If other NFL quarterbacks had been riding Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle... - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 06-13-2006, 05:44 PM

We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory.

Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle.

Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car.

Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions.

Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed.

Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery.

Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him.

Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson.

Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players.

Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him.

Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season.

Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit.

Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car.

Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.

J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying.

Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh.

Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is.

Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement

Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass.

Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young...

Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday.

Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

Aaron Brooks – Al Davis would fire Art Shell.

Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all.

Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back.

Moooo · 06-13-2006, 10:58 PM

I figured the Brett Favre one would have said something to the effect of being addicted to painkillers for 5 more years after the accident.

Moooo

Halfcan · 06-13-2006, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If only I could find one. If only...

Nice list.

Discuss Thrower · 06-14-2006, 02:24 AM

Reposted as myspace bulletin, fo shizzle.

NJ Chief Fan · 06-14-2006, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

ya should of said that his oline carried him to the hospital

ChiefsfaninPA · 06-14-2006, 08:11 AM

This is pure genious I tell ya.

HC_Chief · 06-14-2006, 08:23 AM

This is great stuff

chagrin · 06-14-2006, 08:27 AM

That's great stuff, but I think you should redo the:

"Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson." Part - you see, Chris Simms made some damn fine plays this past year, and was much more exciting to watch.

It was Brian Griese who mirrored Brad Johnson

Pennywise · 06-14-2006, 08:52 AM

The irony of the whole thing would be if Roethlisberger's facial reconstruction and missing teefees healed into something like this...

InChiefsHeaven · 06-14-2006, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PennyWise

The irony of the whole thing would be if Roethlisberger's facial reconstruction and missing teefees healed into something like this...

Frazod · 06-14-2006, 09:09 AM

I'm just glad that Plummet is safely tucked away in his Honda *snicker* Element.

I certainly wouldn't want anything to happen to him that might keep him off the field.

**Nzoner** · 06-14-2006, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chagrin

That's great stuff, but I think you should redo the:

"Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson." Part - you see, Chris Simms made some damn fine plays this past year, and was much more exciting to watch.

It was Brian Griese who mirrored Brad Johnson

Yeah but Griese never even made it to the motorcycle he tripped over his dog first and was unable to ride.

teedubya · 06-14-2006, 10:23 AM

Very nice, Rain Man... That shit is golden. Id recommend going to Warfield Illustrated with that, and help make Nick Athan some money. heh.

teedubya · 06-14-2006, 10:33 AM

geenyus

scooter · 06-14-2006, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

You forgot the part where Peter King uses the (non)accident for an excuse to do yet ANOTHER story about the Patriots.

MOhillbilly · 06-14-2006, 12:49 PM

Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions.

06-13-2006, 05:44 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-642449 VARSITY	If other NFL quarterbacks had been riding Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle... We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory. Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle. Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens. Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car. Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions. Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed. Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery. Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him. Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson. Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it. Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players. Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him. Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season. Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit. Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car. Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting. J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely. Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying. Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh. Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down. Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is. Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn. Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass. Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young... Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains. David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday. Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy. Aaron Brooks – Al Davis would fire Art Shell. Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all. Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back.
Posts: 145,445

06-13-2006, 10:58 PM	#16
Moooo Seeking Enlightenment... Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Springfield Casino cash: $10004900	I figured the Brett Favre one would have said something to the effect of being addicted to painkillers for 5 more years after the accident. Moooo
Posts: 3,405

06-14-2006, 02:24 AM	#18
Discuss Thrower "You like to drink?" Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: "I like to drink." Casino cash: $-340000	Reposted as myspace bulletin, fo shizzle. Last edited by Discuss Thrower; 07-30-2006 at 12:01 PM..
Posts: 45,251

06-14-2006, 08:11 AM	#20
ChiefsfaninPA "F_ck Family Fun Night" Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: York, PA Casino cash: $10005025	This is pure genious I tell ya.
Posts: 2,373

06-14-2006, 08:23 AM	#21
HC_Chief That's just f***in' stupid Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: suburbia Casino cash: $3687107	This is great stuff __________________ "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"
Posts: 12,355

06-14-2006, 08:27 AM	#22
chagrin Giggitty! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missoula, Mt Casino cash: $9804905	That's great stuff, but I think you should redo the: "Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson." Part - you see, Chris Simms made some damn fine plays this past year, and was much more exciting to watch. It was Brian Griese who mirrored Brad Johnson __________________ Times have changed, so have I, things are better now.
Posts: 13,414

06-14-2006, 08:52 AM	#23
Pennywise Freckles Playboy Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Derry, Maine Casino cash: $-660000	The irony of the whole thing would be if Roethlisberger's facial reconstruction and missing teefees healed into something like this... Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 9,548

06-14-2006, 09:09 AM	#25
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-746615	I'm just glad that Plummet is safely tucked away in his Honda snicker Element. I certainly wouldn't want anything to happen to him that might keep him off the field.
Posts: 121,761

06-14-2006, 10:23 AM	#27
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $8993042	Very nice, Rain Man... That shit is golden. Id recommend going to Warfield Illustrated with that, and help make Nick Athan some money. heh.
Posts: 36,832

06-14-2006, 10:33 AM	#28
teedubya Most Valuable Poster Join Date: Oct 2003 Casino cash: $8993042	geenyus
Posts: 36,832

06-14-2006, 12:49 PM	#30
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions. __________________ True Son of Liberty
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