Women can get it anytime anywhere. Opportunities are boundless. Women choose to marry in SPITE of it. They don't go looking for it afterwards.

Women love to chat. If communication solved everything with the great communicators that men are, they wouldn't cheat. My ex exploded just as violently when I tried to leave him the right way as he did when I tried to leave him the wrong way. Some of your Prince Charming victims have a helluva lot more to do with their woman straying than you give them credit for.

What was your other theory? Attention? Such crap. If I had craved attention I would have sat at the club and giggled and flirted my way up and down the bar. What I craved was an intimate emotional attachment. If I could get have got it at home... Geez. I confess I'm lazy, I'd rather have it at home.

I like you for a lot of reasons but mostly because you're real and when you want to you can bare your soul on a message board. Men would be well advised to read and then re-read this very post from you to understand the psyche of the female mind. They don't live for the sex like we men do. They want to connect intimately with their mate. The sex is a healthy by-product of women feeling loved and cared for.

Selfishness is a very human trait exclusive of gender. We men battle selfishness and our egos. Neither are conducive to fostering a healthy relationship with a wife. If my buddies say I'm whipped, I regard that as a compliment. That generally indicates I'm paying attention to my wife and meeting her needs, something I was clueless in achieving during my first marriage. Women typically don't understand that we need to feel that respect because we're the hunters and providers.

The point is that our society and education system wants to teach history, reading, writing, math, cooking, sex, women's liberation, black history, and how to work on our cars but when is the last time you saw a secular class on how to make your marriage work - what makes you spouse tick so you can succeed in marriage? Where are those classes? Why can't we teach our youth how to communicate with their spouses and achieve marital happiness?

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Originally Posted by Phobia

The point is that our society and education system wants to teach history, reading, writing, math, cooking, sex, women's liberation, black history, and how to work on our cars but when is the last time you saw a secular class on how to make your marriage work - what makes you spouse tick so you can succeed in marriage? Where are those classes? Why can't we teach our youth how to communicate with their spouses and achieve marital happiness?

Human pair bonding has been extensively studied and there are several courses one could take at the university level to elucidate any questions that you have.

You won't get answers as cut and dried as what you seek above because you are looking for a very specific kind of answer for a heteronormative, nuclear family that is culturally constructed.