Social Anxiety

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

My job requires me to be in front of groups of people. I am very comfortable there. But I have never been comfortable on the other side of the line. I don't have anxiety attacks, but I would SERIOUSLY rather be somewhere else than in a large group of people.

Dinny

[Nirvana58]

Originally Posted by NewChief

Some of my really good friends have social anxiety (they're also pot heads, and I think pot has a tendency to make people want to stay in the comfort of their own worlds after prolonged use).

These two friends are interesting, though, because they're extreme extroverts in social situations. Like they are the life of the party and everyone loves to have them around. They're completely "on" when they're in social scenarios, and I think that's why they have social anxiety... because it's exhausting for them to be in social situations. I think they also tend to "lose" themselves in those types of social situations and dislike losing control, so they prefer to stay at home and in control of their actions.

This is me to a T. I am extremely extroverted when I need to be but honestly it is exhausting and would rather just stay at home. It is even worst now with my job because I have so be social 24/7 there. By the time I get home I really don't want to see anybody.

Pot can also play a factor with long term use in social anxiety. I don't know if its more of a chicken or the egg conundrum. Did these behaviors draw me to pot or did pot help bring out this anxiety. I have been clean for about 7 months after 10 years of use. I can honestly say my anxiety has gone down but I still can be a hermit.

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

Originally Posted by NewChief

I used to get it really bad though my teenage years. Then I started drinking and became an extrovert in social situations. Interestingly, I'm now pretty extroverted all the time, not just when I'm drinking. I do still get in scenarios where I feel awkward and tend to get introverted.

I'm not suggesting to start drinking as a way to combat your social anxiety, but it did actually work for me.

I was going to suggest smoking more dope, but this is legal.

Dinny

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by NewChief

I used to get it really bad though my teenage years. Then I started drinking and became an extrovert in social situations. Interestingly, I'm now pretty extroverted all the time, not just when I'm drinking. I do still get in scenarios where I feel awkward and tend to get introverted.

I'm not suggesting to start drinking as a way to combat your social anxiety, but it did actually work for me.

This is about how it was for me. I'm a bit more confident now which allows me to be comfortable in larger groups. Generally, if there is one person in a place I know, I'm solid. But, as I've gotten older I've gotten better at even sitting in a bar by myself to watch a game and chatting up whoever is around.

[TLO]

Panic attacks, not being sociable, and avoiding most social situations.

[ShortRoundChief]

Originally Posted by Big Smoke

Panic attacks, not being sociable, and avoiding most social situations.

It is all mental and most likely due to setting too much importance on a single event. Force yourself to ask someone how they're doing, look them in the eye, and if they reject you (and if so **** em anyway cause it sounds like you're better not knowing them). If you feel a panic attack coming on question every negative thought that enters your mind. Look at it reasonably and make yourself assign a percentage of probability to the worst possible scenario occurring then focus on the much larger percentage that it won't. Most importantly deep breaths or get a glass of water if you can. Accept those negative thoughts, realize there is a slim chance, if any, of it being that bad. Don't repress them because trying to force them away gives them strength (seriously negative thoughts are like a loanshark you owe money to) let them come, analyze their realism, and they will run like the wind.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

[QUOTE=Big Smoke;10575863]Panic attacks, not being sociable, and avoiding most social situations.[/QUOTE

That's me. Although I did figure out that for some reason the blood pressure medication I was taking was making my anxiety 100 times worse.

[Katipan]

I can brave whatever crowd. Speak in front of whomever. Be outgoing and loud if needed. But all of it is me bullying myself into doing it. I'm happiest in the corner. Not the dark sad corner. But the ones that keep people from approaching me from more than one direction.

Act as if.

[Grim]

I'm sure it varies from person-to-person but, for me, pot helped alleviate the symptoms but I feel was a big contributor to the problem.

I've suffered from panic/anxiety attacks for the past 15 years or so.
I quit smoking dope for a few months, got semi-regular exercise and cut out caffeine and the anxiety almost totally went away.
I started taking in caffeine again... no problems.
Exercise has been the same.... semi-regular.
Started smoking dope again and the anxiety attacks came back almost immediately.

Good luck man. Anxiety SUCKS.

[DanT]

The National Institute of Mental Health has a helpful page for the public on Anxiety, including info on Social Anxiety and approaches for getting treatment:

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...dex.shtml#pub5

[keg in kc]

I've struggled with it my entire life. Mine's a little different from yours in that I'm fine with people once I'm around them, talkative even. It's getting me there in the first place that's the hard part. New people and unfamiliar places are extremely difficult for me, particularly pressure situations like tests or interviews. Telephones - I don't do well with those. And I have white coat syndrome that's so bad that I haven't had a physical in 22 years.

My advice would be to seek professional help, because anxiety becomes entrenched and may even grow more severe over time. I know that mine has. It's gotten harder for me to do things over time, not easier. And I don't think it's something you can overcome with happy thoughts and a go-getter attitude.

[Easy 6]

The only time I ever got shy and quiet in public was if I was stoned, other than that I'll jump right up and give a presentation or put on a play in front a big crowd no problem.

Wish I had some great advice, but it just seems to be one of those things people have to work through on their own.

I have anxiety but socially I'm fine. Sometimes I can't muster up the courage to leave the house but it has nothing to do with social situations.

[Rain Man]

A lot of this is practice and exposure.

When I was in my 20s, I was petrified to speak in front of a crowd. Even if it was just a "go around the room and let's all say our names", it was petrifying. Then I got a job where I had to do public presentations all the time, and I realized that it's really not terrifying. The people don't care about you anyway. They just want to hear what you're talking about and you're just a vessel for that. So you just get up there and talk. I've found that it's best to know your material, but to not practice. Talking is much easier than reciting a memorized speech. Now I don't think twice about it, and I'm a pretty strong introvert.

I had a new experience last month that pushed my limits a bit. I had to moderate a focus group live in front of 500+ people. That was a bit concerning because I had no idea what people were going to say, and I had to guide the discussion. But it went very well.

Now, social gatherings are a different animal. I really don't like going to parties where you have to break into social conversations and stand there with a drink in your hand. I pretty much just stand by myself the whole time. I was just at a fundraiser party last week, and I stood there like a doofus the whole time because everyone was broken up into groups of two or three people and they were all these "society people" who know each other and it was loud and there were no other people standing around that I could talk to.

Funny story, though, and I'll share this at the risk of sounding like a snobby wannabe, which is truly not my intent. It's just kind of funny. The event was a small fundraiser for the governor's race, maybe 50 or 60 people. I'm standing there not sure what to do and everybody else seems to know each other and are chattily gabbing. At one point the only other person standing there alone was the governor. So I went over and introduced myself and we had a pleasant conversation. I thought it was really weird that he wasn't surrounded by hangers-on.

[GordonGekko]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Now, social gatherings are a different animal. I really don't like going to parties where you have to break into social conversations and stand there with a drink in your hand. I pretty much just stand by myself the whole time. I was just at a fundraiser party last week, and I stood there like a doofus the whole time because everyone was broken up into groups of two or three people and they were all these "society people" who know each other and it was loud and there were no other people standing around that I could talk to.

This shit happens to me all the time. I frequently go to things where I do not know anyone, and just try to play cool. What helps is that I try to think what Van Wilder, (Ryan Reynolds) would do. It seems like in all his movies he just kind of goes with the flow and adds in laughterous comments every now and again. It helps to have that kind of gameplan.