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Old 02-07-2005, 10:22 PM  
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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I smoked some pot today and....
I landed the most lucrative contract I've ever had. Yeah, after I smoked I called a broker and got 25 jobs per day handed to me. Since I make $20 from each one I get to make $250 per day for shuffling paperwork. I'm going to smoke some more pot tomorrow.
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Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.Skip Towne is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:48 PM   #16
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Dave Lane is my new favorite poster.
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:50 PM   #17
Eleazar Eleazar is offline
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:51 PM   #18
Michael Michigan Michael Michigan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave Lane
I'd say lay off the pot and work on those math skills.

Dave


I was gonna go to class,[and learn math] before I got high
I coulda' cheated and I coulda passed, but I got high
I'm taking it next semester and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high

I was gonna go to work, but then I got high
I just got a new promotion, but I got high
Now I'm selling dope and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high

I was gonna go to court, before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support, but then I got high (No you weren't)
They took my whole pay check, and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high,
Because I got high
Because I got high

I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high, (I'm serious man)
I was gonna pull right over and stop, but I was high
Now I'm a paraplegic, and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high

I was gonna pay my car a note, until I got high
I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat, but then I got high
Now the tow truck's pulling away, and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high, I'm serious
I was gonna eat your pussy to, but then I got high
Now i'm jacking off and I know why, (turn this shit off) 'cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high

I messed up my entire life, because I got high
I lost my kids and wife , because I got high
Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk, and I know why, (why man) 'cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high

I'm gonna stop singing this song, because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong, because I'm high
And if I don't sell one copy I know why, (why man) 'cuz I'm high,
because I'm high, because I'm high

(Are you really high man?) (he really is high man!) get jiggy with it
O bring it back (say what say what oh, Because I'm high
Because I'm high, because I'm high
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Michael Michigan is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Michael Michigan is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Michael Michigan is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Michael Michigan is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.Michael Michigan is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:51 PM
Mr. Kotter
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:52 PM   #19
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ali Chi3fs
Dave Lane is my new favorite poster.

Is that your brother on the valentine thread?
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Old 02-07-2005, 10:53 PM   #20
|Zach| |Zach| is offline
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Wow, twice in one thread.
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:40 PM   #21
Dave Lane Dave Lane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stevieray
Is that your brother on the valentine thread?
That was enough to gag a maggot!

Dave
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:48 PM
ENDelt260
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Old 02-08-2005, 12:49 PM   #22
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Congrats on the work Skip.
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Old 02-08-2005, 01:05 PM   #23
Fat Elvis Fat Elvis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skip Towne
I landed the most lucrative contract I've ever had. Yeah, after I smoked I called a broker and got 25 jobs per day handed to me. Since I make $20 from each one I get to make $250 per day for shuffling paperwork. I'm going to smoke some more pot tomorrow.
What is it that you are doing, and how do I find a job like that?
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Old 02-08-2005, 01:23 PM   #24
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis
What is it that you are doing, and how do I find a job like that?
Shuffling paper my ass.
He's opened a whore house. Been running it by hand so he gets to keep most of the money.
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Old 02-08-2005, 01:25 PM   #25
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Something tells me that skip overslept today, and when he woke up, just sat on the floor in front of the refrigerator eating cold pizza hoping to see the little man that runs in and turns that light on and off.
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Old 02-08-2005, 01:28 PM   #26
Pants Pants is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
Something tells me that skip overslept today, and when he woke up, just sat on the floor in front of the refrigerator eating cold pizza hoping to see the little man that runs in and turns that light on and off.
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Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Pants has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 02-08-2005, 01:38 PM   #27
Over-Head Over-Head is offline
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Seeing’s as your having such a great day, and I finished up early,
I’ll roll one up in your honor
As for “Pot Songs”
Song: The Devil Went Down To Jamaica

Lyrics :
The devil went to Jamaica
he was lookin' to sell some weed
he was doin' fine
they were standin' in line
it was excellent weed indeed
when he came across a young man
who was likewise peddelin' pot
and the devil slid down the beach to the kid
and said "boy lemme tell you what"
i guess you kinda figured I'm a reefer head of course
and after all this time
i guess that i'm
a connoisseur of sorts
now your stuff smells ok
but this could tranquilize a horse
i'll bet a million in cash
against your stash
coz i think mine's better than yours
the boy said "my name's johnny and you ain't smoked nothin' yet"
one hit of this grass
will kick your ass
you got yourself a bet
johnny roll a ball of hash
and make sure it's the bomb
coz the devil's got the kind of stuff
they smoked in vietnam
you'll get a million smackaroo's
in cash if you cash if you can cope,
but if you can't devil'll get your dope
the devil packed a bong
with a little acapulco gold
and resin flew from his fingertips
as he fired up his bowl
he filled that chamber all the way
and he took a mighty hit
as they passed it back and forth
it gave'em both a coughin' fit
when the bowl was finished johnny said
"hey man that stuff was great"
but fill your lungs with some of this
and prepare to vegetate
cannabis,apeeva,sweet mary jane
the devil's in the back yard fryin' his brain
zig zag filled with a diggity dang
hold on tight it'll hit you like a tank
the devil nodded off because he knew that he was stoned
and he asked if he could buy an ounce of the stuff that johnny owned.
johnny said "devil just come on back if you ever wanna catch a buzz"
i done told you once you son of a bitch,
mine's the best there ever was
then they
fired up doobies one by one,
ain't gonna stop 'til the bag's done
green as a bullfrog,
sticky as glue
granted you'll get high,
yes i do
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Old 02-08-2005, 02:17 PM   #28
go bo go bo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Over-Head
Seeing’s as your having such a great day, and I finished up early,
I’ll roll one up in your honor
As for “Pot Songs”
Song: The Devil Went Down To Jamaica

Lyrics :
The devil went to Jamaica
he was lookin' to sell some weed
he was doin' fine
they were standin' in line
it was excellent weed indeed
when he came across a young man
who was likewise peddelin' pot
and the devil slid down the beach to the kid
and said "boy lemme tell you what"
i guess you kinda figured I'm a reefer head of course
and after all this time
i guess that i'm
a connoisseur of sorts
now your stuff smells ok
but this could tranquilize a horse
i'll bet a million in cash
against your stash
coz i think mine's better than yours
the boy said "my name's johnny and you ain't smoked nothin' yet"
one hit of this grass
will kick your ass
you got yourself a bet
johnny roll a ball of hash
and make sure it's the bomb
coz the devil's got the kind of stuff
they smoked in vietnam
you'll get a million smackaroo's
in cash if you cash if you can cope,
but if you can't devil'll get your dope
the devil packed a bong
with a little acapulco gold
and resin flew from his fingertips
as he fired up his bowl
he filled that chamber all the way
and he took a mighty hit
as they passed it back and forth
it gave'em both a coughin' fit
when the bowl was finished johnny said
"hey man that stuff was great"
but fill your lungs with some of this
and prepare to vegetate
cannabis,apeeva,sweet mary jane
the devil's in the back yard fryin' his brain
zig zag filled with a diggity dang
hold on tight it'll hit you like a tank
the devil nodded off because he knew that he was stoned
and he asked if he could buy an ounce of the stuff that johnny owned.
johnny said "devil just come on back if you ever wanna catch a buzz"
i done told you once you son of a bitch,
mine's the best there ever was
then they
fired up doobies one by one,
ain't gonna stop 'til the bag's done
green as a bullfrog,
sticky as glue
granted you'll get high,
yes i do
uh, i can't recall that one...

could you hum a few bars?
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Old 02-08-2005, 02:20 PM   #29
stevieray stevieray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by go bo
uh, i can't recall that one...

could you hum a few bars?
Charlie Daniels stoned.
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Old 02-08-2005, 02:27 PM   #30
redfan redfan is offline
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Congrats, Skip.
Apparently, I need to get some pot.
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